SmileFace Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Tough crowd tonight. I know. It makes me sad. I can't even joke anymore. What is happening to this board? Haha, j/k I must learn to be serious in such a serious thread, teeehee
Woggle Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I don't blame people who get into a bad relationship but when they keep going back to the same person over and over again or go after the same kind of person that is when you lose sympathy. I hear both men and women say that they don't feel bad for Rihanna anymore. There are men who would still be with my ex further emasculating themselves trying to make the relationship work and those men would be completely out of their mind. 2
Emilia Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 You ever notice this? Not just online but in real life. Both genders have been guilty of getting involved with people who lets be honest werent great people at all but what I've noticed is women get harsher criticsm when dating "bad" people then guys. Often it doesn't seem to be a genuine mistake by women but simply their allowing men to take control of their lives just to avoid making decisions. I'm harsh with them because I see it as something that they need to snap out of and take charge of their own lives. With men from what I've seen it tends to be a genuine mistake and they get out when they realise it. Women stay in relationships that are bad for them (but maybe not for the guy) for much longer than they should purely for dependence reasons. 2
Author Revolver Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 This proves men love bitches. When all these "nice" guys are complaining about not finding a girl - don't blame us - since most are looking for someone to stick a heel up their ass and call them Sally. Lol..........
Els Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 This. I think a lot of it starts with young women who with some frequency do a pretty terrible job of picking men of quality for a relationship. It can definitely go both ways and I have seen some men choose bad partners even though they were warned. I just don't see it as much as the opposite. Men absolutely do pick 'bad' partners every bit as often. You just don't notice, because you either have the same blinders on as the men who picked them do, or you tend to focus more on who the women pick and not the men. The OP's question however wasn't IF they pick them, it's why they're not criticized as harshly for picking them. I think the extra harshness stems from the antiquated notion that women are supposed to be the 'gatekeepers'. We have more limited 'resources', eggs, are more physically vulnerable, and are thus expected to be more 'picky' to protect ourselves. Men are also expected to be more 'visual', thus it's probably more socially acceptable for a man to be blinded by a hot bitch, than it is for a woman to be blinded by a hunky douche. 1
StanMusial Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 It is amazing sometimes. I am thinking of one particular case... this gal was well-educated, quiet, well mannered, etc. She got mixed up with this total scuzzball LOL. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE was like "what are you doing?" But she just didn't care. It was like she was book smart but not life smart or something. Anyway she married that scuzzball and he treated her like crap of course. The end of the story is he knocked up some 20 year old and moved in with her and left the lady with two little kids that he hardly ever sees (and he never pays child support either). I saw a lot of posts about "victim blaming". I don't necessarily "blame" her (above example) for anything. She had good advice on how to proceed but she ignored it, she made a poor choice of mate and paid the consequences. To her credit, she will tell anyone that she made a bad choice on him. She learned her lesson and took her medicine. She will be OK probably, she is from good stock. Its the ones with poor upbringing that keep going back to it.
Dusk1983 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 It's because women are the ones who do the selecting. You can't blame a hungry man for not noticing the holes in the apple as he chows down, it's quite possibly the only food he can get. This, basically.
Bristolius Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 OK, how about this explanation: Weakness is contemptible. Let's say that the above is a general attitude in our society. Mild failings get an eye roll, big failings earn hatred. Feminine qualities are described and perceived as weak. So women start off with an unfair amount of contempt. When a woman suffers something, victim blaming and the just world fallacy assign her an even higher level of contempt. 1
Emilia Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Feminine qualities are described and perceived as weak. So women start off with an unfair amount of contempt. When a woman suffers something, victim blaming and the just world fallacy assign her an even higher level of contempt. I think it will depend on how she handles it. Learned helplessness drives me up the wall but on the other hand, everyone ends up in situations they have no control over. 1
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