Why are people harsher on women for choosing bad partners?

[mesmerized]

I think it's because people assume a man can protect himself and women need to be protected.

 

As such, if the woman is making poor choices and one cannot protect her, then it's normal to react with projected anger towards her as one is helpless in protecting/helping her.

 

That is the worse reasoning I've ever heard. In fact, by your reasoning, it should be the exact opposite. People should feel bad for the woman not be angry at her.

[tbf]

This thread needs some science.

 

In humans, the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making portion of our brains, doesn't fully mature until age 25.

 

Now how you expect that young women would be any better at making decisions prior to the full maturation of their decision-making function, doesn't correlate with human anatomy. It's like expecting all females to be capable of bearing children prior to puberty.

[fortyninethousand322]

This thread needs some science.

 

In humans, the prefrontal cortex, the decision-making portion of our brains, doesn't fully mature until age 25.

 

Now how you expect that young women would be any better at making decisions prior to the full maturation of their decision-making function, doesn't correlate with human anatomy. It's like expecting all females to be capable of bearing children prior to puberty.

 

As far as I'm aware, no one is talking exclusively about young people. We all know or have heard stories of people who repeatedly make bad choices regarding their love lives. Even after midnight on their 25th birthday after which they instantly transform into a wise sage.

 

The point is at some point you have to conclude that people who date or marry people who mistreat them, actually prefer dating those types of people. It's like the old joke about two guys walking past a Porsche showroom and one guy says "I want that" and the other replies "clearly you don't". Same deal here.

 

Saying "oh they're just making mistakes" is just justification for people's poor choices. Poor to us I mean, not poor to the people making them. Or else they wouldn't keep making them...

[Bristolius]

I like this set of ideas: Victim blaming - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Why women suffer this more than men is a damn good question.

[tbf]

As far as I'm aware, no one is talking exclusively about young people. We all know or have heard stories of people who repeatedly make bad choices regarding their love lives. Even after midnight on their 25th birthday after which they instantly transform into a wise sage.

 

The point is at some point you have to conclude that people who date or marry people who mistreat them, actually prefer dating those types of people. It's like the old joke about two guys walking past a Porsche showroom and one guy says "I want that" and the other replies "clearly you don't". Same deal here.

 

Saying "oh they're just making mistakes" is just justification for people's poor choices. Poor to us I mean, not poor to the people making them. Or else they wouldn't keep making them...

This isn't about men and women, it's about people who came from dysfunctional family environments. Also, not everyone is equal in IQ and ability to think rationally.

 

The presumption that women should be more capable than men, is just one of those brainless asinine assumptions.

[fortyninethousand322]

The presumption that women should be more capable than men, is just one of those brainless asinine assumptions.

 

Agreed. Human idiocy does not discriminate.

[fortyninethousand322]

I like this set of ideas: Victim blaming - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Why women suffer this more than men is a damn good question.

 

I don't that's exactly the same. If someone walks up to you and punches you in the head it's clearly their fault, not yours. But, if I walked up to a 49er fan last night after the game and ribbed him about the outcome, I'm not asking for sympathy if I end up getting roughed up.

 

Ask yourself this: do you feel sorry for Manti Te'o? Or other men who get scammed by online dating profiles (usually an old man scammed by a picture of a much younger woman)? Or people who still get scammed by a "Nigerian Prince" email?

 

That should reveal if there's any gender bias...

[Bristolius]

I don't that's exactly the same. If someone walks up to you and punches you in the head it's clearly their fault, not yours. But, if I walked up to a 49er fan last night after the game and ribbed him about the outcome, I'm not asking for sympathy if I end up getting roughed up.

 

Ask yourself this: do you feel sorry for Manti Te'o? Or other men who get scammed by online dating profiles (usually an old man scammed by a picture of a much younger woman)? Or people who still get scammed by a "Nigerian Prince" email?

 

That should reveal if there's any gender bias...

 

Victim blaming is extremely popular. It applies to many situations racism, rape, domestic abuse. Choosing bad partners. Even illness.

[fortyninethousand322]

Victim blaming is extremely popular. It applies to many situations racism, rape, domestic abuse. Choosing bad partners. Even illness.

 

Right. But not all victim blaming is the same.

 

If you wire $20k to a Nigerian Prince...I'm going to give you some of the blame. i think that's pretty fair.

[Bristolius]

I don't that's exactly the same. If someone walks up to you and punches you in the head it's clearly their fault, not yours...

 

But I was wearing my horizontal striped shirt with my green pants. Wasn't I asking for it?

 

Seriously, I think it applies. A woman chooses a man that turns out to be a jerk. Another woman might say, "she shouldn't have gone with him because I wouldn't have." And a man might say, " how could she not realize he could never love her like I could."

[fortyninethousand322]

But I was wearing my horizontal striped shirt with my green pants. Wasn't I asking for it?

 

Seriously, I think it applies. A woman chooses a man that turns out to be a jerk. Another woman might say, "she shouldn't have gone with him because I wouldn't have." And a man might say, " how could she not realize he could never love her like I could."

 

This is true. But, if it happens repeatedly, we're talking about preferences, not mistakes.

 

If I'm a vegan and I eat chicken noodle soup that you told me was vegetable soup, that's a mistake. If you catch me at a restaurant eating a 12 ounce New York strip 3 days a week...that's a choice.

[SJC2008]

I relate to them because I have the same problem. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am attracted to controlling women. I don't seek them out consciously but if I like a woman a lot, there's a strong chance she's a controing beeyatch. Good thing the last one isn't over her ex because I'd be with her in a new york minute KNOWING she's all wrong for me. Mabye someone's looking out for me:)

[SmileFace]

I relate to them because I have the same problem. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am attracted to controlling women. I don't seek them out consciously but if I like a woman a lot, there's a strong chance she's a controing beeyatch. Good thing the last one isn't over her ex because I'd be with her in a new york minute KNOWING she's all wrong for me. Mabye someone's looking out for me:)

This proves men love bitches.

When all these "nice" guys are complaining about not finding a girl - don't blame us - since most are looking for someone to stick a heel up their ass and call them Sally.

[ltjg45]

This proves men love bitches.

 

Wrong. I don't.

 

I sooner start a fight with a bitch than be in a relationship with her.

[SmileFace]

Wrong. I don't.

 

I sooner start a fight with a bitch than be in a relationship with her.

Yeah - I wasn't serious.

:-)

 

I get tons of immature guys attention when I am a complete bitch.

However it isn't the attention or the type of relationship I want.

So I rather be - level headed me, hehe

[ltjg45]

Yeah - I wasn't serious.

:-)

 

I get tons of immature guys attention when I am a complete bitch.

However it isn't the attention or the type of relationship I want.

So I rather be - level headed me, hehe

 

I really need to know who is who on this forum when it comes to males and females.

[fortyninethousand322]

This proves men love bitches.

When all these "nice" guys are complaining about not finding a girl - don't blame us - since most are looking for someone to stick a heel up their ass and call them Sally.

 

Actually, I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me you can call me Al.

[SmileFace]

I really need to know who is who on this forum when it comes to males and females.

Are you calling me a man?

 

Twice in one day...jeez

[ltjg45]

Are you calling me a man?

 

Twice in one day...jeez

 

No!

 

I just posted my response thinking I was responding to a male.

 

I do apologize for that. I'm feeling stupid finding out otherwise.

[ls32ssibm]

It isn't about choosing bad partners - it's about staying with them and picking the same type over and over.

 

 

Women do this much more then men.

[SmileFace]

It isn't about choosing bad partners - it's about staying with them and picking the same type over and over.

 

 

Women do this much more then men.

Myth and/or fact ...... I am pretty sure.

[todreaminblue]

As far as I'm aware, no one is talking exclusively about young people. We all know or have heard stories of people who repeatedly make bad choices regarding their love lives. Even after midnight on their 25th birthday after which they instantly transform into a wise sage.

 

The point is at some point you have to conclude that people who date or marry people who mistreat them, actually prefer dating those types of people. It's like the old joke about two guys walking past a Porsche showroom and one guy says "I want that" and the other replies "clearly you don't". Same deal here.

 

Saying "oh they're just making mistakes" is just justification for people's poor choices. Poor to us I mean, not poor to the people making them. Or else they wouldn't keep making them...

 

 

 

luckily a good trait to be considered having is forgiveness, now i think forgiveness should come into play when people make bad or poor choices...

 

 

that includes forgiveness for peopel who make poor choices in abusing others,since when are people definable on what poor choices they make, instead of good ones they have made or good traits they have...like loyalty , honesty, enduring and just forgiving.......people change...i would hate to be judged on my poor choices, woudl rather people consider how i have helped others, not that i had two long term relationships with dicks...who by the way i have forgiven..i dont think they would have that in my eulogy "here lies deb the sucker who went out with two dicks what bad choices she made, she should have made better choices.....i had three girls wonderful ones actually out of an often abusive relationship..two sons in the oen before that.so shouldnt be judged while im here on earth by people who dont know why those choices were made, same goes for everyone else who has made poor choices or suffered in an abusive relationship...support not judge...try seeing a person fro qualities other than poor choices.....liek compassion theres a trait i love......deb

[SJC2008]

This proves men love bitches.

When all these "nice" guys are complaining about not finding a girl - don't blame us - since most are looking for someone to stick a heel up their ass and call them Sally.

 

How does it prove it? I didn't say I seek them out. I've dated all sorts of women. I did say " if I like a woman a lot, there's a strong chance she's a controing beeyatch". So what does that mean? It means my head is effed up because of the environment I grew up in, it's "normal". Which is why I can relate to woman who choose bad men. Now to the choosing part: When you "choose" you have to have options. The less options the less "choice" you have. TBS at the ripe old age of 31 I'm finally to the point where a bad r is better than no r. I've never dated just to be with someone, or dated a woman I wasn't into for a steady supply. This is evident by the fact I'm 31 and have had 3 sexual experiences in my entire life. So going this long without a female companion and seemingly having few options I would date that woman knowing she's not right for me. She's not a bitch in the sense that she's abusive she's just Never wrong and always has to have her way. I guess I can take pride in the fact that I made it to 31 before settling lol.

[SmileFace]

How does it prove it? I didn't say I seek them out. I've dated all sorts of women. I did say " if I like a woman a lot, there's a strong chance she's a controing beeyatch". So what does that mean? It means my head is effed up because of the environment I grew up in, it's "normal". Which is why I can relate to woman who choose bad men. Now to the choosing part: When you "choose" you have to have options. The less options the less "choice" you have. TBS at the ripe old age of 31 I'm finally to the point where a bad r is better than no r. I've never dated just to be with someone, or dated a woman I wasn't into for a steady supply. This is evident by the fact I'm 31 and have had 3 sexual experiences in my entire life. So going this long without a female companion and seemingly having few options I would date that woman knowing she's not right for me. She's not a bitch in the sense that she's abusive she's just Never wrong and always has to have her way. I guess I can take pride in the fact that I made it to 31 before settling lol.

 

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I said I was joking.

[fortyninethousand322]

Scroll down

I said I was joking.

 

Tough crowd tonight.