This girl agreed to go out with me on Friday but wants to see me right after work????

[PhillyDude]

Sigh. I'm sure she trusts you just about as equally based on the above.

 

Next time, save your money instead of phone bills for all those women you meet online in exchange for "cuddles".

 

 

I;'m not sure I know what you mean?

[Divasu]

I;'m not sure I know what you mean?

 

Don't play coy.

[MissLiberty]

Two weeks ago when I asked her out and agreed on 2/8 she said cool but can it be late?

 

And I was like......Ok, that's fine and she said 9:30pm or 10pm. So today she asked are we still on for Friday and then says......"Can it be earlier?"

 

So that's why it's doesn't seem right

 

She thought she had to work late Friday night. Asked to bump up the time, because she was leaving work earlier than initially expected.

 

You have admitted you are exhausted on by the time Friday night rolls around, why cant she feel the same?

[crude]

You went out 5 times, how much did you spend and how much did she spend? That could be telling.

[Balzac]

Interesting question but I'd have no expectation that a woman reciprocate much in the 5 date scenario. Are you asking him an aggregate dollar amount or a ratio of his:her cash outlay?

 

In my mind, her accepting his offer of a date indicates his spending was not at issue. Reuniting over dinner presents a longer time commitment after a year of no dating. Not sure I'd choose that regardless of my wallet.

[SmileFace]

Yea... I am pretty sure you aren't interesting enough that obviously if a women wants to see you - she must be using you for something.

[sabre80]

Wow did you ever think that maybe she might like you and wants a longer date. 9:30 is late unless you are the party type.

[serial muse]

She thought she had to work late Friday night. Asked to bump up the time, because she was leaving work earlier than initially expected.

 

This.

 

/thread.

[PhillyDude]

You went out 5 times, how much did you spend and how much did she spend? That could be telling.

 

 

1st date....I paid

 

2nd date...I paid

 

3rd date....she paid

 

4th date....I paid

 

5th date......we went dutch because I was laid off right before the date

[serial muse]

In all seriousness, PhillyDude - you've gotten a lot of heat here because many people think you're over-analyzing every little thing with each person you date. That is sometimes counteracted by the already paranoid, but the vast majority of respondents tend to comment on the over-analyzing. However, you only respond positively to the paranoid. Exhibit A: This thread.

 

So I'm really wondering whether you ever take any of the advice that you seem extremely, and pre-emptively, suspicious of your dates/prospective dates to heart? Do you ever even question this instinct?

[PhillyDude]

In all seriousness, PhillyDude - you've gotten a lot of heat here because many people think you're over-analyzing every little thing with each person you date. That is sometimes counteracted by the already paranoid, but the vast majority of respondents tend to comment on the over-analyzing. However, you only respond positively to the paranoid. Exhibit A: This thread.

 

So I'm really wondering whether you ever take any of the advice that you seem extremely, and pre-emptively, suspicious of your dates/prospective dates to heart? Do you ever even question this instinct?

 

 

The date was set up the week of 1/21 and between 1/25 and 2/3, she did not contact me ONCE to say hi. Now all of a sudden the week of the date she says good morning on Monday when she has not said good morning at all the entire month of January.

 

Part of me is thinking of turning my phone off on Friday morning so she can't contact me

 

OR

 

Going on the date anyway and turning it into a fetish meeting which would benefit me.

 

 

Not sure what I want to do yet

[sillyanswer]

The date was set up the week of 1/21 and between 1/25 and 2/3, she did not contact me ONCE to say hi. Now all of a sudden the week of the date she says good morning on Monday when she has not said good morning at all the entire month of January.

 

I think you're right to recognise that something isn't quite right... but from what I've read I'd be more worried about her communication style and frequency than about her wanting to change the time of the date.

[strawberryshortstack]

Asking can we meet up earlier than 9:30pm just sounds fishy to me.

 

I have never gone on a date at 9:30 pm...that's a really late start.

 

Maybe something has come up and she has to be up early in the morning, and doesn't want to be out too late?

 

Or maybe she just doesn't want to get too comfortable at home before she goes out, but I'm leaning towards her just not wanting to get such a late start.

 

Think of it this way...if you're going to dinner, and haven't decided where yet, you pick her up at 9:30, by the time you decide where you're going and get there and get seated, you're looking at ordering at 10 pm - if the kitchen is still open. Figure at least 45 minutes waiting for food and eating it, another 5-10 for the check, it'll be nearly 11 pm by the time you get out of there. Things may work a little differently in Philly, but I'd still say she just doesn't want to get started that late.

[LexiB]

The date was set up the week of 1/21 and between 1/25 and 2/3, she did not contact me ONCE to say hi. Now all of a sudden the week of the date she says good morning on Monday when she has not said good morning at all the entire month of January.

 

Part of me is thinking of turning my phone off on Friday morning so she can't contact me

 

OR

 

Going on the date anyway and turning it into a fetish meeting which would benefit me.

 

 

Not sure what I want to do yet

 

Do you mean you guys spoke but she never *initiated* contact during that time (a little over a week, btw - hardly "the entire month of January"), or that NEITHER ONE OF YOU bothered to reach out to the other? Those lovely "good morning" texts work both ways, you know.

[PhillyDude]

Do you mean you guys spoke but she never *initiated* contact during that time (a little over a week, btw - hardly "the entire month of January"), or that NEITHER ONE OF YOU bothered to reach out to the other? Those lovely "good morning" texts work both ways, you know.

 

 

I was doing all the contacting. Now she did return my calls after she saw my number but didn't initiate contact on her own.

[LexiB]

I was doing all the contacting. Now she did return my calls after she saw my number but didn't initiate contact on her own.

 

Hmm, there's so many variables at play here. Look, you havent seen each other since 2011 when you poofed on her after 5 dates. You may have your reasons for doing that, but thats huge and likely still on her mind. The fact that she agreed to go out with you again is a positive sign of interest. I normally dont make excuses for someone who never initiates conversation - male or female-, but in this case, she may just be exercising caution after the way you fell off last time. Making you work a bit.

 

As far as making the date earlier, I wouldn't read anything into that at all. Sounds completely legit and reasonable to do now that she's off of work. I would have done the same thing.

 

In other words, RELAX. Go out, have fun, be respectful and see what happens. You got a second chance with a girl you obviously liked enough to still be thinking about 2 years later. Don't nuke it obsessing over petty bs this early.

Edited February 7, 2013 by LexiB

[PhillyDude]

Hmm, there's so many variables at play here. Look, you havent seen each other since 2011 when you poofed on her after 5 dates. You may have your reasons for doing that, but thats huge and likely still on her mind. The fact that she agreed to go out with you again is a positive sign of interest. I normally dont make excuses for someone who never initiates conversation - male or female-, but in this case, she may just be exercising caution after the way you fell off last time. Making you work a bit.

 

As far as making the date earlier, I wouldn't read anything into that at all. Sounds completely legit and reasonable to do now that she's off of work. I would have done the same thing.

 

In other words, RELAX. Go out, have fun, be respectful and see what happens. You got a second chance with a girl you obviously liked enough to still be thinking about 2 years later. Don't nuke it obsessing over petty bs this early.

 

 

 

It may not be a date after all because it is supposed to be a snowstorm in philly on friday

 

Now the backup option would be to have a "indoor date" if she is up to it

[serial muse]

The date was set up the week of 1/21 and between 1/25 and 2/3, she did not contact me ONCE to say hi. Now all of a sudden the week of the date she says good morning on Monday when she has not said good morning at all the entire month of January.

 

Part of me is thinking of turning my phone off on Friday morning so she can't contact me

 

OR

 

Going on the date anyway and turning it into a fetish meeting which would benefit me.

 

 

Not sure what I want to do yet

 

This didn't answer my question, though.

[PhillyDude]

Just an update

 

She sent me a text this morning saying..."we may have to cancel due to the snowstorm that is scheduled for tomorrow evening"

 

 

I can't argue with that, no way am I interested in going out on a cold rainy and snowy night

[Balzac]

Thank You NEMO?

[PhillyDude]

You went dutch on a date with a woman? What kind of a man child are you? From now on I am going to envision you as a six foot five oaf in a diaper sucking his thumb!!!!!!!!!!!! Learn how to treat women and you will yield success.

 

 

We went dutch once because I lost my job

[outsidethebox]

Philly, gotta hand it to you, you can really create the controversial threads.

 

I can't believe what you do you call dating.