This girl agreed to go out with me on Friday but wants to see me right after work????

[melodymatters]

Relax, and judge her for HER, based on her actions on the first date. I, for one, would not accept a 9:30 pm Friday night date, because I would feel like an after thought, not to mention I agree, I don't want to go home, freshen up my lip stick and then SIT THERE for four hours.

 

Ooooooh, she might want a free dinner. Setting up a 9:30 date COULD tell ME you are cheap, trying to get out of buying me dinner, and want to make it later after you go out with your REAL GF, to maybe get a piece on the side for dessert.

 

Assumptions are stupid.

[Balzac]

She should be a dating pro. Asking her out for 9:30. absent a specific mention of dinner, implies desserts n dessert drinks. It could imply other entertainment if course but she's experienced enough.

 

I'm not saying you should cancel. What I'd consider is where you'd consider taking her, offer a time adjustment and there you have it.

I mean I can see a movie as that precludes conversation until drinks after!

 

I mean Ive spent time in Philly but mostly Center City. Or very closely in that area.

 

I think this is a tough call. You may have had an obligation earlier. Client meeting or anything else.

[PhillyDude]

She should be a dating pro. Asking her out for 9:30. absent a specific mention of dinner, implies desserts n dessert drinks. It could imply other entertainment if course but she's experienced enough.

 

I'm not saying you should cancel. What I'd consider is where you'd consider taking her, offer a time adjustment and there you have it.

I mean I can see a movie as that precludes conversation until drinks after!

 

I mean Ive spent time in Philly but mostly Center City. Or very closely in that area.

 

I think this is a tough call. You may have had an obligation earlier. Client meeting or anything else.

 

 

Why do you say she should be dating a pro?

[Keenly]

Once again Philly dude is taking something and morphing into something completely different,/ unrelated. How can she possibly be using you.... what is she using you fjust suck it up and go out with her... I feel like you are looking for excuses to bail.

[Balzac]

At the age of 30 she's lived through high school dating. College dating and had at the minimum 8 years of dating professional adults. Unless she's new to Philly she knows every venue. That's what I mean.

 

It's not a pejorative. It's establishing that she's not 23, new degree, just arrived in city for her first big girl job.

[PhillyDude]

I guess I should be only concerned if she makes a "suggestion of where to go"?

[Balzac]

Hah! This isn't a right OR wrong situation. IF you hold a high interest level in her, she's basically telling you that Fri nights are out of her ability to function beyond 11pm. That's my read. You asked for a Fri date, she accepted. I'm unclear when you established the 9:30 time.

 

Lets pick it up from there okay?

[PhillyDude]

Hah! This isn't a right OR wrong situation. IF you hold a high interest level in her, she's basically telling you that Fri nights are out of her ability to function beyond 11pm. That's my read. You asked for a Fri date, she accepted. I'm unclear when you established the 9:30 time.

 

Lets pick it up from there okay?

 

 

Two weeks ago when I asked her out and agreed on 2/8 she said cool but can it be late?

 

And I was like......Ok, that's fine and she said 9:30pm or 10pm. So today she asked are we still on for Friday and then says......"Can it be earlier?"

 

So that's why it's doesn't seem right

[clia]

This is hysterical. Seriously, you are way too paranoid.

 

You suggested 9:30 for dinner? I would starve to death. Who eats dinner that late? There is nothing at all weird about her asking to meet up earlier.

 

She claims if she goes home she may not come back out

 

I totally get this. I vastly prefer to go out right after work on weeknights. I hate having a couple hours to kill in between work and going out. It's way too tempting to change into comfy clothes and chill out on my couch. Then the last thing I want to do is go back out -- especially during the winter.

[PhillyDude]

This is hysterical. Seriously, you are way too paranoid.

 

You suggested 9:30 for dinner? I would starve to death. Who eats dinner that late? There is nothing at all weird about her asking to meet up earlier.

 

 

 

I totally get this. I vastly prefer to go out right after work on weeknights. I hate having a couple hours to kill in between work and going out. It's way too tempting to change into comfy clothes and chill out on my couch. Then the last thing I want to do is go back out -- especially during the winter.

 

 

I just didn't think she wanted to see me in my work clothes, well my tie will be off of course

[Keenly]

His next thread will be " she tried to take off my pants so I left her because she was using me for sex."

[coffeebean201]

She sounds moderately interested.

 

She also sounds like she has a lot of expectations both of herself and the experience.

 

Without being too rigid, try to be the steady guy and don't give into everything she wants. Maybe bring a little early Valentine's gift (something she can take to work).

 

Women her age can be really judgmental. Don't take any of it personally. Hope you have a great time!

[PhillyDude]

Maybe she in fact does have a another Online Date planned in case you don't work out. It has happened before. I have seen it happen.

 

We know each other already. We went out 5 times in 2011 and then I stopped calling her when I lost my job

 

I sent her a text in dec of 2012 to see if she would respond and she did and this is our first time seeing each other since 2011

[Balzac]

Two weeks ago when I asked her out and agreed on 2/8 she said cool but can it be late?

 

And I was like......Ok, that's fine and she said 9:30pm or 10pm. So today she asked are we still on for Friday and then says......"Can it be earlier?"

 

So that's why it's doesn't seem right

 

Right is rather a loaded word. At this point you have the opportunity to meet her for a meet n greet for drinks. If you've got further interest, add an activity or call it a night. You're feeling flexible enough to give her a chance OR not. This is totally within your control. Does she work in Germantown?

I'm guessing you work in CC?

 

This is worthy of a discussion but getting you to realize that you hold total control seems to be at issue.

[Divasu]

So that's why it's doesn't seem right

 

Soooooo, again. How about doing something else besides dinner? That way, if she does intend to use you, you will have not dished out any money.

 

Win Win.

[PhillyDude]

Right is rather a loaded word. At this point you have the opportunity to meet her for a meet n greet for drinks. If you've got further interest, add an activity or call it a night. You're feeling flexible enough to give her a chance OR not. This is totally within your control. Does she work in Germantown?

I'm guessing you work in CC?

 

This is worthy of a discussion but getting you to realize that you hold total control seems to be at issue.

 

 

She doesn't work in a set area because she travels to see Clients

[PhillyDude]

Soooooo, again. How about doing something else besides dinner? That way, if she does intend to use you, you will have not dished out any money.

 

Win Win.

 

 

Any suggestions?

[Divasu]

Any suggestions?

 

You're the one that is worried about being used. Figure it out and pick something else to do.

[TheZebra]

The amount of paranoia in the OP's post is too damn high...

 

Keep this up and you'll be single forever. Not just because you'll never be able to settle down with a woman, but because no woman likes a paranoid man. If you're like this now, it makes me shudder to think of what you're like in a relationship.

 

"Where were you last night? What were you doing? Who were you with? You came home at 10pm and when I called your best friend's cousin's dog she said you left her house at 9:30 and it only takes 15 minutes to get home, WHAT MAN ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH???"

 

[intknight]

Dude,don't you think 9.30PM is too late for a dating? You are telling her you want have sex at 11.00PM.

[PhillyDude]

First time meetings shouldn't be dinner, dinner can be awkward if there is no chemistry. You are basically stuck with the person for like an hour or more. Drinks are easy in case she doesn't look like her pics.

 

 

It's not a 1st date. We are seeing each other again after going out 5 times in 2011. I stopped calling her when I lost my job

[Divasu]

We went out 5 times in 2011 and then I stopped calling her when I lost my job

 

Sigh. I'm sure she trusts you just about as equally based on the above.

 

Next time, save your money instead of phone bills for all those women you meet online in exchange for "cuddles".

[PhillyDude]

Dude,don't you think 9.30PM is too late for a dating? You are telling her you want have sex at 11.00PM.

 

How u figure that?

[Balzac]

Ok so you've established that you've got ongoing interest. Now your decision is to determine your comfort w flexibility.

With that comes what activity you find to be desirable. As I mentioned previously, movie but in my experience that precludes conversation until after.

[PhillyDude]

What reignired the spark. Well my question is who re-initiated contact ?

 

 

I did, I started thinking about her and sent her a text in December.