Pyro Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 It's because it shows that they can handle peace and contentment without finding it boring and needing to start some drama. That can't be determined by normal dates or hanging out at the house or just talking?
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 different environment, different behavior. Staying home, talking around the house is one aspect, but people get to read you, you're in your comfortable environment, that you like and appreciate so you might integrate them in this "safety zone". You get to know someone when you see how they react in different situations and various environments, such as: - How is he when he is with his friends? how about my friends? - How about with his single boys ? how about with my single gfs? - How about his family? how about my family? - Me and his work colleagues? Me and my work colleagues? - Any efforts to integrate, efforts to get to know the people I care for, make a good long lasting impression? - Any efforts to please me, get to know me? - How does he react when I get a promotion? How about when he gets a promotion? - how about stress - huge pressure at work? will he still keep his commitments then? is he acting reasonable or turns into a Godzilla and i'm left to fend for myself? - what about when he's sick? does he expect me to drop everything and cook chicken soup? how about when I'm sick, is he reliable and ready to help? yup, holidays behavior is important, but real life... that can be tough too! 1
Pyro Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 different environment, different behavior. Staying home, talking around the house is one aspect, but people get to read you, you're in your comfortable environment, that you like and appreciate so you might integrate them in this "safety zone". You get to know someone when you see how they react in different situations and various environments, such as: - How is he when he is with his friends? how about my friends? - How about with his single boys ? how about with my single gfs? - How about his family? how about my family? - Me and his work colleagues? Me and my work colleagues? - Any efforts to integrate, efforts to get to know the people I care for, make a good long lasting impression? - Any efforts to please me, get to know me? - How does he react when I get a promotion? How about when he gets a promotion? - how about stress - huge pressure at work? will he still keep his commitments then? is he acting reasonable or turns into a Godzilla and i'm left to fend for myself? - what about when he's sick? does he expect me to drop everything and cook chicken soup? how about when I'm sick, is he reliable and ready to help? yup, holidays behavior is important, but real life... that can be tough too! When you say it like that then it makes the vacation time even less important.
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 to me, vacation time is important because it's about how I choose to spend my "me time". No matter how tired or destroyed I am, I could never just lay on a beach for 2 weeks. To me that is hell and will make me very very unhappy. I want to use my "me time" to travel, to discover new cultures, to be a bit more spiritual, to think, to experience new people, new ways of living, new sorts of food and tastes, because this is what makes me richer, it's what makes me tick. And we all have a very very limited free time... someone who spoils that with jealousy fits, or any other sort of scenes, someone who expects to be pleased (by myself of the others) can just .... I don't know, stay home, I guess. Finding a good partner for the adventure ahead, though, sharing an amazing sunset on the top of a mountain, bathing at night in the ocean, after a long day outside, that is priceless.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Not completely related, but I am quite anxious over how my trip to LA/NYC will go with my best friend. We will be sharing bedrooms and spending 24/7 together for almost 4 weeks. We have never spent so much time together, hope it doesn't end the 9 year friendship We only ever had couple of small fights during that time.....so, perhaps it will go well. With my ex, we fought everywhere including vacations. But the truth is, even before vacations, even before living together, we had some huge, blow out fights (including breaking up). So yeah, the signs were always obvious.
Els Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Not completely related, but I am quite anxious over how my trip to LA/NYC will go with my best friend. We will be sharing bedrooms and spending 24/7 together for almost 4 weeks. We have never spent so much time together, hope it doesn't end the 9 year friendship We only ever had couple of small fights during that time.....so, perhaps it will go well. Wow, I'd certainly agree that 4 weeks in the same room together is a bit of a test. That's pretty close to living together - you need to really be tolerant of each others' daily habits, have to cope with lack of personal space, etc. When people say 'vacation' I'm usually thinking anything between a few days to 2 weeks, though.
Pyro Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Not completely related, but I am quite anxious over how my trip to LA/NYC will go with my best friend. We will be sharing bedrooms and spending 24/7 together for almost 4 weeks. We have never spent so much time together, hope it doesn't end the 9 year friendship We only ever had couple of small fights during that time.....so, perhaps it will go well. If I were you I would make a list of extra places to see and things to do so in case you two get on each others nerves you can go do your own thing to give each other a break from one another. Worst case scenario planning.
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I wouldn't put it quite this way. Agree on a to do list together and every other day, plan for some time apart, like an afternoon or a morning, so that you don't OD over each other. It'll go great, you'll see!
Art_Critic Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Vacations are the times when to celebrate good times in a relationship. Unless you have kids, then a vacation is something that you have to take after being on vacation with your kids. 1
ltjg45 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I probably go on a vacation expecting a problem to appear at some point and being prepared for it as best as I can. It always tend to happen that way. A problem-free vacation? Does those even exist?
TheGuard13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 This must be why my wife and I got divorced...because during our last vacation together, a bear came in through the window.
Author Woggle Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 In my case it was when we first arrived in Miami and I asked her what she felt like for dinner before we hit the town and told me to decide so I decided on a place that looked good. The days after she was really pissed at me because I didn't decide on another place she was eyeing up that I was magically supposed to guess was where she wanted to eat. We decided to try the place she wanted and we were eating at an outside table when all of a sudden she starts screaming at me at the top of her lungs that I only did this to pacify her and that I am only trying to get out of facing her righteous anger. I paid the check so we could get out of there and then right near the beach she starts screaming at me again so loud her voice was getting hoarse and was trying to get other women to join and take her side but they looked at her like she was a lunatic. I should have ended it right there when we got home.
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 bloody hell, man, that's terrible, how traumatic... did she ever apologize? or try to explain? are you telling us the whole story or she was pissed at you for another reason than the restaurant picking?
Author Woggle Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 bloody hell, man, that's terrible, how traumatic... did she ever apologize? or try to explain? are you telling us the whole story or she was pissed at you for another reason than the restaurant picking? That was the main reason and she never apologized. In fact she still held a grudge through the entire marriage which just went downhill from there. We are divorced now and she is in prison for robbing a donut shop. I am married to a great woman who is nothing whatsoever like her.
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 well, I am sorry to hear you went through all this drama, sorry to hear your first wife wasn't everything you expected or wanted her to be. don't mean to be rude, but it's a bit funny that she tried to rob a donut shop... was it the vanilla donuts she was after ? Or chocolate?
Author Woggle Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 well, I am sorry to hear you went through all this drama, sorry to hear your first wife wasn't everything you expected or wanted her to be. don't mean to be rude, but it's a bit funny that she tried to rob a donut shop... was it the vanilla donuts she was after ? Or chocolate? I don't know. She was dating some guy who was a convicted criminal and they decided to go on a crime spree and the first place they hit was somewhere that cops love to frequent. The logic escapes me. 1
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 that is the most hilarious post of the day !!! A place that the cops love, OMG !!! Good thing cops don't like ice cream, imagine them robbing the ice cream man!
Mrlonelyone Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Oh my God Woggle I am so soo sorry for you. The sex has to have been crazy-hot. HIMYM Special - The Hot/Crazy Scale [3.05] on Vimeo
iris219 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 For my BF and I, our vacation was a sort of test because I don’t like vacations. I hate traveling. By the second day, I’m entirely homesick and trying to book an early flight home. I miss my bed and my dog, and I just get sad. I want to be home. I also need alone time, so not being able to get away from someone stresses me out. We spent four days cooped up together, after only dating for a few weeks. Neither of us was sure what to expect, but we had a fantastic time. I didn’t want to get away from him at all; in fact, it was hard to leave the house we rented and do stuff. That was totally unlike me. The vacation showed how truly compatible we are and I’m not sure we would have decided to move the relationship forward so quickly if it hadn’t been for the awesome time we had together. We both agreed it was the best vacation we've ever had.
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