quite.foolish Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Started my new job today.. 20miles from where both her and I live. I finished the day, walked out the main gates to cross the road and who drives past? Yep.. you guessed it. 20miles from home, at that specific moment in time, she's driving past. What the hell? I just want to talk to her again.. I want her to listen to me, to understand that yea, I had bad intentions sayin nasty sht when I was angry, I had bad intentions when I messaged her ex-bfs, I can't excuse that. I should have controlled my emotions and done something better. Everything else though, the umpteen messages, the drunken visits to her house was all confusion, trying to talk to friends of hers- that also used to be friends of mine- I had no bad intentions what-so-ever with that sht, and that's the stuff that really seemed to screw it up. To push her to thinking I would actually be capable of something more than writing stupid angry words.. Fk, I hate myself for acting that way. Not only have I lost the girl I love more than anyone else in this freakin life I've had, but I freakin scared her!! W.T.F!? I just wish she'd hear me out. What the hell can I do to get her to do that? I don't want to live another 70years remembering that I couldn't convince the girl I love most to just hear me out!
Brit Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 All you mentioned are major deal breakers, if I were her I would be frightened of you. Should you get counselling and change is the only way I would see her maybe giving you a chance, by talking.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 All you mentioned are major deal breakers, if I were her I would be frightened of you. Should you get counselling and change is the only way I would see her maybe giving you a chance, by talking. Meh, I say cut the guy a little slack. Saying hurtful things to your significant other, having drunk episodes, and even talking sh*t to their ex's are not extremely rare occurrences in relationships. Signs that things aren't working, yes. But unheard of, or definite cause for fear/alarm, no. I know men are typically more physically capable/powerful, but it's worth pondering : if a female said she had said angry, mean things to her boyfriend, had incidents while drinking, and talked sh*t to his ex's, what would that mean ? Should her boyfriend draw the conclusion that his physical well-being was threatened ? Maybe some would say yes but I think most would say something like "she's insecure and has some issues, that shouldn't be happening in a healthy relationship." Which is my take on this situation, as with the info given, I'd prefer to give the OP the benefit of the doubt. And not assume that bad, immature behavior equates to potential for physical violence.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Once during a heated argument I yelled hurtful **** at my ex and kicked a hole in the wall. We broke up for a spell, during which she said she was "scared of me". Then she initiated us getting back together, after which she admitted she hadn't "actually" been scared of me, and never doubted that I would never hurt her. But that she had simply been taken aback by hearing me say such intentionally hurtful sh*t about her character, etc. To this day, over a year later (and after healing then again losing that relationship), I am ashamed and deeply regret having said those things. But having kicked the wall- don't care- doesn't linger on my conscious. That was an act of anger and frustration, the thought of physically hurting her would never occur to me. But the sh*t I said was meant to hurt. That's what I regret.
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