OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Before I start I know I'm a complete plonker but please listen to this story. I broke up with my ex on boxing day, I found a text which I thought strange. Anyway turns out the guy had recently become a dad and it wasn't what I thought. I madly want her back, she's the love of my life, after attempting t get back with her she rejected and said she needed time, also moved out as did I asap. So since then its been over a month of constant contact intiated by her on every occasion. We have met up, had the best laughs and been very intimate, tbh the sex is better than ever. She constantly tells me she's in love with me and that we'll get bak in the long run, admitting yesterday that it can work. After seeing her the other day she asked me over friday night and Saturday night (busy both times). She mentioned meeting up thurs and sat this week. But she asked if would like to go out on valentines, to which I said yes. The biggest SURPRISE was she asked to lend 6k for a house on sunday, saying its for us in the long run, wowzer (I said yes but shes not sure about buying it). Since our break up I've been doing loads of social stuff and have the oppurtunity to move to australia in the summer with my best mate (last chance saloon as im going on 31 soon). Once I said this to her she wanted to come and kicked off that I would rather go with him than her (it had been one of our plans to do). What should I do, are these signals indicating she wants me or is she stringing me along? I really do love her and miss the lil tyke more than anything. Please help
williamshakespeare Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 She asked you for 6k you agreed to give it to her? That sounds very fishy to me. Everything else sounded promising until I read that What would have happened if you'd said no to the 6k? Its a shame that you can't separate the 2 issues. Most people are probably going to think you're being 'played'. How about you find a way to politely say no to the 6k (or defer it for a while) and see how she acts? Good luck!
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Well tbh I wouldn't let her have it without a solicitors letter and legal pack etc. She could be testing me but she could also be getting me to buy a house with her? not sure which one
williamshakespeare Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 As you and I both know Oscar - just because you have the solicitor's letter - that doesn't guarantee you're gonna get the money back anytime soon. But maybe you can put a lien on the property for it, which would reduce your risk. I guess it goes down to basic cost/benefit analysis then ie what you're willing to risk for the ultimate reward of getting her back (which obviously isn't a certainty).
Chi townD Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Trying to get back with you or stringing you along, it's hard to say. But, I don't think that you two are even strong enough or on even ground enough to lend her 6K. That's a LOT of scratch!
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 But consider this gents. She' a very honest young lady, one of my friends recently described her as constantly talking about me. In our time together she has failed to get me to move to this little village of hers as she wants to be next to her family. I would say that it was her main objective. However stick the 6k aside as she probably was testing me. what do u think, has this cuckoo flown the nest or what?
cdt76 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 First off, easy solution to the money thing. Tell her no, that if it's a house together then you should have some input into what house, where and how much. It's a mutual decision that two people make TOGETHER. Now if she wants a house to move into on her own where she can have her "space" forget it. She will get the house and you will be off in la la land minus 6K! She can rent for now or move back in with you and then the house issue can be worked out together in the future. Second. If she moves back in and you two work on the relationship, then yeah, I say cancel the trip and go with her. My guess is after you turn down giving her the money, she won't be around with to go to Australia anyway. 1
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Very true, I mean I do love her but I can't help thinking that going to australia may allow me to experience something different. I.e from past experience of travel I've not done too bad with the ladies and I rekon I need to see others to see how important this young gal really is. On the other hand this could be the best chance I have with marriage, she asked me all the time about prposing. I mean im 30 going on 31 soon and although I'm a regular clubber again now I just can't be bothered to talk to women, shes still in my thoughts.
williamshakespeare Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Putting the money aside - this is a tough one. I'm probably going to get grief for suggesting this but.............. is there any way you can do your trip to Aussie land in the summer and yet at the same time, keep the relationship 'on ice'? ie keep your options open. I wouldn't settle with this chick if there's any uncertainty in your mind. 31 is not thaaaaat old....haha Seriously though you still have time on your side - I'd rather marry the right woman at 38 than the wrong one at 31.
flitzanu Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 i'm just curious what this "text" was that you read, that she said was misinterpreted. what did it say?
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 In reply to mr shakespeare she has recently said she'd wait for me if i went to aussie, i dont believe that one bit. Today Ive had zero contact as i wait for her to intiate. I may move on but still feel crap about things a month after. but why would she want to go out on valentines? thts for lovers??? Now going back to the other point the text said something along the lines of ' i need to see you, or I cant wait to see you' he works with her and I believe his wife to be paranoid about the situation too. My ex indicatd he was having a bad time and confided in her but I smell a rat. My reltionship has been on the slide ever since november when I told her id never move to where she was from as i rent properties in my area, i also told her to go off with him, hmmm this might be dodgy. cheers guys this is good to discuss as I dont talk to my friends about this at all.
cavalier99 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 If you think you are being strung along you are. She is either in a committed relationship with you..and you will feel that you are her guy 100 percent or she isn't. And vise versa. You have every right to be super cautious and do your thing. Tell her to decide (you too) or you are out. Just my thoughts. Cav Id probably give her the same advise. Lol 1
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Yeah you could be right here dude, what does this time/space/break thing mean anyway shes obviously having doubts. Something is definately rotten in denmark here. I know they say love is blind, but i see the way she looks at me. I have encountered nothing like it, the touching th orgasms the hugging its weird (and that was on last thursday. Since then shes asked me out twice then intends to come up this weekend to c her friend and see me. It looks to me likes she coming to this friends party we hav on and has timed things right as shes knows ill be there. I'm confused beyond belief.
williamshakespeare Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Oscar, First thanks for quoting good ole William on my behalf.... Joking aside ..............my question to you is can you try detaching yourself a little from this situation and go along for the ride? See where it leads? I mean why force the issue if it doesn't need to be forced? Unless you're in emotional hell that is and need an answer. Sounds like she's testing the waters.....why don't you go along with her for the test ride? Could be that you find out, after spending time with her, that you don't care about her as much as you thought.
flitzanu Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 In reply to mr shakespeare she has recently said she'd wait for me if i went to aussie, i dont believe that one bit. Today Ive had zero contact as i wait for her to intiate. I may move on but still feel crap about things a month after. but why would she want to go out on valentines? thts for lovers??? Now going back to the other point the text said something along the lines of ' i need to see you, or I cant wait to see you' he works with her and I believe his wife to be paranoid about the situation too. My ex indicatd he was having a bad time and confided in her but I smell a rat. My reltionship has been on the slide ever since november when I told her id never move to where she was from as i rent properties in my area, i also told her to go off with him, hmmm this might be dodgy. cheers guys this is good to discuss as I dont talk to my friends about this at all. all i can say dude, that seems like one hell of an overreaction on her part if she made that big of a deal out of you being bothered and questioning the text. flipping out, breaking up, and running away from you doesn't sound like proper behavior from a simple misinterpretation. and it's really easy for girls to lie about texts. it's seriously the WORST. (guys or girls to lie, i should say). i've played that game too often, and you'll never know the truth. but again, personally, that seems quite overstated for her to react that way, if in fact her reaction was just based on you questioning the text. hope that makes sense what i'm saying? 1
williamshakespeare Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 'the lady doth protest too much' If you didn't get to that one or don't recall the translation my friend - google it - applies perfectly to the text situation.
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Rekon I'm going to meet with her Thursday, it'll be the usual mind blowing sex then make me feel ****. She's also asking to see me Saturday but is going out on thw night as am I. She's with two single girls, bet she kisses someone, can I prevent this by giving her mind blowing sex u think? She has a free house next week some I'm gonna pop down. Should I play more hard to get, if so how? In response to the last question, I dumped her twice over Xmas, got back after the first. Think I've genuinely wrecked her feelings. She text me all last night, said she wanted to marry me one day and that I should settle for her. Today I get a text saying I love u. She's confused yes? Help required, thanks for all your input guys.
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Could I possibly play hard to get i.e say that I'm quite happy the way things are going and that its fine till i go away. What u rekon? I did dump her twice in four days, she is prob v hurt and eager to show she won't just jump in.
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