Taramere Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 It's something men do that I've never understood. Fair enough if you really are just platonic friends with a man, but if you're actually dating and he's hoping that things will take a romantic/sexual turn between you why would he scupper it by going on about other women? I remember meeting this guy I seemed to really spark off with. We went on a couple of dates, then he started making quite a lot of commentary about one of my friends (undeniably an extremely attractive woman) which culminated in him suggesting that we both come round to his for dinner. I think he honestly saw himself getting a threesome - ridiculous, bearing in mind that he and I had not gone past the snogging stage. He also mentioned "hot women" quite a bit on the couple of dates we had. She had a boyfriend who she wasn't going to cheat on, and I had an ex boyfriend who I still carried a torch for pushing for us to get back together. I was trying to get over him by dating other people, I'd been genuinely excited about this guy and we'd seemed to click instantly. To go on a date, only to hear all this talk from him about how hot other women were, while an ex I still loved (but was trying hard to get over) was trying to sweet-talk me into getting back together - well, it was obvious how that was going to pan out. When I told him I was getting back with my ex he was incredibly miffed. I remember being the recipient of an email that he forwarded to about 40 people and it was basically a rant about women and "fake friends"....but what on earth did he think was going to happen? I bumped into him again a few years later. He was with this woman who he was apparently living with and right under her nose he started flirting outrageously with me. In some cases you might think that it was a game between them, but it was obvious from her body language that if it was a game between them, it wasn't one she was genuinely into. I reacted by not flirting back, and by paying more attention to her than to him in the conversation we had, but I couldn't help wondering why she would build her life around a guy who extended so little respect to her.
Author Sweeetie Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 He now hasn't contacted me for 6 days, since that lunch we had last Monday. And neither have I contacted him. It seems as though he has indeed disappeared, but I am still unsure about that. For one thing, it is strange that he disappeared when he was just 'one date away' from sexual intercourse with me; something he'd been wanting since the start. (that time that we did go to bed together, we couldn't have penetrative sex because he'd forgotten to buy condoms). I'm thinking that perhaps he has disappeared now because he doesn't want to hurt me. He knows that he will go away after sleeping with me, and now that he's got to know me and see that I'm a nice person he doesn't want to put me through that. It's just a shame because I think he is an amazing person. I like his personality a lot and I really enjoyed our time together. I tried my best to get him to like me but it was not enough for him. It means he is not right for me; he doesn't like who I am. But as I said, I have this uncertainty- I don't know if he does want it to be over or not because he hasn't actually said it. This is going to sound ridiculous but a small part of me is tempted to just text him to know what's going on- whether he does want to end it now or not. It's just that I found him so interesting and I like his personality so much. But that same liking for him will make me get more hurt if I contact him and he replies "I don't really see it working between us". So it might be best to just leave things the way they are.
MyPoutine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 ^^ or worse, he could string you along making you have more hope and then really getting hurt later on. Walk away, it'll hurt less in the long run.
Author Sweeetie Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) ^^ or worse, he could string you along making you have more hope and then really getting hurt later on. Walk away, it'll hurt less in the long run. He wouldn't string me along; he seems to be a genuine and honest person who doesn't hide stuff like that. He's been honest with me so far about the fact that he doesn't want commitment. But it is true that I will get more hurt if I pursue this. The fact that he hasn't contacted me for 6 days proves his lack of interest in me. But to get an absolution, in other words to know whether he does want to see me again or not, I'm inclined to text him. This'll stop me wondering "maybe tomorrow he'll text me?". I'll wait a few more days first though to see if anything happens. Edited February 10, 2013 by Sweeetie
Geiss Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 He is an idiot. That is something you talk about with the guys when you are having a few beers, not to the girl you are seeing. Sounds like he is messing with your head. It's not cool. It's disrespectful. 1
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