Buttercup84 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 So I went on a date on Sunday afternoon with a guy I met online. Before the meetup , we emailed and texted everyday. He even texted me when he was out with his mates at the pub . He asked me for out for lunch and we met up , the date lasted about two hours. He did ask me questions but he talked a lot about his work. I have not felt this nervous with a guy for ages, I could hardly eat my food I had butterflies. Well , he drove me home and just said goodybe and that was it. It is almost 9 pm on Monday and I have not heard a peep. He went from talking all the time to nothing . I do not get it. My photos on my profile are not hiding who I really am , they are very recent too. We have so much in common and I really liked him. But he broke up with his girlfriend early December , so I guess that could be seen as a red flag. Argh ! why is this so hard ?
Author Buttercup84 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Just one.Maybe I am being too dramatic but yeah...
Desensitized Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 So I went on a date on Sunday afternoon with a guy I met online. Before the meetup , we emailed and texted everyday. He even texted me when he was out with his mates at the pub . He asked me for out for lunch and we met up , the date lasted about two hours. He did ask me questions but he talked a lot about his work. I have not felt this nervous with a guy for ages, I could hardly eat my food I had butterflies. Well , he drove me home and just said goodybe and that was it. It is almost 9 pm on Monday and I have not heard a peep. He went from talking all the time to nothing . I do not get it. My photos on my profile are not hiding who I really am , they are very recent too. We have so much in common and I really liked him. But he broke up with his girlfriend early December , so I guess that could be seen as a red flag. Argh ! why is this so hard ? Hey ! We're both in a similar situation it seems, except I'm the guy in my situation haha. Read my thread if you want to see the similarities with our situations: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/371447-lacking-self-control I think you're being overly dramatic (as I was also being) and I think we need to chill. It was just the first 'meetup' or 'date' whatever you want to call it, so I doubt they're too eager to rush into things. Just take your time with it. Wish I could take my own advice haha. Good luck.
Author Buttercup84 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Well , I emailed him and said thanks for the other day etc . He just said thanks , he had a great lunch. Ugh, rejections suck. But I pretty much knew this, since we were talking so much and the nothing. Just hurts.
Eclypse Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Call him and ask him on a date? Some guys need prodding
Els Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Don't beat yourself up over it. Sometimes you just don't feel the spark IRL the way you do online. Doesn't have to have anything to do with how you look. That's why people generally recommend meeting IRL ASAP, for those who started out online. There's always this risk, and it's best you got to it sooner rather than later.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm not seeing where he rejected you? OP try to understand this. Every straight or bisexual man on earth, no matter how good looking, has been the "creep" who won't stop calling or texting too much to some woman. Which if the woman isn't that into you can be calling them just once or twice. He's probably just playing it cool.
Els Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I'm not seeing where he rejected you? OP try to understand this. Every straight or bisexual man on earth, no matter how good looking, has been the "creep" who won't stop calling or texting too much to some woman. Which if the woman isn't that into you can be calling them just once or twice. He's probably just playing it cool. I'm not sure how this makes sense, honestly. Multiple unreciprocated texts are always too much, of course. But one text is only too much if she isn't into you. But why would that stop someone from doing it? It's a great filter, ain't it? Why'd you want a woman who isn't into you? IMO if someone goes from talking 'all the time' to 'nothing' after the first time they meet (and there are no surefire signs of interest during the meeting), it's a pretty safe bet that they're not interested. If he had been worried about sounding needy he would've been worried before their date too.
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 sorry to be crude, date someone else pronto. It'll put things into perspective. I always do this, especially if I really really like a guy and we're only started to go out on dates. If I only see one guy and I have the hots for him, I tend to focus too much on him, read his reactions, if he likes me, obsess a little bit. So my two rules are: 1. Do NOT get physical with the guy I really like 2. See at least another guy in the same time If I get attention from more than the guy I am crazy about, I relax, I have the confirmation I need and focus on seeing if I like him instead of trying to please him or look attractive to him. Crazy, but it works !
Mrlonelyone Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 (edited) I'm not sure how this makes sense, honestly. Multiple unreciprocated texts are always too much, of course. But one text is only too much if she isn't into you. But why would that stop someone from doing it? It's a great filter, ain't it? Why'd you want a woman who isn't into you? The reason that dosen't quite work is because of responses like candie13's. Many women calm up and become nervous around men they really like. Yet they are comfortable and talkative with the man they don't really like. A man can't really take a woman not replying to text as a sure sign of disinterest. That said if the woman never talks back many guys will move on. (That may explain why some women never get the guy they want. They aren't assertive enough to go out and get him. IMO if someone goes from talking 'all the time' to 'nothing' after the first time they meet (and there are no surefire signs of interest during the meeting), it's a pretty safe bet that they're not interested. If he had been worried about sounding needy he would've been worried before their date too. Edited February 4, 2013 by Mrlonelyone
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 The reason that dosen't quite work is because of responses like candie13's. Many women calm up and become nervous around men they really like. Yet they are comfortable and talkative with the man they don't really like. A man can't really take a woman not replying to text as a sure sign of disinterest. That said if the woman never talks back many guys will move on. (That may explain why some women never get the guy they want. They aren't assertive enough to go out and get him. no text or email back, especially if you've contacted him first, is a rejection, irrelevant if it's a man or woman doing the "not responding" trick. As for your last affirmation, yeah, maybe some women don't get the "guy" because they are not assertive enough, but it's always best to play with someone your own level. Some fights are better to not be fought at all... I always trust my instinct, peace of mind over a piece or arse, man! If the guy likes me, he'll take it from there, otherwise, I'm out (fyi, I have been "assertive" once, and boy did I burn my fingers! had major fun, but it sting like a b*tch when it was over ) 1
Els Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 The reason that dosen't quite work is because of responses like candie13's. Many women calm up and become nervous around men they really like. Yet they are comfortable and talkative with the man they don't really like. A man can't really take a woman not replying to text as a sure sign of disinterest. That said if the woman never talks back many guys will move on. (That may explain why some women never get the guy they want. They aren't assertive enough to go out and get him. Where did she say that? I don't see it. At any rate, this isn't applicable to the OP's question, is it? He hasn't sent her any text that even allowed her the option of 'talking back'.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Where did she say that? I don't see it. At any rate, this isn't applicable to the OP's question, is it? He hasn't sent her any text that even allowed her the option of 'talking back'. In which case she needs to talk first and make the first move. The man may think that she dosen't like him.
pbjbear Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Im guilty of doing this too in the past Buttercup, but chill out. Its too soon to tell. Just go with the flow and dont have high expectations. When I did online dating, I only started to invest after 2 months...
Author Buttercup84 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Hi all , Thanks for the comments. He was the one to contact me first on the dating site , and ask me out. So I thought it was weird that there was no contact after the date. Because he pretty much replied right away when I texted before etc. Anyhoo, I wanted to wait and see but got over it. Deep down I knew he was not that into me, so I emailed him and said thank you for the other day, I had a great chat and hope work was alright. He just emailed back "Thanks buttercup , I had a great lunch too " He and I had a lot in common , he is very good looking too. But on our date he hardly asked about myself , and we spoke mostly about his job as a cop. And I paid for lunch...he said he would feel bad but I made a joke and paid. He did said thank you though. I just have to move on, with the right guy I won't be questioning these things.
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