xpaperxcutx Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I cant believe there are girls out there who simply overlook behavior like this and give guys a pass. Makes me wonder why I even try and treat ladies I date well if selfish behavior is rewarded. Jeez. From personal experience, I have met men who have tried to persuade to forgo a condom. For everyone of them, I have profusely declined. Even though sex takes two people, when it comes to my personal safety including my body and my health, I have to be selfish. I have to think about myself first and foremost, and I absolutely would not want to risk a pregnancy or an STD. As for you Kaylan, I hope reading a thread like won't change you into thinking selfish behavior would be awarded. It's more about the fact that sometimes there are girls out there who have low self-esteem and they try to justify certain behaviours to appease people. I have been there and it takes time to grow up and learn from past mistakes. You are a good person and i honestly know you treat women how they should be treated.
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I am not deflecting all the blame on anyone, but I believe that the OP would benefit a lot more by giving up the victim mentality. She can actually control what's happening to her, in the future, and that is the good news. And if I am saying "such a douchebag, I cannot believe this guy, such a manipulative jerk" would make me more popular, but would hurt the OP more on the long run, because I don't want to be encouraging in any way or form the practice of unsafe sex. This is what I would tell my little sister and all my close friends. In my book, she f*cked up majorly, it is not just about herpes here. She is actually lucky that he's only got herpes, I am sure pbjbear can share a lot more convincing horror stories. My point is: "Protect yourself first and foremost", because there are a lot of jerks out there who can promise you the moon and the stars to get you to have unprotected sex and you and you alone will pay for it. I had the right to "I missed you so much, I think I love you" from an ex. I'll spare you the rest of the lies and details, turns out the guy had another gf for 3 months and wasn't using protection with her either! I wish someone would have took me in a corner and shook me out real good! anyway, it's a doggy dog world and bad things happen to good people. The solution is not whining, but accepting your part of responsibility and fighting back. my 2 cents, anyway!
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Even though sex takes two people, when it comes to my personal safety including my body and my health, I have to be selfish. I have to think about myself first and foremost, and I absolutely would not want to risk a pregnancy or an STD. . smart girl!
kaylan Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I am not deflecting all the blame on anyone, but I believe that the OP would benefit a lot more by giving up the victim mentality. She can actually control what's happening to her, in the future, and that is the good news. And if I am saying "such a douchebag, I cannot believe this guy, such a manipulative jerk" would make me more popular, but would hurt the OP more on the long run, because I don't want to be encouraging in any way or form the practice of unsafe sex. This is what I would tell my little sister and all my close friends. In my book, she f*cked up majorly, it is not just about herpes here. She is actually lucky that he's only got herpes, I am sure pbjbear can share a lot more convincing horror stories. My point is: "Protect yourself first and foremost", because there are a lot of jerks out there who can promise you the moon and the stars to get you to have unprotected sex and you and you alone will pay for it. I had the right to "I missed you so much, I think I love you" from an ex. I'll spare you the rest of the lies and details, turns out the guy had another gf for 3 months and wasn't using protection with her either! I wish someone would have took me in a corner and shook me out real good! anyway, it's a doggy dog world and bad things happen to good people. The solution is not whining, but accepting your part of responsibility and fighting back. my 2 cents, anyway! The saying is "Dog eat dog world"
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 The saying is "Dog eat dog world" no, that's how Americans do it! I sort of love dogs, my saying stays: "it's a doggy dog world"!!
veggirl Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 He is on oral meds to prevent breakout and says condoms make him lose sensitivity. So he prefers not.. He's older and has had a vasectomy. Big whoop that he has a vasectomy. He also has an STD!!!!! Sorry but he is a total douche, he let you go down on him knowing this and didn't say anything and now he wants you to let him fk you bareback when he has herpes. :sick::sick: Please have some self-respect and tell him to gtfo!
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Dog eat dog is supposed to convey a brutal image. Vicious. Doggy dog world makes it sound like a Snoop Dog song. I see... to me, "dog eat dog" saying makes me think of that cartoon card with a dog eating a Frankfurter... strange expression!
runningfar Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I probably wouldn't dump a guy for having herpes. I do not think herpes is the end of the world. But I certainly would dump him for not telling me when he knows he has it, And laugh in his face for suggesting sex sans condom anyway. But, in the vein of Candie, don't you worry because a real bitch would have slashed his tires and posted it in Facebook so he didn't trick any other girls into putting themselves at risk unknowingly too. Lose the jerk. (If any guy tried to even suggest, much less encourage, condom free sex before we are both tested clean and exclusive for a while, I would never, ever, ever, ever sleep with him. Deal killer! If he tries it with you he has before and that's risky! 1
runningfar Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Candie, the difference is he knows. It's not a somewhat risk it's a very high risk, and she didn't get full information. If a person with HIV who doesn't know spreads it, it's unfortunate. If a person with HIV who knows spreads it without informing his partner he has it, it's a CRIME. Some have gotten attempted murder. Because while any partner may have HIV, it's not a certainty but one parner knows it is. Herpes isn't HIV but the principal remains, if you know you are putting someone at risk you have to tell. Any reasonable person knows that. Any non sociopath would not choose to not disclose.
ja123 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Dump this loser for not being honest with you and jeopordizing your health. Hes already shown you his needs matter more than your needs or health. I woudlnt put any other forms of lying past this guy since he started the relationship with one. Dump him NOW! I'm not a herpes phobe, but ... I strongly agree with this. He also tried to minimize and negate your feelings and concerns. Think about the implications of being with someone who does that to you! You deserve better treatment. Move on. 1
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