McDonald Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 So last night I was able to motivate myself for the first time on a month to get our and party with my roommates and friends. Everything was going well, I was actually happy! Then we decided to walk down the Main Street where everyone has big parties in the college town, and guess who I run into.... Her and her new boyfriend who she broke up with me for (its been about 4 weeks). I didnt expect to see her because when we wrre dating she hated going out and partying... but now she does with this new guy? that hurts. Not only did I see her, but she stared me down for a good 5 seconds before we past Eachother. Now it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.. But before when I would run into her she would avoid me. Idk. It's just all confusing. I do want to be her friend as she was the first person I met in college, but she was also my first love. What do I do when I run into her again? It is a small town and campus.. So we probably will. Do I smile? Say hi? I do easy to be the better person in the situation, as I am and have done nothing wrong. Eveything was just going so well...
TaraMaiden Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Read the NC guide.... my signature...... 1
Author McDonald Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Thanks for the reply. We have been in NC for about two weeks now. Its just all so hard. I've never kicked anyone out I my life before
TaraMaiden Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I know. It hurts don't it? But read the guide, and know it has a good reputation - because it does work. Look, things aren't always black & white, even I know that - but as a general rule of thumb, the NC guide is right on the button, and sadly more people come back confirming that, rather than proving it wrong. It takes time - how much time, is up to you, because Time isn't the healer, you are. Take care, keep posting, keep 'chatting' with us. We're here......
Dmoney28 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 damn...i know how you feel. i ran into my ex and her boyfriend years ago at a restaurant. Man did that sting. I felt her Icy glare go right through me. the funny thing is i dont even remember his face, even though i was like 3 feet away. Just her glare. I wish i could give you some stellar advice. Just have to let the pain run its course. Stay positive, it will get better over time.
fallenheart Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I seriously think that's one of the worst feelings in the world. When you see or hear from your ex, or even just hear ABOUT them. I hate it...in my case, my stomach does that awful flip-flop thing like it does when I hear someone has died. Just that empty icy feeling and your heart speeds up. UGH. It's why I can't ever be on FB. Just knowing my exes are out there is bad enough, but if I have to hear about how happy and wonderful their lives are, how much better their new boyfriends/husbands are then me....ugh. Even just a mention of them from one of my friends is enough to put me in a black mood. Running into them is a thousand times worse. My advice? Switch schools!!
sadpanda87 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 NC is your best friend if you run into her again - do whatever youre comfortable with. ignore her or smile n walk away. id avoid talking since youre obviously not ready. other than that just move on with life... you'll find youeself caring about her less and less
Author McDonald Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Thanks for the responses everyone it really helps. The stare wasnt even a "icy" glare. It was more like a sympathetic look? I don't want to read into it there is no point. I'm just tired of having good days, feeling like I'm getting over it, then getting shot back down. The NC for three weeks now is definitely making things better. There's just times when I want to text her what she has done. It seems like she's having all this fun, while I'm stuck here. The worst is seeing her doing all these things that I wanted to do with her but while we were dating she said she hated it... It's just all confusing.. And because she was the first person I met in college last year, I feel like I'm also losing all the history of last year. Like it was all for nothing. Everything I worked towards, invested in, was thrown right out the door out of nowhere. I lost a lot of friends during the relationship, and I'm struggling to get them back. She boosted my ego when she told me she liked me (as she was the first to say something like that to me), and it made me open up and plow myself to meet so many people. Now however; it feels like its back to where it was and I'm becoming shy, embarrassed again. And it sucks
KansasChica Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I haven't seen my ex in months, but I definitely get the cold, icy stare from him when I run into him.... and he broke up with me! He avoids me like the plague now. Even several of my friends (who used to be his friends too) get treated like strangers. I think he might have a personality disorder though, so he's painted us all black. It used to upset me, but now I'm like whatever, dude.
Author McDonald Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Too make things worse. She just broke NC yesterday. I guess her seeing me out having fun hit her or something
Author McDonald Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 I haven't. It was the dumbest message. She just said she "saw jack lol." Jacks a mutual friend of our who I introduced to her. What is this? Not even a hey how are you doing... She said it like we have been talking for weeks. She told me she can't take it anymore and that I have to stop talking to her... Then she sends me this? WTF. It's probably because she saw me out having a good time or that ahe nticed im no longer on her fb. ( I deactivated my fb) or something idk. But what ever it is, its just makin it harder for me.
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 No, it's descending into the realms of the ridiculous. You know what you should do... (have I not mentioned this already?) You know - the 'automatic response'...? It's in the NC Guide....? The moment - the instant - you receive a text from her, you respond IMMEDIATELY with: "Your message could not be delivered because the recipient has blocked this number" If she tries again - send it again. Immediately. Once, she may think she's made a mistake, or she can't believe her eyes. the second time is a confirmation. Others tell me they have used it - and it worked.
Author McDonald Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 It's just tough to get myself to fully push he out of my life. I know that will do it. My heart is saying one thing, my head another
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