2sure Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 She doesnt believe in the pill or abortion or abstinance . No problem - thats why many women use diaphragms or IUDs. Condoms as we all know, arent enough. If she will Do nothing to prevent pregnancy while being sexually active - then she wants to get pregnant. 2
Author jrtfrisco Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Thanks Carhill, and everyone else. Good advice all around
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Using two condoms at the same time and using protection properly is an oxymoron. Surely you know better than this. it was actually a joke. if I ever see a guy using two condoms, I'd laugh so hard my neighbors would ask to have me evicted !
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I haven't discussed the IUD/diaphragm idea with her, though I doubt she'd be willing to do that. It seems like the only "wills" is having sex with a condom. Although her thoughts make me nervous (anti-morning after pill and abortion), I respect her thoughts as I recognize that this decision is very serious and unique to each person (in terms of upbringing, culture, religious views, etc.). So I'm not knocking her on her stance, but it's just a little shocking, and most likely a deal breaker for me (especially as I don't see myself wanting to take the relationship to a more serious level). I do think that if you both have very differing views on abortion and even the morning-after pill, and you need intercourse in your R and really cannot afford to have a child now, it might be the wisest decision to move on, yes. Way too many serious incompatibilities here to justify moving forward with a relationship that is just starting off. 1
LittleTiger Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I don't understand the issue here. If she doesn't want children, a diaphragm is a completely non-invasive, non-hormonal, easy to use method. If she doesn't want to get one fitted for some reason, the sponge is a great, over the counter, alternative - both to be used with a condom. I've never been a fan of oral contraceptives or the morning after pill so I can understand her reluctance on that score but she does have alternatives. OP, try suggesting these options and if the answer is still no then perhaps she wants to get pregnant. Condom only is fine if you're in a committed relationship and children wouldn't be a major disaster but for FWB a little more caution is prudent.
BetheButterfly Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 All you can do is try to control yourself. That means wearing condoms, abstaining from sex. Even if a girl says she is taking birth control she might not be taking it right and or it could be ineffective. Also even if she says she would 100% get an abortion once pregnant her choice could very likely change. That's a good point. Also, some guys make the mistake of trusting that a woman can't get pregnant and not using any preventative birth control when they have no desire to have children with her or at that point in time. Sometimes it's possible for a woman who truly believes she can't get pregnant to... get pregnant. I know of a case where a guy thought that this lady who he did not have the desire to have children with could not get pregnant, cause she told him the doctor said she couldn't. They didn't use ANY conception prevention. She got pregnant (which may have been a complete surprise to her) and she had his baby. Maybe some people wish that sex did not involve the possibility of human reproduction, but it does. Human reproduction is a big responsibility and because it's tied to sex, it's important to take into consideration that engaging in sex contains the possibility of producing offspring that ideally are to be loved, nurtured, cherished, and protected. Sometimes prevention doesn't stop life forming; I have even heard of women who have had their tubes tied getting pregnant! Apparently life strives to find a way sometimes to exist.
stillafool Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 She doesnt believe in the pill or abortion or abstinance . No problem - thats why many women use diaphragms or IUDs. Condoms as we all know, arent enough. If she will Do nothing to prevent pregnancy while being sexually active - then she wants to get pregnant. ^^^^^^^ This - OP your best bet to protect yourself from having to pay child support would be to pass on this girl and date someone else who is not interested in getting pregnant right now.
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 If you want to have sex with a woman simply accept the fact children ARE a possibility. Accept the fact that the less birth control methods utilized the higher chance of conception. So the quoted text really isn't "ridiculous", the ONLY way to be 100% sure you aren't having kids is not to have sex... Precisely. The only responsible way to have vaginal intercourse is to acknowledge that there are risks involved, work together to seek to minimize them through multiple methods of contraception, but still understand that there is always, always a chance of pregnancy. It feels to me like some men live in denial of the fact that they CAN end up with a child any time they have intercourse, honestly. Women too, but more so men, because the decision for abortion depends solely on the woman, so women have both greater control and greater responsibility should an accident occur. If you're fine with the (minimal) risks given the types of contraception you use, by all means go for it. If you're NOT fine with the risks... don't. Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of sexual acts that carry zero risk of reproduction - just ask the LGBT community. There's nothing ridiculous about making informed choices like an adult.
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