Mrlonelyone Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Except you know, dignity and respect. How often is persistence mistaken for creepy/clingy/desperate behavior? Very often. If I was being persistent and chasing a woman whom gave me no interest, I would no tonly look like a loser, but she'll probably tell her friends and my social status will be diminished. If she isn't giving me interest, then I NEXT her immediately. "Ain't nobody got time fo dat." It all depends on if the woman eventually decides she likes you. If a woman initially likes a guy, then decides she dosen't like him at a latter date...all those things he did that were so cute, instantly become creepy retroactively.
Bristolius Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 IMO if she says 'no', then it's best to move on ...I think it pays to be persistent if you really like a woman. You lose nothing through persistence, and stand to gain a lot. What makes this even more confusing is that Elswyth is describing Ruby's preference, and Ruby is telling us what Elswyth likes.
TheFinalWord Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Most guys are going to go by their personal experiences. Most guys here that are saying "if she says no, forget it" have probably come to that conclusion via experience (myself included). I know one girl that I pursued hard, always had an excuse, and told me she did not want a relationship at that time. One month later, she was in a relationship. So, most guys that have been stung pursuing, it's natural to want to not go through that experience again. Perpetual rejection ranks somewhere between vasectomy and getting fired from dream job on a man's list of top 10 humbling experiences. However, I have friends that have eventually married women that did not want to date them at first. My pastor at my old church pursued this women for years and she always said no (she was at the dinner table and verified this). One day, her car broke down right in front of the gas station he worked at (ministry doesn't pay much at first). He came out, towed her car and repaired the tire; she said okay to the date out of guilt and she ended up falling in love with him after one date. So there you go The problem with us guys, is that we think logically about this stuff. A + B = C; where A = put name on line and ask her out; B = girls response; C= date or not date. If no, protect your self and stop. If yes, panic and post on LS, receive 1000 things to not do on date and enjoy. Problem is, women don't work this way as emotions are not so easily predicted. Contrary to these PUA pyramid schemes posted on these forums, women can become more receptive to a man over time. It's called game, and it is not all just looks. I don't know how it works exactly (if women could quantify it for us men, it would realllly help), but I've seen enough to know that my n = 2 examples don't exactly encapsulate the entire relationship universe.
Better_Days Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 My rule is any "no" is treated as a "forever no". If it's a ridiculous excuse like "I have to make a sandwich", or "I have to clean that day" or "I have to wash my hair", I write you off forever. Everything else is a case by case basis. But under no circumstances will I ask more than twice. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Somewhat agree, but here is another way of looking at it. Normally, if a girl says no, I would not asked her again just because first denial sucked and just by thinking about 2nd denial, it would suck even more. But then again, girls never give you straight NO answer, it's always confusing ret@rded way of NO so you just have to decide whether you wanna bust your balls once or more
AD1980 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Games are for children..i take no as no but i really mean maybe If someone seems disnterested in me it doesnt make me want them more at all 1
gaius Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 You don't say....very interesting..Do share more of your secrets Gaius. Oh I will. But only if you charge your phone first silly. Except you know, dignity and respect. You aren't the first guy I've heard say that. But let's take another example. If you make an offer on a house or car, the owner turns it down and then you make it again a few months later after seeing it's not sold, are you losing respect or dignity? How about if you reapply to the school of your dreams after you get rejected one year? I don't think so in either case. You're really just working toward what you want. Why is the philosophy so different with women? I'm not suggesting going after a girl that's been disrespectful to you. Maybe one that agreed to a date and never showed up. But saying no in and of itself is not disrespectful. I guess if you feel awful getting rejected, if too much of your self worth is tied up in whether or not a woman will date you, then it's probably a bad idea to keep trying. But if you can get past that it allows for remarkable things to happen. You might end up dating some women you never even dreamed possible. 1
gaius Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I do agree a lot of women think like this. They want average men to try and win them over. To show them they are the best of the lot so to speak. I don't think average looking women should have to be chased by average men. Women who are perhaps 8 or above, yes maybe. But I don't care that much about looks. So I won't do that. What's funny is that I have Facebook open in another window and one of my Facebook friends has for the past few weeks posted updates of him hanging out with this gal who is pretty cute, but not stunning, maybe a 7.5. I almost guarantee he's 'chasing' her. I wouldn't say it applies just to average men. Kate Middleton dumped Prince William because he wasn't giving her enough attention. So he dialed it up, they got back together and now they're married. A lot of women find being chased stimulating. If you don't want to do what a woman finds stimulating because you think it's wrong that's certainly your choice, but when you stimulate a woman she generally stimulates you back. You give a little, you get a little. Good luck keeping one interested when you refuse to stimulate her on the grounds of it being wrong. Do you think that you deserve sexual attention from women for just being yourself? The mere sight of you should be enough to make her rip her panties off and jump into bed? It generally doesn't work like that even for the super hot guys. They still have to have a small amount of game. Good for your friend going the distance. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I wouldn't say it applies just to average men. Kate Middleton dumped Prince William because he wasn't giving her enough attention. So he dialed it up, they got back together and now they're married. A lot of women find being chased stimulating. If you don't want to do what a woman finds stimulating because you think it's wrong that's certainly your choice, but when you stimulate a woman she generally stimulates you back. You give a little, you get a little. Good luck keeping one interested when you refuse to stimulate her on the grounds of it being wrong. Do you think that you deserve sexual attention from women for just being yourself? The mere sight of you should be enough to make her rip her panties off and jump into bed? It generally doesn't work like that even for the super hot guys. They still have to have a small amount of game. Good for your friend going the distance. When I've GOT HER, I'll stimulate plenty. You don't know me dude. I buy great gifts, throw great surprises, and am as sweet as freshly fired creme brulee, despite what everybody here thinks of me. Candlelight homecooked dinners and Freddie Jackson. But I won't chase to get. That's a different thing. That's her saying I got others on my tail, so you have to beat them out. Let the other idiots fight over a pretty face. I'll take the diamond in the rough.
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