Echo000 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Today is day 12 of NC, and I have been feeling a bit angry regarding the ex lately. She put me through hell, and walked away claiming I was the bad guy (I wasnt at all- I did a lot for her and was never unfaithful or abusive). Anyone else have similar experiences? Being a positive influence in a persons life, who comes from a bad background, only to be labeled as the bad guy and let go of? 1
Derpderpleton Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I did a lot for my ex also. When we were together she would tell me how appreciative she was that she had me. How she was "So lucky that I came into her life". She texted me not even a week after our break up, I told her how angry I was because of how I did everything for her to make her happy, literally everything, and she just tossed me aside. She then FREAKED on me! Making it seem like I was the bad guy for bringing that up. So, you're not alone, bro. It's frustrating as hell! Hang in there..
KatZee Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Yup. Story of my life with my ex. I did everything and anything for that kid. Was always good to him. I'm not claiming to be a saint but I was never a bad person to him. I always cared, supported and encouraged him. Loved him, was faithful, giving, I always accomodated him. I went out of my way for him, sacrificed for him, put up with a lot of s.hit from him and his friends. And he's the one that lied constantly, cheated, took advantage, became emotionally abusive. When we were over I had a ton of people just delete me on facebook. People I thought had become my friends. Nope. I was thrown out like garbage by my ex, by members of his family, by his friends. These were people I had relationships with, who had always been like "You make him so happy!" So I know he had to have been telling lies to people, or just making s.hit up so he didn't look like the bad person. I cut that whole thing out of my life. I don't talk to or associate with anyone from my "past life" as I like to call it. There's no need. I'm disgusted with most of them, I hate my ex. I'm so much better off with all of them actually. I was never myself. I was so insecure and always felt like crap around him and those he associated himself with. You're only day 12 of NC. You're going to go through a TON of emotion. For me personally, my anger phase lasted over 2 months. I'm 9 months post break up now and I'm so happy. The thought of him doesn't even bother me. I say I hate him but there's like no emotion behind it. You'll get there.
Author Echo000 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 yuck, that is terrible. Im sorry you had to go through that- but glad you didnt end up with such a bad person. Yeah I was not a saint either, but she once told me that I was "the most beautiful man she ever met" and I really tried being the best I could be for her. I'm at that stage where I am okay sometimes and not okay at others. When I am not okay I have severe anxiety and obsessive thoughts. To be honest, I am still not ready to fully let go. I am trying to get there, but part of me wants there to be a chance in the future (although I will not be contacting her first). I am sure that is natural to feel that way, and I am just trying to not worry about the future. But idk. Any advice on these types of feelings?
cdt76 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I know what you all are going through. I did so much for her and was willing to go all the way. Do whatever was necessary to make her happy and it just wasn't enough. I don't know what day of no contact I'm on but the roller coaster I'm on is awful. I'm so hurt. I'm so broken. I feel sick and disgusted and most of all just like a used tissue she threw out after using it. And feel so hurt because I still love her so f-ing much!!!!
Author Echo000 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 how long were u guys together? Was she your first real relationship or no?
h3braica Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 it's been 5 weeks and 3 days of BU. he broke NC on the 2nd week by email telling me he misses me. Responded and broke NC on the 4th week and blocked his email address. felt better in a few days now, feels like i'm broken again. anger hits me again. all i want to do is punch him on the face. i've wasted 10 yrs waiting for him. proposed a marriage and dumped me. he's happy now with his rebound and i'm still sufferin' like this. it hurts like hell.
SendHope Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I am day 4 of NC but the break has techinically been a week and a half. I'm having the same angry feelings as the OP. I feel like she treated me badly. I was too in love to see it. I'm not saying I'm over her now but now I can see that she never put the effort to see me resulting to us fighting a fair bit (or at least stopped). We broke up because she didn't want to get tied down by me and wanted to have the freedom of doing whatever she wants without worrying about my feelings. After coming to this realization, I just feel angry that she hurt me when all I did was love her.
h3braica Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 After coming to this realization, I just feel angry that she hurt me when all I did was love her. i so relate.
cdt76 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Yeah, tell me about it. I always knew I wanted it more than she did. I always knew I was a crutch for her and when she was better able to stand on her own two feet she would bolt. The problem is that I had hoped loving her would be enough to show her how sincere I was. But when my sincerity turned to reality that she was going to have to move to be with me, she lost it, threw the crutch away and bolted. She is probably talking to a hundred guys and I'm left holding a bag of broken pieces that will probably never be put back together. I don't even know if I want to go through all the hard work of putting myself back together. I mean, for what? Might as well, just be a wreck and not give a s..hit about anyone, like she does. Getting to the age (42) and thinking I might as well just give up with seeking out a relationship. Echo....brother, we feel your pain.
Author Echo000 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 cdt76- dont give up. Good person like you should not live a shattered life, although I know you are shattered now. When we werent together, my ex found out that I had flirted with a couple girls. I had been drunk and she actually saw me flirting and was (understandably upset). But she went over the top. Told me I hurt her so bad, that she could never trust me anymore, that I pretty much would have to spend months trying to win back her trust if I wanted her back. When I asked her why she loved me, you know what she said? "Well, you were sweet in the beginning, and I thought you were different". Ouch. That truly stung. I had done nothing but try to be the best man I could be for her, and show her not all men are bad. Spent almost two years being good to her, and that is how she ended it. Over text and email, btw. After everything, wouldnt even see me in person. I could go on and on, but the point is this: sometimes bad stuff happens. Devastating stuff, stuff that makes you wonder about the point of life (is there even a point?). There are no answers my friend, but know that you did all you could. That you cant change the past, and you cant know what the future holds for you. I am here for you if you need support because I understand what your going through.
Couldntbemoreupset Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I am day 4 of NC but the break has techinically been a week and a half. I'm having the same angry feelings as the OP. I feel like she treated me badly. I was too in love to see it. I'm not saying I'm over her now but now I can see that she never put the effort to see me resulting to us fighting a fair bit (or at least stopped). We broke up because she didn't want to get tied down by me and wanted to have the freedom of doing whatever she wants without worrying about my feelings. After coming to this realization, I just feel angry that she hurt me when all I did was love her. I relate to this so so much
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