Author galt303 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 People think I don't sympathise/understand. But honest, I do. Hugs, be strong. It pays off in the end..... Well, FWIW, I very much appreciate your insight and opinion. Between my friends and this board, I'm going to do everything I can to give her the space she asked for, hope for the best, and, just in case, prepare for the worst.
Author galt303 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Well, we are in our 9th day of agreed NC and the date we set to get back together and talk is one week from tomorrow, so 7 more to go. I have to say, I feel pretty proud that I have made it even this long without breaking down and sending a text or email. Of course, the real credit for that goes to my wise and awesome friends and also reading over and over again here on LS why breaking NC is such a horrible idea. The bookends of my days are definitely the most difficult. Mornings find me a wreck and it takes me a while to get out of the funk - I usually have to call a friend to help me begin the process of snapping out of it (for a while, at least). After that, my day is spent vacillating between confusion, anger, sorrow, longing, wondering, and, foolishly or not, trying to hold onto hope that her insistence that this is merely a break, not a break-up still stands true at the end of our time apart. Evenings find me trying to spend time with friends to keep myself occupied and, unfortunately, drinking more than normal by myself if not with others. Then, of course, I fall even deeper into the funk and fall asleep with a very heavy heart. Start the cycle over the next day. This morning, however, I woke with a feeling of resolve instead of despair - not exactly sure why but I'll take it where I can get it. Sadly, it faded after a bit and I felt even worse than I had mornings prior. Oh well, gives me something to hope for tomorrow. I have been thinking a lot about the very beginning of our relationship when things seemed like they were moving pretty quickly and decided to take a few days apart. It was what we both needed to decide that we really did want to move forward and we have been fairly inseparable ever since (until recently, of course). Maybe those thoughts are permeating my psyche and giving me hope/resolve that this is the right thing for us to do no matter how miserable it makes me right now. Of course, all of this is purely academic as I know it's probably more realistic to expect that I'll end up unwillingly single on the other end of this. Either way, I'm really glad I found this site! I really do think it's helping me muddle through this. Thanks!
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