augustana Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Its been months since the worst day of my life and I still feel just as bad as I did then. We had been together for several years. In the beginning, he was everything I wanted. I thought we were so in love. I thought I found the one I would be spending the rest of my life with. We had plans to wed in the winter. But then everything changed and an alternate if not his true personality began to manifest its ugly head. He cheated on me for months, during which he treated me horribly. When he finally told me, he left ME because he wanted to pursue casual sex with other women and continue his casual relationship with the girl he had cheated on me with. I found out through social media and word of mouth from friends that he states that he is the happiest hes ever been at this moment in time. Wealth, success, good looks, female "friends" that love him, great experiences, and a new girl in his bed every week. I wouldnt be surprised if he was thankful to have left me. I just can't help but think how unfair the situation is. Throughout the relationship I treated him as best as I could. I tried to be the best partner. And I truly believe I was in every way. When I first met him he was broken and sad on account of his previous relationship. I helped him get through it . I gave him all of me, constantly tried to spoil him. And in the end it seemed like I was no more than a rebound. Still the worst thing is, I want him back. I wish he would want me back. I feel broken and shattered and violated. I don't think Im capable of putting myself back together again. I am haunted by the painful memories, the false promises, and the knowledge of his existence out there with other women. I am a strong individual--despite what the above may betray. But even in my attempts to move on and forcibly tell myself that I am better off and try to start new relationships, there are these memories and this overwhelming emotion that serves to cripple me in every way, shape and form.
TaraMaiden Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Are you still in touch? do you speak to each other, or see each other, still?
iouaname Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I am so sorry augustana Happiness isn't a permanent state -- he might be happy right now, but that doesn't mean that he will be forever. And most importantly, you won't be unhappy forever, either. ::hugs:: 1
Mcnulty Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I would focus on the fact he cheated on you, now think of being back together with him...would you be happy? You may be ar first, (wanting what we can't have is human nature I guess), BUT in time, you would be insecure, checking up on him, looking over your shoulder and would become extra sensitive to anything that went wrong in the relationship, it would cause you untold anxiety and destroy you self esteem....do you want this for your future??....you know the answer. 1
KatZee Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Sounds like my last relationship. My ex was all upset and miserable in life and I helped him get through it. I thought we had this great love and we'd be engaged and live happily ever after. Turns out he was just as phony as yours. A constant liar. Cheating on me with his ex. I was nothing more than a rebound as well. I will never in my lifetime ever believe he loved me despite things he said. I will never look back on him and recall good memories or an amazing love. It was nothing but deceit, lies, and shady behavior. You need to get past the current emotions and get angry. Feel the anger from what he's done. That is the ONLY EMOTION at this point that will propel you forward. How can you want this piece of s.hit back? Let him be a disgusting f.uck, screwing whatever loose girl will spread her legs. Let me tell you, Karma never loses an address and he WILL get what's coming. All you're seeing is the act he's performing right now. Just like how your relationship with him was an act, what he's doing now is an act. I wouldn't doubt for one second that underneath his facade he is a deeply broken, insecure, unhappy, and lost little person. I know beyond a doubt that's exactly what my ex. He has no clue how to handle problems, nor how to solve them, so he uses people, acts impulsively, makes terrible choices. The only way you're going to start moving on is through anger. Realize what he is. See what he truly is. Stop living in the past and stop idealizing him. Take him off the pedestal you have him on. You're not in love with someone real. You're in love with the idea of him, you're in love with someone you thought he was. He is not that person. He's trash. He's horrible. He's a user, a liar, a cheater. He's not running off into the sunset with an incredible woman, nor is he living some amazing rockstar life. These types of people can't run from themselves. 3
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