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How do i cope if my boyfriend is a virgin?


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Posted

we have been dating for 6 weeks or so and every thing is going great but i never dated a guy that is sensitive . One thing is he is little reserved and quiet around me some times. The only thing is that he is less experienced with the physical aspects of relationships than I am. I have done pretty much everything following that. I am not saying that it is a bad thing that he hasn't experienced those things yet it’s just that i want to move forward with the physical side of our relationship now.

 

it took him quite a while to make a move in the first place and i had to be more pushy than i'm used to being to encourage him which made me think, so i asked him casually about past relationships and he told me he's only had one proper girlfriend. he's 30 so that was unexpected but i don't have a problem with it, in fact it makes a nice change to a lot of men i've met. the problem is i have no idea now how experienced, or not, he is it's based on what has happened in the last few days, how nervous he is about things and his kissing isn't exactly the best i've known either ,but i do really like him.

 

First off my bf said he is not but I think he might be but to do want to bring it up and make him feel bad if he is.

 

We did have a talk and he told me he told me that the girl the he lost his virginity too told him she loved him and liked him but she just wanted to have sex with him cuz they know each other for a long time and wanted him after a bad break up and just wanted sex. This went on for 1/2 the year then one day she told him she did never wanted to date him just wanted to have sex and then dated a new guy the next week.

 

she kinda lead him on and yea he could of said no so it kinda on him to. Also said it made him feel empty inside but he is over it .Also he said i know guys should not care about feeling about sex but he was kind of saving it for a girl that cared about him.

 

Then he went back to college at 26 full time and worked full time so he did have time to date. Also had social anxiety in high school and was very shy and quiet more then he is now so he did not date much.

 

He is a really cool, smart guy and I feel comfortable enough with him already to have sex! im curious how he is going to react because Ive never slept with a virgin before.

 

I want his first time to be as stress-less as possible and as successful as possible. I told him that it's not a big deal and that we'll be fine, but actually I'm a bit freaked out myself. What do I do? What do I say? I don't want to intimidate him or make him feel awkward or anything. I want him to enjoy it and just take it easy cuz I obviously will be with him no matter what. So yeah, any advice, thoughts, etc. would be much appreciated, thanks :)

Posted

...But.....

 

He's NOT a virgin......:confused:

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
...But.....

 

He's NOT a virgin......:confused:

 

I know but he might just be say he is not and if he is not I do not want to make him feel bad for only being with one person .

Posted
we have been dating for 6 weeks or so and every thing is going great but i never dated a guy that is sensitive . One thing is he is little reserved and quiet around me some times. The only thing is that he is less experienced with the physical aspects of relationships than I am. I have done pretty much everything following that. I am not saying that it is a bad thing that he hasn't experienced those things yet it’s just that i want to move forward with the physical side of our relationship now.

 

it took him quite a while to make a move in the first place and i had to be more pushy than i'm used to being to encourage him which made me think, so i asked him casually about past relationships and he told me he's only had one proper girlfriend. he's 30 so that was unexpected but i don't have a problem with it, in fact it makes a nice change to a lot of men i've met. the problem is i have no idea now how experienced, or not, he is it's based on what has happened in the last few days, how nervous he is about things and his kissing isn't exactly the best i've known either ,but i do really like him.

 

First off my bf said he is not but I think he might be but to do want to bring it up and make him feel bad if he is.

 

We did have a talk and he told me he told me that the girl the he lost his virginity too told him she loved him and liked him but she just wanted to have sex with him cuz they know each other for a long time and wanted him after a bad break up and just wanted sex. This went on for 1/2 the year then one day she told him she did never wanted to date him just wanted to have sex and then dated a new guy the next week.

 

she kinda lead him on and yea he could of said no so it kinda on him to. Also said it made him feel empty inside but he is over it .Also he said i know guys should not care about feeling about sex but he was kind of saving it for a girl that cared about him.

 

Then he went back to college at 26 full time and worked full time so he did have time to date. Also had social anxiety in high school and was very shy and quiet more then he is now so he did not date much.

 

He is a really cool, smart guy and I feel comfortable enough with him already to have sex! im curious how he is going to react because Ive never slept with a virgin before.

 

I want his first time to be as stress-less as possible and as successful as possible. I told him that it's not a big deal and that we'll be fine, but actually I'm a bit freaked out myself. What do I do? What do I say? I don't want to intimidate him or make him feel awkward or anything. I want him to enjoy it and just take it easy cuz I obviously will be with him no matter what. So yeah, any advice, thoughts, etc. would be much appreciated, thanks :)

 

Just do it.

Posted

.............cope?

  • Like 1
Posted
I know but he might just be say he is not and if he is not I do not want to make him feel bad for only being with one person .

 

Well, we all have to start somewhere.:rolleyes:

 

Remember what you were like on your first time?

 

If it felt good, and your lover was considerate, do likewise to him.

 

if it was not good, and your lover was not considerate, then you know what NOT to do.

 

Poulet parfait!

  • Author
Posted
.............cope?

 

never been with an inexperienced guy before . cope might not the best word but how to encourage.

Posted

In all honesty he could have banged more in his 6 months of said relationship than you have cumulatively. He may be a total lion in the sheets. I think you sell the guy short.

Posted
never been with an inexperienced guy before . cope might not the best word but how to encourage.

 

What difference does it make whether he is a virgin or not?

If you like the guy & care for him just do it.

 

You sound just as bad as those guys who run around sleeping with randoms then call a woman a slut & not GF material because she knows what a penis looks like.

  • Like 1
Posted

Why do women even make threads like this?

 

"Help, my boyfriend is inexperienced and I don't know what to do?!"

Posted

Where is kungfujoe. More proof buddy. Told ya so.

  • Like 1
Posted
Why do women even make threads like this?

 

"Help, my boyfriend is inexperienced and I don't know what to do?!"

 

Women like this sound like they are very lazy in bed.

Like they just lay there like a dead fish or they are a sex slave that needs to be told what to do in bed & doesn't initiate anything. :sick:

 

DO NOT WANT.

 

I like my women aggressive in the sack.

  • Like 3
Posted

He's either lying about being a virgin so he doesn't get rejected or he's telling you the truth. He may be telling you the truth buy you think he's a virgin because it didn't make a fast move and is slow/shy. With many women a slow mover or shy man/social anxiety (me) falls into two categories with them. Not interested or virgin. Anyway, if you like him, break him off some punanny! Sex isn't rocket science, he'll catch on quick.

Posted

You cope by pushing him onto the bed.

Taking off his pants.

Then pleasuring him with foreplay until he's ready (which should turn you on).

Then ride him, ride him like a carnival attraction.

 

Then he's not a virgin anymore and, likely will grab you flip you over and ride you like a stallion.

 

That's how you cope with a virgin if you find them attractive. Why dose it matter so much that he's been with other women? It's sex not rocket science.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
You cope by pushing him onto the bed.

Taking off his pants.

Then pleasuring him with foreplay until he's ready (which should turn you on).

Then ride him, ride him like a carnival attraction.

 

Then he's not a virgin anymore and, likely will grab you flip you over and ride you like a stallion.

 

That's how you cope with a virgin if you find them attractive. Why dose it matter so much that he's been with other women? It's sex not rocket science.

 

He just seems gun shy when it comes to sex so just throw him down on the bed and take it ? are do I take it slow and sex will happen.

Posted

Just take it! Be a nasty naughty girl with him he will love it.

  • Like 2
Posted
Just take it! Be a nasty naughty girl with him he will love it.

 

This.

 

Men like it when women are agressive and initiate sex. Even or especially in the context of a relationship, guys get tired of having to do all the initiating, and then all the physical work of sex.

Posted
Just take it! Be a nasty naughty girl with him he will love it.

If you gave that suggestion to a man who was with a woman who was a bit timid, we'd have a whole rape scenario here.

 

For some reason, telling this advice to a woman whom is dating a timid man is acceptable.

 

:bunny:

  • Like 1
Posted
If you gave that suggestion to a man who was with a woman who was a bit timid, we'd have a whole rape scenario here.

 

For some reason, telling this advice to a woman whom is dating a timid man is acceptable.

 

:bunny:

 

No it wouldn't be rape. Assuming the woman went the bedroom with the man what's the implication. That they are going to play patty cake.

Posted

No, I see Fondue's point; if a girl is timid, shy, possibly a virgin, at least, apparently inexperienced and quiet and reserved even out of the bedroom, this kind of approach can be extremely traumatic and inadvisable.

 

Naturally, you have to go with the 'flavour of the moment' - it may be a course of action that will be positive - but there's no telling until you're there. And sex is a time of great trust and vulnerability. You really don't want to go risking that during a crucial point of your relationship.

Posted

Rape is when you decide to take someone sexually and ignore their objections. No means no...but if you don't say anything that's not the same as no.

Posted
Rape is when you decide to take someone sexually and ignore their objections. No means no...but if you don't say anything that's not the same as no.

Lonelyone, you are one of the posters I respect the most... But with that said, you can't be this foolish.

 

With that sort of attitude, next time I meet a girl who's shy and introverted, I'll make sure to aggressively pounce on her. I'm sure she won't object. Or maybe you know, she'll be "too shy" too say 'no.'

 

Too bad the following morning I'll end up in hand-cuffs.

Posted
Rape is when you decide to take someone sexually and ignore their objections. No means no...but if you don't say anything that's not the same as no.

You don't want to come to England and try that rationale in a Court of law.

 

Just saying.....;)

Posted

You make it sound like I'm talking about jumping out of the shadows in a dark alley.

 

Were talking about an OP where the guy is her "boyfriend"....so the woman would be your "girlfriend". Understand?

 

Trust me, if someone's a virgin and their in your bed, and their your GF or BF, half naked or naked it may just be them pouncing on you.

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