zaverez Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 Hi, Just looking for some advice.. I have been dating a woman that is a stripper for the last 8 months. I met her in the club, and knew what she did before I got into this relationship. We initally started out as friends, and it has since progressed...I now live with her. She pays for eveything, even though I have money and offer to pay for the bills and expenses all the time. She has told me she is in love with me, and wants to get a "regular" job. She continues to dance, and expects me to understand why she does it..I understand that its good money...but as a guy who is selfish, and wants privacy with his companion...or lets be blunt...I want my woman to be mine and only mine...its hard to understand and accept the situation...has anyone went through this..and actually had a successful relationship?
morrigan Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 One of my sister's friends has been a professional dancer/fitness model for 14 years (she's 33). She was smart, she saved and invested a lot of her money, she has partial ownership in a fitness gym and is semi retired from dancing. Most of her problems with bf's stemmed from her always being gone when she was a featured performer and never having time for a relationship. Treat this like you would a relationship with any other girl. Insist on paying half of the living expenses. You knew she was a dancer when you got involved with her, don't let your jealousy get the better of you. It may bother you less if you don't go to the club(s) where she works. Be there for her when she's had a bad day. Some of the customers are decent, some I've heard are total SOBs. You get to see her as the person she is, not the sexual facade the girls put on for paying customers. I have heard that the income/lifestyle from being a stripper gets very addictive, but it's not going to be a lifelong career. Be supportive of your girlfriend, try to encourage her if she acts interested in any kind of educational/career opportunities.
zara Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 Don't give up now! You DO have her all to yourself! You get the real woman, and it's all real, not like the punters who have to pay to get a dancer to pretend they like them for five minutes! I am a cynic and doubt i will ever have a relationship again, but i would love to meet a guy who i could be honest with about my job (i have a regular job and am also a stripper) and who would support me. Like Morrigan says, it is not a long term career and if it makes you feel better to pay some of the bills then you should insist, but please do not fall out over this. It's just a job, not much different to working behind a bar where you have to smile and flirt with the customers even though you think they're idiots most of the time and you just can't wait to get home to be in your lover's arms. You are a lucky man to have a beautiful, solvent and smart girl and she is a lucky girl to have a patient, confident, intelligent man. I really hope it works out for you both!
danny8630 Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 my girlfriend has been waitressing in a strip club off and on for a few months now. Today, she told me they might make her permanent there. She always says she makes a lot of money there but damn. To me, thats almost the same position as a dancer. I've never actually dated a dancer, but i've heard stories that it is almost ridiculously hard to keep the relationship alive. With her also, there are too many changes; like our sex life, we havent had sex in like 2 weeks. I feel it deteriorating. It is just the thought of men all around and her being somewhat in the middle...sucks.
zara Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Don'r worry honey! Has she expressed an interest in dancing? Our waitresses say they prefer their job behind the bar as they often get tipped and, on a quiet night can make more money than some of the dancers! Her job is no different to working in any kind of bar, except she's likely to make better tips becasue people are more free and easy with their cash in a strip club. Lots of clubs don't allow partners to attend but some do, see if you can go spend a few hours there one evening to put your mind at rest. Don't allow stories or your imagination to put doubts into your mind - heck, i've heard stories that it's difficult to keep a relationship with a doctor/ police officer/ athelete etc, but i wouldn't allow that to hinder my efforts if i were to find a man who just happened to do one of these jobs.
danny8630 Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 quick response, i have to leave soon. She doesn't want to be a dancer. She tells me that she makes a lot of money there and typically it does make her happy. gotta run; write more later.
Recommended Posts