lourdes_bern Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) Anyone else have this problem? If you've read some of my other threads, you'll know my situation, but here's the short version: Ex-boyfriend and I dated for a year and four months. We had been living together since June (eight months in); he broke up with me two weeks before Thanksgiving. His reasoning was that we were incompatible, and he also had GIGS syndrome. I moved out almost immediately, and we both agreed to do NC, but we kept in LC and did a stupid, horrible FWB-type thing for two months; he even helped me move into a new apartment. There was also a complication with my supposedly close girl friend (see the thread here), who decided to be friendly toward him after the BU and began relaying info and back and forth between us. On Jan 22 (about a week ago) I put my foot down, telling him I couldn't be jerked around while he figured out what he wanted, and I truly implemented NC. Over the next few days I blocked him on Facebook, deleted his texts, removed him from every online venue we shared like language learning sites, Google plus, Twitter, etc. I even unsubscribed from his coworkers on Facebook. Anyway, this past week I've been feeling really down; I'm exhausted from work, worried I won't make enough money this month (I tutor so I don't get benefits/salary, just hourly pay when I can get students), can't sleep well, haven't been exercising or playing music like normal, and received tons of disappointment/anger from my parents about getting into a car accident and my lack of a full time job. However, I've been determined to stick to NC despite the challenges. My one mistake was when I got in the car accident and called my ex out of panic, but he never picked up and never checked on how I was doing after I left a message. His silence gave me even more reason to move on. I'm really frustrated because I know logically the relationship is over. I've picked apart the relationship on my private blog and written out my anger, hurt, and confusion toward him several times since the BU. But I still feel lonely and sad, and I still miss him. This isn't my first ever BU, though it's the first relationship I committed to as an independent adult. Even so, I know one day I'll reach a point of indifference toward his current actions and simply appreciate the fond memories and possibly be on friendly terms. (I'm not holding out hope for the last bit.) I've done everything I can to help me move forward - gotten back into my hobbies, joined meetup and met new friends, reconnected with old friends, job hunting and working, exercising, working on my graduate school application, accepting a volunteering position. I accept that the relationship is over, but for some reason I still feel hurt, and it's driving me nuts. It's keeping me up at night and making my productivity decrease by tons! I WANT to reach the indifference point so badly! Anyone just have any tips to relax? Is there anything wrong with me? What can I do to push myself forward even more? My friend tells me to let it all out by running, but I went running with this friend last night, at a strenuous pace for both of us, and I still lay awake feeling sad. Help! Edited February 3, 2013 by lourdes_bern
cavalier99 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Umm you only started NC like a week ago. How far along do you expect to be? These things take time. Im 4 months NC and still struggle at times. It gets better but you cant rush it. Cav
Author lourdes_bern Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Umm you only started NC like a week ago. How far along do you expect to be? These things take time. Im 4 months NC and still struggle at times. It gets better but you cant rush it. Cav Yeah, I guess I just put a lot of pressure on myself. I really want all the pain and sadness to be over. I'm sick to death of feeling them and thinking about him. I'm also mad at myself for not implementing NC until 2 months later. I acted like a desperate idiot with no self respect in our LC period, and I *know* I'm better than that!
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