boblet Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 SO, I went on a date for the first time since my BU... and I was having a great time, not thinking of my ex.... then I suddenly realized he was on the table NEXT to my table, 2 seats away from me LOL I haven't seen him since our BU. Anyway, wow I was so shocked, I wonder how dumpers feel when they see the dumpee with someone else? Anyone ever been through that? He doesn't know one thing about me since I cut contact, that totally made my night I'm so glad I stuck to NC! Maybe this was karma for cheating on me who knows. 3
Gingerxr2 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 SO, I went on a date for the first time since my BU... and I was having a great time, not thinking of my ex.... then I suddenly realized he was on the table NEXT to my table, 2 seats away from me LOL I haven't seen him since our BU. Anyway, wow I was so shocked, I wonder how dumpers feel when they see the dumpee with someone else? Anyone ever been through that? He doesn't know one thing about me since I cut contact, that totally made my night I'm so glad I stuck to NC! Maybe this was karma for cheating on me who knows. Haha , that's funny as !! Hope you looked amazing 2
cavalier99 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Wierd. Are you doing ok? Did you guys make eye contact. Was he leaving or did you need to be there the whole time with him at the other table. was he alone? Was date ok? Details lol
Author boblet Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Lmao this was too funny I was so shocked! Yep I'm doing just fine I was really into the guy and he was shooting pool with me, standing all closely etc and then I noticed my ex's friends and then I saw his back facing me, so I didn't even see when he walked in I was busy with that other guy lol we didn't make eye contact at all I just acted like I would have acted it he was there or not, after a while I just calmed down and laughed to myself as I looked into the other guy's eyes lolol we left holding hands too. Crazy! 1
Author boblet Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I was trying not to look at my ex or anything but I kind of glanced at times, I felt him looking at me when I got up (I think) but 10000000% sure he saw me lolol
Author boblet Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 As epic as this moment was, it's reallyyyy making me overthink everything it's a bit annoying.. but I guess at the end of the day it doesn't change anything? And I should just assume he doesn't care?
Simon Phoenix Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 As epic as this moment was, it's reallyyyy making me overthink everything it's a bit annoying.. but I guess at the end of the day it doesn't change anything? And I should just assume he doesn't care? You shouldn't worry about it one way or another. You had a great date. Focus on that, not the ex. F--k the ex. Let him be the one wondering, not you. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Well. Whenever you have those weird/exciting moments the natural inclination is to think about it. What did he think? Was he jealous? Is he going to call me now? Does he think i have a boy friend? If there was a 1% chance he was coming back did i ruin it.? Etcetera. Unfortunately your not going to get an answer from him. And ANY insight form him wouldn't help you. So the only choice is to let it go. My take is he although he doesn't want back I'm sure he got a bit jealous and a little messed up about it. Guys get competitive and seeing you with some one else brings out possessive feelings. So I'm sure it got to him. BUT..doesn't change a thing. Be happy that now you will be remembered as a strong woman who got on with her life. Not the memory of the begging and pleading most of us did. This still haunts me.
Author boblet Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Thanks guys... yep if anything I'm more focused on that other guy and going on other dates and all that, it's kind of exciting, a great change since the last few crappy months. Well, I sure hope so, BUT I did do the begging and pleading I will admit you aren't alone Cav, but I cut contact as soon as I realized it was getting nowhere and I was getting friendzoned, we only spoke twice for bday's but other than that I think I've held up pretty well. It's kind of weird because I was genuinely trying to make a move on with my life and that's the time he'd see me, after 5 months. Anyway, it isn't in my control that he saw me I didn't plan for it that way. All these weird things keep happening lol 1
cavalier99 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Glad to hear your doing well. When did you start feeling better? These last weeks? I'm month behind you (NC the whole way) and am much better than when you responded to my rant mid Nov. Ill always appreciate that. I was at my lowest then and your words helped sooo much. Anyway I hope to get where you are soon. I see some light at the end of the tunnel! Rock on. Cav 1
Author boblet Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Well to be honest, up until that day I was going on that date, I was SOO tempted to message my ex, that entire week, and I decided I wanted to try something new without dragging my past into it so it stopped me from messaging. I've been feeling better since I went on that date, and looking at other guys. I really don't want to get too ahead of myself though because I'm concerned that if things go downhill with this guy, it would make me miss my ex. I guess also, him seeing me with another guy also sets in that wow, it's really over.. but I've sort of noticed I stopped thinking of the memories etc as much. Again, dunno if this is a phase or if I'm actually moving on. No problem! your words have helped me a lot too and everyone one here! I'm definitely not healed all the way but I read on this forum someone saying, day by day, then month by month, and before you know it you'll be healed. Have you started dating as yet?
cavalier99 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Well to be honest, up until that day I was going on that date, I was SOO tempted to message my ex, that entire week, and I decided I wanted to try something new without dragging my past into it so it stopped me from messaging. I've been feeling better since I went on that date, and looking at other guys. I really don't want to get too ahead of myself though because I'm concerned that if things go downhill with this guy, it would make me miss my ex. I guess also, him seeing me with another guy also sets in that wow, it's really over.. but I've sort of noticed I stopped thinking of the memories etc as much. Again, dunno if this is a phase or if I'm actually moving on. No problem! your words have helped me a lot too and everyone one here! I'm definitely not healed all the way but I read on this forum someone saying, day by day, then month by month, and before you know it you'll be healed. Have you started dating as yet? That's great that your dating. Even if it doesn't work out it is always good to have thing going on. I guess just focus an the having fun aspect and not falling into anything to quick. Remember to be picky and make sure the guy has the qualities your looking for. I think with time and the more things we do, dating ecetera, the more the old memories get pushed out. You'll probably be 100 percent recovery in the next months if not sooner. I'm more in have fun, go out, and maybe hookup mode. The thought or dating is still a little daunting. I'm not sure if i could handle being across the table from some one right now chit chatting. I had a date tentatively set up like a month ago. The second I contacted her about getting together the next week ,and she agreed, I knew it was a mistake and i ended up blowing her off and not calling (i know..bad) anyway hopefully ill get there soon. Take care! Cav
Author boblet Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 Aww man you'll get there you're already progressing! That's what I focus on, and I know you do too! I guess there's no rushing, whenever you're ready, but when you reach there it'll be awesomeeee. I'm not completely healed because yesterday I felt really down and missed the comfort of a relationship. Ah well. Keep me updated and I hope you're still working out! 1
cavalier99 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Aww man you'll get there you're already progressing! That's what I focus on, and I know you do too! I guess there's no rushing, whenever you're ready, but when you reach there it'll be awesomeeee. I'm not completely healed because yesterday I felt really down and missed the comfort of a relationship. Ah well. Keep me updated and I hope you're still working out! Sorry you felt down. The thing I'm finding is now i can just accepting these feeling when they come and i know they will pass it isn't as big a deal anymore. I think this is progress in itself. Today i was driving and actually felt really happy. Don't know why. It was almost strange not be hung up on things. Made me realize how tough all this has been and I'm going to get over this with some more time. This strange happiness non tormented feeling has happened a few times recently. I like it! I mean I've felt good before going out etcetera but is was more like i forgot things for a bit and it was a only a reprieve/distraction. This time it was more internal and i could even think of the ex and not care. I think this is going to happen more and more often for both of us. Rock on! Cav
Gingerxr2 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 As epic as this moment was, it's reallyyyy making me overthink everything it's a bit annoying.. but I guess at the end of the day it doesn't change anything? And I should just assume he doesn't care? I'll make it easy for ya !! He couldn't give a flying pig about you ! Your ex is about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe and you deserve better , stop thinking about him and what he was thinking ! Think about what your new date was thinking about how stunning you looked , and how you have an amazing smile . Bla bla bla xx
Author boblet Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Sorry you felt down. The thing I'm finding is now i can just accepting these feeling when they come and i know they will pass it isn't as big a deal anymore. I think this is progress in itself. This time it was more internal and i could even think of the ex and not care. I think this is going to happen more and more often for both of us. Rock on! Cav Yep I know what you mean I was so surprised at those moments.I'm kind of getting there too, more and more he's becoming a memory... glad we're both getting there I'll make it easy for ya !! He couldn't give a flying pig about you ! Your ex is about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe and you deserve better , stop thinking about him and what he was thinking ! Think about what your new date was thinking about how stunning you looked , and how you have an amazing smile . Bla bla bla xx Thanks Ginger! That's exactly what I needed to hear... he doesn't give a sh-t he's consistently shown me that. It hurts to think that way, but I'm doing myself a favour ultimately
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