OkCupid Profile

[JMCOSU838]

I've been out of the dating game for a long time and I've recently created a profile on OKCupid. I'd like some suggestions on how I can improve my profile page.

 

Below are links to screenshots of my profile:

 

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

Link 5

[ja123]

Hi!

Not a bad profile at all!

 

Some improvements to consider ...

 

6 things you can't do without: don't qualify them perhaps, but list them. I'd consider putting Friends and Family (and dropping especially "my parents"). As wonderful as your parents may be, it rreads like you haven't cut the apron strings. As for silence ... maybe put peace, or something. I wouldn't mention getting lost in your head. I think it's cool to get lost in your head, but that's something you share with people you know.

 

Also for the "most private thing": drop the cartoons on your underwear. A woman should be thinking of you like the he-man she needs to fulfill her desires, not snoopy.

 

Also, inject some humour! Much needed humour!

 

Good stuff though. And you're cute.

[PhillyDude]

I hate when people put stuff like this for things they can't live without

 

Water

 

Food

 

 

HUH???? I always think they are slow

[outsidethebox]

I agree with ja123 mostly, except for the cartoons on the boxers. I think that's supposed to be private humor and my guess is appealing to women, but I could be wrong. The woman didn't think so, so shows one thing I would have guessed wrong.

 

I just put my profile up on okc and very similar to yours, not as cool though, but I'm twice your age (no excuse, but all I got ) I spent 20 years in Columbus prior to moving to Jax 8 years ago. My sympathies for you is all I got to say when it comes to dating.

[PhillyDude]

I agree with ja123 mostly, except for the cartoons on the boxers. I think that's supposed to be private humor and my guess is appealing to women, but I could be wrong. The woman didn't think so, so shows one thing I would have guessed wrong.

 

I just put my profile up on okc and very similar to yours, not as cool though, but I'm twice your age (no excuse, but all I got ) I spent 20 years in Columbus prior to moving to Jax 8 years ago. My sympathies for you is all I got to say when it comes to dating.

 

 

That's what it's supposed to be..............private humor. It;s a shame too many people on OKC are too stupid to realize that

[JMCOSU838]

Hi!

Not a bad profile at all!

 

Some improvements to consider ...

 

6 things you can't do without: don't qualify them perhaps, but list them. I'd consider putting Friends and Family (and dropping especially "my parents"). As wonderful as your parents may be, it rreads like you haven't cut the apron strings. As for silence ... maybe put peace, or something. I wouldn't mention getting lost in your head. I think it's cool to get lost in your head, but that's something you share with people you know.

 

Also for the "most private thing": drop the cartoons on your underwear. A woman should be thinking of you like the he-man she needs to fulfill her desires, not snoopy.

 

Also, inject some humour! Much needed humour!

 

Good stuff though. And you're cute.

 

Thanks for the advice and the compliment. Below are the changes I've made to my profile. Let me know what you think.

 

Link 1

Link 2

[Cutiepie1976]

FWIW, I'm in your target audience.

 

I loved your first profile!! It was funny. Your personality came through. A few of the things that really worked for me personally: your six things, Silas Marner (incredible book!), some of your movie choices (e.g. Pan's Labyrinth, The Dark Knight Rises...which is in my DVD player right now:laugh:), your cartoon boxers (haha), your eclectic musical tastes, and that you enjoy travel (I do too:)). I also loved your photo choices. You seem warm and sincere. Loved that you were smiling in your photos. Your personality and interests really came through. You seemed like a genuine guy who would be fun and interesting to get to know on dates.

 

My only criticism: you have a couple of punctuation errors. Still, I would be all over any communication you sent me based on what you wrote, how you wrote about yourself, and your photo choices...well, assuming you relocated from the Midwest to the East Coast first!

 

Personally, I thought the changes were creepy. An alien in your basement? The woodchuck didn't work for me either. I wouldn't respond to the second version. We all have preferences, and there are a few things that are outside my general preferences (no one is going to be everyone's cup of tea BTW), that I would be unwilling to overlook with the revised version, even without the creepy edits. You've whitewashed out your great personality, cute humor, and attractive uniqueness. You've become just another person in the crowd. That forces me to focus and nitpick on the superficial because I have nothing else to connect to or work with...are you cute enough, tall enough, etc....assuming of course, I got beyond the bizarre alien in the basement comment:/ Now I'm bothered that you're missing a couple of things I prefer.

 

BTW, friends and family is very generic. You're in your thirties and independent. Having a healthy relationship with your parents is a positive, not a negative. If you were in your early twenties, then yes, one could wonder about persistent apron strings. I haven't encountered that issue in the post-30 set yet, and I'm an active dater. For me, I interpret it as a sign that you can see the positive in someone despite the peaks and valleys of a long-standing relationship. In my view, that's a critical skill in a romantic partner. (I mean, let's face it, we didn't always get along with our parents. You've matured beyond that phase. You're now comfortable enough with who you are as an individual and adult enough that you can acknowledge them for who they are even on days when they irritate you.)

 

Two of my close friends just got engaged to guys they met on OKC. Good luck!

[PhillyDude]

Thanks for the advice and the compliment. Below are the changes I've made to my profile. Let me know what you think.

 

Link 1

Link 2

 

 

The answer to the private question was kind of corny but your Friday Night answer is good.

[JMCOSU838]

FWIW, I'm in your target audience.

 

I loved your first profile!! It was funny. Your personality came through. A few of the things that really worked for me personally: your six things, Silas Marner (incredible book!), some of your movie choices (e.g. Pan's Labyrinth, The Dark Knight Rises...which is in my DVD player right now:laugh:), your cartoon boxers (haha), your eclectic musical tastes, and that you enjoy travel (I do too:)). I also loved your photo choices. You seem warm and sincere. Loved that you were smiling in your photos. Your personality and interests really came through. You seemed like a genuine guy who would be fun and interesting to get to know on dates.

 

My only criticism: you have a couple of punctuation errors. Still, I would be all over any communication you sent me based on what you wrote, how you wrote about yourself, and your photo choices...well, assuming you relocated from the Midwest to the East Coast first!

 

Personally, I thought the changes were creepy. An alien in your basement? The woodchuck didn't work for me either. I wouldn't respond to the second version. We all have preferences, and there are a few things that are outside my general preferences (no one is going to be everyone's cup of tea BTW), that I would be unwilling to overlook with the revised version, even without the creepy edits. You've whitewashed out your great personality, cute humor, and attractive uniqueness. You've become just another person in the crowd. That forces me to focus and nitpick on the superficial because I have nothing else to connect to or work with...are you cute enough, tall enough, etc....assuming of course, I got beyond the bizarre alien in the basement comment:/ Now I'm bothered that you're missing a couple of things I prefer.

 

BTW, friends and family is very generic. You're in your thirties and independent. Having a healthy relationship with your parents is a positive, not a negative. If you were in your early twenties, then yes, one could wonder about persistent apron strings. I haven't encountered that issue in the post-30 set yet, and I'm an active dater. For me, I interpret it as a sign that you can see the positive in someone despite the peaks and valleys of a long-standing relationship. In my view, that's a critical skill in a romantic partner. (I mean, let's face it, we didn't always get along with our parents. You've matured beyond that phase. You're now comfortable enough with who you are as an individual and adult enough that you can acknowledge them for who they are even on days when they irritate you.)

 

Two of my close friends just got engaged to guys they met on OKC. Good luck!

 

Thanks for the response. I think you are right about some of the changes I made. I was trying to add more humor to my profile, but after reading it a few hours later I don't think it really worked. Written humor isn't my strong suit and I think it showed in what I wrote. I changed some of the entries back to what they were.

 

If it's not too much trouble, could you tell me where the punctuation errors are? The only one I spotted when I reread it was "associates degree" instead of "associate's degree."

[JMCOSU838]

The answer to the private question was kind of corny but your Friday Night answer is good.

 

Yeah, after reading it a few hours later, I came to the same conclusion. Written humor isn't my specialty so it felt pretty forced. I went ahead and changed it back to what it was. Thanks for the feedback.

[JMCOSU838]

I thought this guy was going to be some sort of creepolo but the profile isn't half bad. Good job! Or, good jobolo, I should say, staying true to the previous sentence.

 

I think I'm "this guy". If so, thanks for looking it over and giving your feedback.

[Cutiepie1976]

Thanks for the response. I think you are right about some of the changes I made. I was trying to add more humor to my profile, but after reading it a few hours later I don't think it really worked. Written humor isn't my strong suit and I think it showed in what I wrote. I changed some of the entries back to what they were.

 

If it's not too much trouble, could you tell me where the punctuation errors are? The only one I spotted when I reread it was "associates degree" instead of "associate's degree."

 

I thought you had a wry sense of humor. It was peppered throughout the first version!

 

As far as punctuation, I was reading quickly and posting from my phone...still am. You caught one. You also need a comma after "...around central Ohio" in the second paragraph in "What I'm doing with my life." Also, under "I'm really good at," the second sentence is a fragment. No subject. No verb. Either combine the two sentences (by changing the punctuation used) or reword the second to turn it into a complete sentence. Given your writing style, I favor the latter. Maybe: "I can show you how to drive a stick shift, for example, or explain how a new board game is played."

 

You write well and have a very laid-back, witty, conversational style. It's wonderful and actually very hard to pull off unless that's naturally you. You come across as genuine, funny, and warm. The Groucho Marx comment about dogs and books was just hilarious!

 

Keep the detail and side comments. It shows that you have depth and complexity. I was surprised at some of your preferences. They were unexpected and really intriguing. That's why I would be all over your communication like a cheap polyester suit. It overrode things about your profile that were less than ideal for me personally. Each reader will connect with something a little different.

 

Detail, while keeping things short and to the point as you did, can be very effective at getting you what you want. I tried three different versions of my profile: pictures only (okay, I was too busy/lazy to write a profile the first week), simple, and finally detailed. I got tons of responses with all three, especially the first and third versions, but the quality of who I got, and what they wanted changed dramatically. I had to do a ton of sifting with the first two versions of my profile. With the third, great guys fell into my Inbox.

 

Have fun!

[Emilia]

The biggest favour you could do for yourself to attract women would be investing in a gym membership, putting 6 months hard graft in and then keeping up the shape you achieve. Significance of the rest of your profile would diminish somewhat.

[JMCOSU838]

I thought you had a wry sense of humor. It was peppered throughout the first version!

 

As far as punctuation, I was reading quickly and posting from my phone...still am. You caught one. You also need a comma after "...around central Ohio" in the second paragraph in "What I'm doing with my life." Also, under "I'm really good at," the second sentence is a fragment. No subject. No verb. Either combine the two sentences (by changing the punctuation used) or reword the second to turn it into a complete sentence. Given your writing style, I favor the latter. Maybe: "I can show you how to drive a stick shift, for example, or explain how a new board game is played."

 

You write well and have a very laid-back, witty, conversational style. It's wonderful and actually very hard to pull off unless that's naturally you. You come across as genuine, funny, and warm. The Groucho Marx comment about dogs and books was just hilarious!

 

Keep the detail and side comments. It shows that you have depth and complexity. I was surprised at some of your preferences. They were unexpected and really intriguing. That's why I would be all over your communication like a cheap polyester suit. It overrode things about your profile that were less than ideal for me personally. Each reader will connect with something a little different.

 

Detail, while keeping things short and to the point as you did, can be very effective at getting you what you want. I tried three different versions of my profile: pictures only (okay, I was too busy/lazy to write a profile the first week), simple, and finally detailed. I got tons of responses with all three, especially the first and third versions, but the quality of who I got, and what they wanted changed dramatically. I had to do a ton of sifting with the first two versions of my profile. With the third, great guys fell into my Inbox.

 

Have fun!

 

Thanks for your continued feedback. The error that you pointed out in the "Things I'm really good at" section was something that I remember bothered me when I first wrote it. I didn't know it was a fragment, I just remember that it didn't sound right when I said it in my head. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a better way to phrase it, so i just left it as is. You're suggestion helped. This is what I changed it to:

 

I'

m

really good at teaching other people things that I know. For example, I can show you how to drive a stick shift without getting frustrated, or learn the rules to a new game without getting impatient. It's sort of like ESP, only it's real.

 

[JMCOSU838]

The biggest favour you could do for yourself to attract women would be investing in a gym membership, putting 6 months hard graft in and then keeping up the shape you achieve. Significance of the rest of your profile would diminish somewhat.

 

Thanks for the advice. While I don't have a gym membership, I've started to do calisthenics more often and I also do a lot of hiking. During the summer months, I also participate in obstacle course races such as Warrior Dash.

[Cutiepie1976]

If you like obstacle course races, you might enjoy hashing as well. There are hashers and active hash clubs all over the US (and worldwide...it started in Asia with a bunch of British expats). A lot of fun, great exercise, and a great way to socialize and meet new people. Who knows? Depending on your local club, you might even meet your next girlfriend on a run.

 

The edit was perfect BTW.

 

Good luck!

[ja123]

I like the thing about having the patience to teach someone to drive stick shift! Heck, I wish you could teach me!

 

I agree with dropping the woodpecker and the alien thing.

 

I agree that your Friday night thing is good!

[Jane2011]

I like your profile. It's mostly serious but has just the right amount of lightness/humor (one of my biggest pet peeves in male OkCupid profiles is the guy who is trying, in every single solitary thing he says (or even most of what he says), to be a comedian/ultra witty.

 

Anyway, you're someone I would see (based on profile) in favorable light.

 

I think your pics are good too, but as someone else said, you can boost the good looks a bit by getting in great shape as opposed to in decent shape. (I didn't really see your whole body, though; I looked fast; you may be more in good shape than what I am remembering).

[Jane2011]

Well, I just looked. I'd say you are in decent/reasonably good shape. You could be more sculpted, as someone said, but so could most people. Nonetheless, it's true it might help a bit.

[JMCOSU838]

I like your profile. It's mostly serious but has just the right amount of lightness/humor (one of my biggest pet peeves in male OkCupid profiles is the guy who is trying, in every single solitary thing he says (or even most of what he says), to be a comedian/ultra witty.

 

Anyway, you're someone I would see (based on profile) in favorable light.

 

I think your pics are good too, but as someone else said, you can boost the good looks a bit by getting in great shape as opposed to in decent shape. (I didn't really see your whole body, though; I looked fast; you may be more in good shape than what I am remembering).

 

Well, I just looked. I'd say you are in decent/reasonably good shape. You could be more sculpted, as someone said, but so could most people. Nonetheless, it's true it might help a bit.

 

Thanks for the feedback. Getting in better shape is something I am currently working on.

[JMCOSU838]

If you like obstacle course races, you might enjoy hashing as well. There are hashers and active hash clubs all over the US (and worldwide...it started in Asia with a bunch of British expats). A lot of fun, great exercise, and a great way to socialize and meet new people. Who knows? Depending on your local club, you might even meet your next girlfriend on a run.

 

The edit was perfect BTW.

 

Good luck!

 

Thanks for recommending hashing. It sounds like a lot of fun and I'm going to give it a try at the next one here in a few weeks.

 

I would like to continue talking with you. Is there a way to privately message you?

[outsidethebox]

click on user name, drop down 2 lines, click on send private message.

[Cutiepie1976]

Hope you enjoy your first hash. I think you'll have a blast. Be prepared to get muddy.

 

You're a new member. You get PM privileges by writing 100 posts and being here one month. Alternatively, become a subscribing member for a small fee. Details are near the upper right hand corner of your screen.

[melodymatters]

Good profile, my only negative is your choice of main profile pick. The way you are holding your head makes it look like you have a fat jawline. Unfortunately pics mean SO much in OLD, and as a woman I would not be attracted to pic 1, but would to pic 2 and 3. Just my 2 cents, good luck !