Author lakerman34 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 Sorry, but rehashing one of my old threads, just for an update. It didn't turn out so good. I made an effort to keep in touch with her every 3 or 4 days or so, sometimes she'd contact me first, but for the most part, it was me contacting her. She always seemed down to hang out when I get back, but I noticed the slippage in conversation. Sort of how you'd talk to an acquaintance, and when I'd flirt, she wouldn't reciprocate like she used to. This past weekend, she sent me a message. She told me she didn't want a relationship with me, she didn't want to be emotionally attached to me, and not to read into it. After some questioning, she told me we weren't compatible and "trust" issues. Both I think are complete BS, but I told her have a good life, I wish only the best for her. Then, a few days later I get an email from my school saying she won this huge poetry competition. I congratulated her. She said thanks. Then I logged off, and then I got a message from her saying that she was incredibly sorry for leading me on, we both clearly wanted different things, and that she didn't see it going anywhere. I think she's basing this off of Facebook messages, and is forgetting how she felt when we were together physically. But I told her she didn't hurt my feelings, again, good luck on the poetry competition, and I don't think she's any less cooler and no harm done. She was grateful for this and told me that I was "really cool and nice and that she loved talking to me." I then excused myself from the conversation. At this point, I'm just going to NC her on my end. If she talks to me, I'm just going to be short. I think it's time to pull away from my investment. It sucks though because I KNOW that we are compatible. I haven't met a girl that loves movies, Motown, intellect over looks, a religious heathen, doesn't believe in marriage, the list goes on and on and on.... She was just wrong imo. I don't think this is going to go anywhere. The girls on my trip told me to stop talking to her and call her to hang out when I get back to the States. I think that is even ambitious. Funny how she was eating out of my hand, I could have done ANYTHING I wanted with her in bed, how we are very different people with very similar interests, are both quite good looking, both very intelligent, definitely have a physical attraction for each other, and are both loyal people (this list goes on and on and on as well) but, somehow, we are "incompatible." I don't think it's another guy either, moving from guy to guy isn't her style. Time to move along, but this one's going to be hard to move along from. I think there is SO much potential for an incredible relationship, but unfortunately, she's wearing a blindfold and won't take it off. I have ZERO idea where this "trust" thing came from either, but I digress. Thoughts?
Estate Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I should probably refrain for commenting more than I have already. But to be honest I can only repeat what was said weeks ago. She and the situation just seems overly complicated, like, she is complicating it and you're not around so there's nothing you can do. Not what you want to hear but in the long run I think it's best to just let it go. You'll be back soon, fresh start, meet new girls who don't make your life this complicated.
Archgirl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Sorry, but rehashing one of my old threads, just for an update. It didn't turn out so good. I made an effort to keep in touch with her every 3 or 4 days or so, sometimes she'd contact me first, but for the most part, it was me contacting her. She always seemed down to hang out when I get back, but I noticed the slippage in conversation. Sort of how you'd talk to an acquaintance, and when I'd flirt, she wouldn't reciprocate like she used to. This past weekend, she sent me a message. She told me she didn't want a relationship with me, she didn't want to be emotionally attached to me, and not to read into it. After some questioning, she told me we weren't compatible and "trust" issues. Both I think are complete BS, but I told her have a good life, I wish only the best for her. Then, a few days later I get an email from my school saying she won this huge poetry competition. I congratulated her. She said thanks. Then I logged off, and then I got a message from her saying that she was incredibly sorry for leading me on, we both clearly wanted different things, and that she didn't see it going anywhere. I think she's basing this off of Facebook messages, and is forgetting how she felt when we were together physically. But I told her she didn't hurt my feelings, again, good luck on the poetry competition, and I don't think she's any less cooler and no harm done. She was grateful for this and told me that I was "really cool and nice and that she loved talking to me." I then excused myself from the conversation. At this point, I'm just going to NC her on my end. If she talks to me, I'm just going to be short. I think it's time to pull away from my investment. It sucks though because I KNOW that we are compatible. I haven't met a girl that loves movies, Motown, intellect over looks, a religious heathen, doesn't believe in marriage, the list goes on and on and on.... She was just wrong imo. I don't think this is going to go anywhere. The girls on my trip told me to stop talking to her and call her to hang out when I get back to the States. I think that is even ambitious. Funny how she was eating out of my hand, I could have done ANYTHING I wanted with her in bed, how we are very different people with very similar interests, are both quite good looking, both very intelligent, definitely have a physical attraction for each other, and are both loyal people (this list goes on and on and on as well) but, somehow, we are "incompatible." I don't think it's another guy either, moving from guy to guy isn't her style. Time to move along, but this one's going to be hard to move along from. I think there is SO much potential for an incredible relationship, but unfortunately, she's wearing a blindfold and won't take it off. I have ZERO idea where this "trust" thing came from either, but I digress. Thoughts? You seriously have no idea what she means by trust issues? Dude scroll back to my previous posts. I'm sorry it didn't work out as you wanted. It sounds to me like she can't handle liking you while you are away so long.
Author lakerman34 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 You seriously have no idea what she means by trust issues? Dude scroll back to my previous posts. I'm sorry it didn't work out as you wanted. It sounds to me like she can't handle liking you while you are away so long. I've been loyal as a dog to her. She knows I get approached a lot, but time and time again, I say 'no.' She's VERY aware that I like her. She basically told me she doesn't like me (no compatibility....wtf?), apologized for leading me on, and telling me that she never really liked me. She called the whole "you have more feelings than me and want a relationship" as "too intense." I HIGHLY disagree with her, but alas, there is no changing her mind. I think she and I would have been INCREDIBLY compatible and would have had an AMAZING relationship. Well, she clearly doesn't see it the same way. Now I think I should have had sex with her, then I'd be writing a different tale.
Archgirl Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Are you still away? How much longer? Let her go by all means, put her out of your mind. But if you can't you may find it different when you get back And how does she know that you get approached all the time hmm? You were a jerk and let her know huh? And now she don't trust you, sillyhead! 1
Author lakerman34 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Are you still away? How much longer? Let her go by all means, put her out of your mind. But if you can't you may find it different when you get back And how does she know that you get approached all the time hmm? You were a jerk and let her know huh? And now she don't trust you, sillyhead! I don't know if I should ask her to hang out when I get back. I think she'd say yes, but I'm not OK with being "just friends" with this girl. Not right now, anyways. And it's not like that. She knows I get approached a lot. She has seen me in parties before. I don't talk about other girls/approaches to her AT ALL. I essentially let her know that she was the #1 girl on my list, and the ONLY girl I have made any plans for a possible relationship. She has NO reason to have trust issues with me, I've made sure about it, I REALLY like this girl, but still, she does. I think it's her over thinking, and I told her she is over thinking. She insists she is not. She is pretty adamant about it not happening, but she think's I'm "cool, really nice, and likes talking to me." I made sure I haven't been friend zoned (with the hooking up and flirting and what not), but somehow, maybe I have been? I think she's going to give me my space to sort things out. Honestly, I'm a little annoyed about the whole thing, but it doesn't bother me TOO, TOO much. I just wish I could go back to her, is all. Guess not. EDIT: 47 more days. Just counted. I haven't contacted her since, but I'm not removing her from FB or Twitter. I removed her from my b/l and got rid of notifications from her, but she can't see that stuff. I REALLY, REALLY think she is over me, and at the very most, she sees me as a friend. I could be wrong, and maybe when I go back to the States things will be different, but you don't BLATANTLY tell someone you don't want a relationship with them unless you mean it. I don't even know if I should call her to hang out anymore. I think I just need to consider it 100% over, and she's 100% out of my life. I don't really want to, but my hand has been kind of forced. I haven't nor will I contact her in any shape, way, or form unless she contacts me first. Then I just won't be as enthusiastic as I have been in the past. Edited March 8, 2013 by lakerman34 1
Author lakerman34 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) EXACT conversation, word for word. Figured I'd post it for perspective: Her: okay. lakerman34. I do not want to be in a relationship with you. I do not want to be romantically attached to you. Done. End of story. Do not speculate about this. This is a blatant, blunt declaration. (making you hate me challenge accepted) Me: haha wheres this coming from?? and sry, dont hate u wherever this is coming from, i appreciate the bluntness. it's been really fun, ur an awesome girl, maybe i'll see you when i visit the kids at laf!! Her: It's a trust thing. It's been real. Enjoy Africa. Me: wait a second....one minute.......there are a whole slew of reasons why i would venture that you'd say that, but TRUST?!? Her: among other things. Me: ok, well that's that then. i'm going to be honest, i think i'm being judged over facebook messages, but i digress. a little unfair, i think, but i'll stand by ur decision. Her: Okay cool. And I'm not judging you. No ill will. Me: eh but you are though. im not even given a chance to defend myself for whatever i've done. i feel pretty judged. i wish only the best of everything for u, good luck with ur final yrs at lafayette, do great things, stay cool. later! Her: It's my bad for not being more clear. I sometimes forget that I don't have to Fe feeling protect the INTJs. Have a good time in africa/med school. Me: i think this goes beyond mbti. i'm sorry but a trust issue is a rather laughable offense that i never did (nor will) commit. but i'm not going to pretend to understand the inner workings of your mind. Her: I don't think that we are compatible people. That's fine though. I think that you want to be with an ENTP, but not me. Which is also fine. And I really don't want this to be a negative thing. I don't want any ill will, hard feelings, etc. I don't mean any malice towards you. I just don't see it working out. Me: and i think you're reading too much into it. i think we could be plenty compatible, you're just not giving it a chance. it probably wasn't the best idea to hang out the way we did 3 days before i left on an 80 day journey. and no, i don't see it as negative. it's more of a premature decision. but whatever you think is right, i'm not going to try and convince you otherwise. Her: Yeah. I think we should just virtually shake hands and leave it at this. Me: sure. i am truly sorry if i ever hurt your feelings or for you not trusting me. it's for the best to just shake hands and leave it all alone. i agree completely. i have no ill will, just a little bit of confusion, but that happens in situations like this. Her: You didn't hurt my feelings. Hopefully I didn't hurt yours. Let's go about this in an NT way, call it what it is, and leave it alone. But I do ask for a little discretion. Tis all. Me: deal. Her: Good. I am not about drama or airing my personal business or anything. Thanks for being so cool about this. Sorry if I lead you on-- not my intention. You'll find yourself a cool ENTP lady doctor one day. Me: yep (A day later) Me: still, i think you are very incorrect here, i must say. the whole "trust" thing is what i don't understand. for future reference, could u please share with me what "trust" issues it is you have with me? at the very least, i want to turn this into a 'lesson learned' situation. (3 days later) Me: congrats on the poetry competition Her: thanks, thanks. I'm slightly embarrassed. (A day later) Her: Lakerman34, dude. I'm subscribed to the INTJ Relationship thread because I've posted in it before. Ya gotta stop this. I'm very sorry if talking to you over break gave you the wrong impression. I don't want to be the gal that messes with your head. I thought that I was being clear about my intentions. I tend to use a playful, joking tone with a lot of what I say, and I'm sorry if that got misinterpreted. I never asked for gifts, I never asked for fidelity, I never asked for a relationship... it's all a little intense. It is not that you scared me away (I still think that you're nice and fun to joke around with on chat), but kind of just that we got our signals a little crossed. I should have been more verbally explicit about this earlier, but this stuff makes me highly uncomfortable. Again, sorry. I really hope that no hard feelings come out of this. It was not my intention for any of this to happen. Me: its cool. no worries. really. Her: I feel really crappy about this whole thing. And I think that you misunderstood what I was trying to say the other day, which lead to a lot of misreading. Aside from maybe having some loose lips, I don't think that you did anything wrong. This is all on me. Me: loose lips was before discretion was asked. but seriously, don't worry about it. its not a big deal. Her: eh, maybe not so much before, but after. it's fine. asking for discretion is irrational on my part. it's a moot point that I shouldn't have mentioned. cool. glad that we are on the same page. Me: i'll be honest. one person i told and RIGHT away i said "****, i shouldn't have told u." i was under the influence of alcohol. but other than that, the only "loose lips" i had was to ppl you'll never meet. again, congrats on the poetry thing, thats really cool, ur no less cool to me, i gotta go. later. Her: mistakes happen. it makes me uncomfortable, but I can't fault you for it. It is not the reason that I am doing this. thanks again. glad to hear it because I do enjoy talking to you. and bye. I have to go to bed now anyway. -------------------------- That was about 4 days ago. I think it's over. Maybe I'm wrong, but the given conversation makes me think it's over. I think she might have found another guy (just using context clues) but probably not. She's going to Europe in June. I offered for her to stay with me in Greece. She has some back problems, I offered to teach her some yoga tricks to get her back better. I bought her a gift her in South Africa. I don't understand why she thinks I WANT to like her, but don't REALLY like her. I smell insecurity all over her now. Anyways, if she continues to talk to me, like I said, going to keep it short. If she says anything about wanting to be "just friends," I'm going to say something along the lines of "I don't want to have sex with my friends, so no." Anything you don't understand (Te, Fe, mbti, etc.) are psychology terms. It was one of our many mutual, geeky interests. I was kind of upset that in this conversation she was using those terms though. I was about to tell her off for it, but wanted to keep a cool head. Edited March 9, 2013 by lakerman34
Minneloa Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 No offense meant, but from what you posted, she explicitly says she does not want a relationship with you; so yes, it appears to be over. I'm sorry that things didn't work out between this woman and you. Try not to analyze the reasons behind her decision too much and focus on the decision itself. It hurts, yes, but the sooner you let go, the sooner you will be able to move on.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 lakerman34....I mean this is the nicest way possible....but you're an idiot. You've got absolutely no game from what I've seen and read so far (which was painfully a lot of it but started to foam at the mouth and go cross-eyed from the crap I was reading)....why in the world would you go to bed with a woman...get her naked, give her some weak @ss massage, when she's fully ready to go because maybe the sex will be better and likely expected it to happen and escalate to something more but then you decided it would be a stroke of genius to stop because you wanted to maintain "self-control" and dangle a carrot on a stick? wtf kind of tactic is that shet! You should have put it down like a monster truck on a row of junk yard cars....there was no reason for you to pull back at that point, not any damn reason! You came off a tease and I'd be willing to damn bet so hard you didn't even do that right. You tried to fake this whole sentimental I'm into you are more and want to hold off because you are so special....you wanted to be this nonchalant-mr-self control-I'm so proud of myself guy...well then why the hell did you go through the trouble of getting in her bed and doing your whole little temptation routine?! you dummy. And then go away out of country for 80 days!! for a girl who WANTED to have sex with you but instead you rejected her? ::face melts:: I can't BELIEVE the shet I read on these forums sometimes...look take my advice. You're not that....kind of guy.....clearly! Just play it honest and straight-forward next time with a girl you really because you've got zero game....if anything you come off as a desperately interested guy trying to fake playing hard to get. She gave you a chance at the beginning and you totally fumbled the ball....you embarrassed yourself and made yourself look incompetent and you lack any real intellectual connection with this woman...I don't even think she sees you on her level. I just want to shake you lakerman34, you totally wanted to be mr casanova and you came out looking like mr. clingy/nice guy with too strong a feelings and emotional investment for what had happened. Did you really expect her to wait for you to come back? You thought you'd just have this little teasing nice of "suspense" and she'd be waiting by your front door when you got back? she's totally go get rammed by some other guy if she hasn't already. Don't play any more games man, you fail...hard. All you're doing now at this point is embarrassing yourself....take a real hard look at this experience, learn from it and move on. Have some pride and save face, and move on...this woman is done with your sorry @ss.
Author lakerman34 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 lakerman34....I mean this is the nicest way possible....but you're an idiot. You've got absolutely no game from what I've seen and read so far (which was painfully a lot of it but started to foam at the mouth and go cross-eyed from the crap I was reading)....why in the world would you go to bed with a woman...get her naked, give her some weak @ss massage, when she's fully ready to go because maybe the sex will be better and likely expected it to happen and escalate to something more but then you decided it would be a stroke of genius to stop because you wanted to maintain "self-control" and dangle a carrot on a stick? wtf kind of tactic is that shet! You should have put it down like a monster truck on a row of junk yard cars....there was no reason for you to pull back at that point, not any damn reason! You came off a tease and I'd be willing to damn bet so hard you didn't even do that right. You tried to fake this whole sentimental I'm into you are more and want to hold off because you are so special....you wanted to be this nonchalant-mr-self control-I'm so proud of myself guy...well then why the hell did you go through the trouble of getting in her bed and doing your whole little temptation routine?! you dummy. And then go away out of country for 80 days!! for a girl who WANTED to have sex with you but instead you rejected her? ::face melts:: I can't BELIEVE the shet I read on these forums sometimes...look take my advice. You're not that....kind of guy.....clearly! Just play it honest and straight-forward next time with a girl you really because you've got zero game....if anything you come off as a desperately interested guy trying to fake playing hard to get. She gave you a chance at the beginning and you totally fumbled the ball....you embarrassed yourself and made yourself look incompetent and you lack any real intellectual connection with this woman...I don't even think she sees you on her level. I just want to shake you lakerman34, you totally wanted to be mr casanova and you came out looking like mr. clingy/nice guy with too strong a feelings and emotional investment for what had happened. Did you really expect her to wait for you to come back? You thought you'd just have this little teasing nice of "suspense" and she'd be waiting by your front door when you got back? she's totally go get rammed by some other guy if she hasn't already. Don't play any more games man, you fail...hard. All you're doing now at this point is embarrassing yourself....take a real hard look at this experience, learn from it and move on. Have some pride and save face, and move on...this woman is done with your sorry @ss. I guess I should defend myself on this one. It's A LOT more complicated than that. Also, this girl was very aware that in college, I don't have NEARLY enough fingers and toes to count how many sexual encounters I had. I probably should have had sex with her in hindsight, yes, but I think the result would have been the same. Only difference is, I could say that I had sex with her. It's all a product of her not knowing what she wanted, her over thinking, and lastly, being too far apart for too long. It's a shame, really, I wish things could be different, but I can't change her irrational mind. I probably WILL have sex with the next girl, so I guess you can say I did learn something. Even if it goes against what my mind is telling me to do.
Archgirl Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Dude she clearly think you've been f*cking around with someone else or has seen pics of you or something. I do t know how you all aren't seeing this!!
Archgirl Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 And Ninja, from a female perspective he does have 'game' seriously. That's really not the issue.
Archgirl Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Here try this. Say fine, you're right it is too intense, I can't really handle it while I'm away, lets stay in touch now and then for the good conversation, I think of you a someone who would be a really good friend. Then back the hell off. Be a barely there friendly aquaintance for the next three weeks, cool distant and polite. Contact no more than once a week. Get some of your power/mystery back and cool off before you drive yourself nuts at the same time as giving her exactly what she says she wants and no more. She'll freakin hate it if you do it well enough. Let me know what happens
Author lakerman34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 So big deal - she was willing to have sex with you on your first date. LOL - you think you're the ONLY one she's done that with on a first date??? If you believe THAT one, then I have oceanfront property in Arizona I'd like to sell you. Just because she's easy doesn't mean she loves you. You don't even know her, dude. This girl's friends group have been friends with me for years. She is not a sleep around type of girl at all. Like, AT ALL. She's in Mensa society. Actually has a paper that states she is a genius. The way to turn this girl on? Get into an intellectual debate with her, and beat her. She actually INTIMIDATES most other guys. I could be wrong, but I think I'm the third or fourth guy she has EVER gotten with. Before we hooked up, she told me she wanted a serious relationship with somebody. She hates college because she doesn't like the "WOOOOO PARTAYYYYYY" mentality. She thinks it's childish. Trust me. She's the furthest thing from a girl that sleeps around. This is coming from a guy that used to date (broke up with her in October) a girl that sleeps around.
Author lakerman34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Here try this. Say fine, you're right it is too intense, I can't really handle it while I'm away, lets stay in touch now and then for the good conversation, I think of you a someone who would be a really good friend. Then back the hell off. Be a barely there friendly aquaintance for the next three weeks, cool distant and polite. Contact no more than once a week. Get some of your power/mystery back and cool off before you drive yourself nuts at the same time as giving her exactly what she says she wants and no more. She'll freakin hate it if you do it well enough. Let me know what happens I don't know. We haven't spoken. I kind of do want to reach out, but I'm holding back. I won't do it. I don't know what's going on right now. I'm not sure if we are doing this game of "who is going to break first," if she genuinely has no interest of ever talking to me again (which, lets be honest, she DID say she enjoyed talking to me), if she's taking a step back because she thinks she might have hurt my feelings, or if it's an "eh, he'll come around" type of deal. I don't know. She can be focused on her friends, another lover, or driving herself crazy WAITING for me to contact her or come back home. I don't know. I don't want to blow it. I've kinda NC'ed her, and if she talks to me, I'll just be nice, but short with her. She's a strange person. For all I know, she did that whole thing so my mind WOULD be off of her, I could enjoy Africa, she could keep her options open, and then when I get back we hit it off again. I feel like that's something she'd do. I think I should take it all at face value right now and assume it's over. I don't think I've been friend zoned, but I think the idea of a relationship doesn't make sense to her (I get back, have a month to hang out with her, then she goes on vacation for a month, then we can see each other a couple of times, then she goes to school in August and I go to school in August. May not make a whole lot of sense to her). I guess at this point it's just time will tell, and call her when I get back to the States to hang out, see what kind of response I get. Definitely no alcohol this time though. If we have sex, it's going to be on my terms and it's going to be sober.
Rita86 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 And Ninja, from a female perspective he does have 'game' seriously. That's really not the issue. Sorry I'm a girl and I disagree. I think you're giving terrible advice
Divasu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 It's a trust thing She basically told you she does not trust you. Not sure why she drew that conclusion (have not read the entire thread) but she sounds pretty firm with her decision. Things seemed good between you two before you left for Africa, what happened in between?
Author lakerman34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 She basically told you she does not trust you. Not sure why she drew that conclusion (have not read the entire thread) but she sounds pretty firm with her decision. Things seemed good between you two before you left for Africa, what happened in between? In a few words, timing was just terrible. Got together a few days before I left, then everything seemed just dandy for a while, then she started acting standoffish to the extreme, I contacted her about twice a week for a while, I made it quite obvious that I was not sleeping around and I liked her (though I actually thought photos of me with other girls would actually help my cause. She is already aware that I tend to attract girls (usually the sorority type of girl, the one I'm NOT interested in), but that sort of cemented the "I don't suffer from one-itis" thing with her). But still, I EXPLICITLY would tell her I liked her, and I wanted to take it slow whenever some sort of relationship-y conversation would commence. Some days, she'd start the convo, some days me. But sometimes, she flat out didn't answer. She doesn't express her feelings much (she's like a dude in a hot girl's body), and she started expressing them with me a little. I continued to flirt, making sure I didn't end up in the FZ. Then, that bombshell. I don't know if I mentioned this in this thread, but we DID have one issue. I told her that, essentially, it would be helpful if she was a bit more explicit with her intentions. She got rather defensive about this saying how it takes a lot of time for her to build feelings for someone, and wants it to be organic and unforced. But then, the bombshell. That was a few weeks later though, I thought we were over all that. IDK. I'm a flirt. She probably sees it on Twitter and FB. But I was VERY, VERY, VERY explicit that she was the only one. Clearly, from reading the messages between us, you might be able to tell I actually liked her. I made it a point to be obvious, but whenever she said something like "YOU LIKE MEEEE" I'd reply "eh, maybe just a tad." Kept it rather playful. I think it's overthinking and/or another guy, really.
Author lakerman34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Sorry I'm a girl and I disagree. I think you're giving terrible advice I think most of you are giving terrible advice, really. I've dated quite a few girls. This girl is REALLY unlike any other girl. She's not very emotional, puts logic before emotions, heck, she even told me that in one of her classes, everybody thinks she's a sociopath. Not every girl is "gamed" the same way, and not EVERY girl will fall for the same kind of "game." I don't think she'd be impressed by any of the guys on this thread (no matter how much "game" they think they have). She's more into the confident nerdy type.
Divasu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 though I actually thought photos of me with other girls would actually help my causeWhy would you think that? I'm a flirt. She probably sees it on Twitter and FB. Hmm, that probably didn't paint you in a good light either. I think it's overthinking and/or another guy, really. Could be possible. Or could be from her perspective, you're a guy who says you like her but leave country and post pictures of you with other girls, flirt with them out in the open. Gah, you noob! I would just like to ask "what were you thinking"?!
Rita86 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Why would you think that? Hmm, that probably didn't paint you in a good light either. Could be possible. Or could be from her perspective, you're a guy who says you like her but leave country and post pictures of you with other girls, flirt with them out in the open. Gah, you noob! I would just like to ask "what were you thinking"?! She told him he was free to do as he please and also said she never asked him to be faithful. She sounds like a pain
Author lakerman34 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 She told him he was free to do as he please and also said she never asked him to be faithful. She sounds like a pain Ah, there's the rub. She always claimed to know me. I am a flirt. But I would NEVER, EVER, EVER get in a one night stand. Wouldn't I have said 'yes' to sex with her then? If sex was the only thing on my mind, then that was an easy score...but I said no. I'm not in a relationship with her. If she's flirting with other guys, then there's nothing I can do nor say either. When I'm in a relationship, only 2 women matter in my world. Those women are my mama, and the girl I'm in a relationship with. The rest are mere details. She should have known that about me. I made all of this rather explicit to her. But, then again, she's a genius/over thinker.... IDK. I wish there was something I could do to salvage this. I also think if I go back to the States and call her to hang out, she may see it as a case of me wanting my cake and eating it too. For all I know, in her mind she's envisioning me getting with fifty different beautiful women every night. Who knows....
Divasu Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 She told him he was free to do as he please and also said she never asked him to be faithful. She sounds like a pain Thanks for pointing that out. She always claimed to know me. I am a flirt.Sometimes women just aren't interested relationship wise in overly flirtatious men. It's too much of a hassle. Might explain why she said what Rita pointed out.
Author lakerman34 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes women just aren't interested relationship wise in overly flirtatious men. It's too much of a hassle. Might explain why she said what Rita pointed out. A lot of it has to do with I know I'm a good looking guy. The worst a random girl can say is "get lost." I have even told her before I left when she told me it's OK if I got with other girls that I was uncomfortable with her being so OK with it. I had 0 intention (and still, really, don't) of getting with girls on this trip. I just never know if she's getting with another guy. But I guess that doesn't really matter anymore.
Divasu Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 A lot of it has to do with I know I'm a good looking guy. The worst a random girl can say is "get lost." I have even told her before I left when she told me it's OK if I got with other girls that I was uncomfortable with her being so OK with it. I had 0 intention (and still, really, don't) of getting with girls on this trip. I just never know if she's getting with another guy. But I guess that doesn't really matter anymore. If she's not a big flirt herself with random people, it's a matter of two people not being compatible. It sounds like that is what she was alluding to during that long text conversation. And yes, for all you know she could have met another guy. You have to consider that could be a viable reason (which it sounds like you have already taken that into consideration).
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