lakerman34 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 So last night was my first date with this girl, and I was right, she went in for sex. I gave her a purple orchid (had a deep meaning to us, she appreciated it), and I put my foot on the brakes when our making out/touching session was about to turn into sex. I told her that I liked her, and didn't want to ruin anything. At first, she was like "ugh" and stared at me confused. Now, I'm leaving for about 80 days starting Tuesday. She told me she was "thinking" and that she couldn't make a decision on whether to try more than just a ONS with me. I slept with her overnight, and we cuddled, she kept intertwining her fingers with mine, cute stuff like that. We wake up, we just talk, hang out, hook up some more, and then I got mixed feelings about how she felt about my trying to stop her. I gave her a full body massage (and I mean head to toe), and I spent about an hour just touching and complimenting. She ate it up. I wanted to take her for breakfast, but this girl didn't want me to leave until her flatmates left. She is VERY private, and didn't want them to know I was in her room, and had me promise I wouldn't tell friends about us. By the time we left, it was too late for breakfast, so we were about to have an awkward goodbye, then I said "screw it," went in for a kiss, and we made out. I told her I'm gonna come back with some South African wine in 80 days, and asked her to keep in touch via Facebook. She said "yeah, I might when I get bored here and there." I THINK overall it was good, but I still don't know where I stand with her. I didn't try contacting her yet, trying to let the whole night marinate in her head (she over thinks EVERYTHING). Thing is, I don't know my next move. I leave on Tuesday. Do I wait for her to contact me? Do I contact her right before I leave? How do you guys think I did?
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm sorry...you lost me at purple orchid. 11
Author lakerman34 Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry...you lost me at purple orchid. Purple is her favorite color, and her favorite movie is Adaptation which talks about orchids. I told her my mom collects orchids, and she said that "that's a cool thing to collect, I can see myself collecting them." So I got her a purple orchid. She thought it was "sweet, thoughtful, and had a lot of meaning." Edited February 2, 2013 by lakerman34
FitChick Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 It's a bit worrying her not wanting her flatmates to see you and telling you not to mention your tryst to any friends. I wonder if she's worried another guy would find out. Just leave and if she contacts you, fine. If not, leave it till you get back. For all you know you could meet someone else in the mean time.
silvermercy Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Her comment about facebook sounds very lukewarm and probably says it all...
Author lakerman34 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) Her comment about facebook sounds very lukewarm and probably says it all... That's how she is. She's VERY against voice calling and Skype. She feel uncomfortable and put on the spot. Facebook is how we kept in touch the past couple of months. Edited February 3, 2013 by lakerman34
2sure Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 She sounds like she is unable to fully engage in a normal social relationship. Is she awkward? Or maybe just indifferent generally.
veggirl Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Why didn't you sleep with her? I think she wanted to keep you hidden in her room so that her roommates don't tell the guy she likes (from the party the other day right?) that you were there. A girl going in for sex on your first date...she will be fking other guys while you are gone. A girl who will move in for sex on the first real date but is too shy to talk on the phone. LOL. 2
Author lakerman34 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Why didn't you sleep with her? I think she wanted to keep you hidden in her room so that her roommates don't tell the guy she likes (from the party the other day right?) that you were there. A girl going in for sex on your first date...she will be fking other guys while you are gone. A girl who will move in for sex on the first real date but is too shy to talk on the phone. LOL. She is a VERY atypical, awkward girl. I must have called her 'strange' AT LEAST 50 times last night, and she'd reply "You wouldn't be here if I wasn't." 1
Author lakerman34 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Also, there are no other guys. She referenced (in joking) the "several guys that are [never] knocking on her door."
Author lakerman34 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 She just messaged me to tell me she watered her orchid haha. We got to talking and I mentioned how I wanted to see her again (when I get back) and how I want to continue to take it slow. She told me she was down. I told her I hoped to talk to her before I leave, she said "OK, but if we don't, don't die! Unless it's by a shark. That'd be kinda cool."
2sure Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 She just messaged me to tell me she watered her orchid haha. We got to talking and I mentioned how I wanted to see her again (when I get back) and how I want to continue to take it slow. She told me she was down. I told her I hoped to talk to her before I leave, she said "OK, but if we don't, don't die! Unless it's by a shark. That'd be kinda cool." I really like her.
Divasu Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I really like her. Me too. She's quirky, I like it. 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 She has personality and a sense of humor. I can see why you like her.
Talak7 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 More sounds like she's trying hard to be quirky.... I wouldn't bother...sounds flaky not quirky 1
Author lakerman34 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 More sounds like she's trying hard to be quirky.... I wouldn't bother...sounds flaky not quirky What makes you think she's flaky? Quirky she definitely is. VERY bad jokes hahaha but I adore that about her. For example, after the Superbowl she tweeted "And Ravenclaw wins the Quidditch Cup." She's such a dork. And I call her dork ALL the time. I really like that about her. Perhaps she didn't want to get emotionally attached with someone that she won't be seeing for 80 days, but wants to pick up (or not, which I worry about) where we left off when I get back? She told me "just don't get me a blood diamond," I told her "I'm trying to take it slow, why would I do that?" Every time I reference hanging out again, taking it slow, or anything like that, she responds positively. I don't know how contact is going to work though when I'm in Africa. Girl friends of mine think I shouldn't contact her, wait for her to contact with me. I kind of like that advice. Thoughts?
Estate Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 So last night was my first date with this girl, and I was right, she went in for sex. I gave her a purple orchid (had a deep meaning to us, she appreciated it), and I put my foot on the brakes when our making out/touching session was about to turn into sex. I told her that I liked her, and didn't want to ruin anything. At first, she was like "ugh" and stared at me confused. Now, I'm leaving for about 80 days starting Tuesday. She told me she was "thinking" and that she couldn't make a decision on whether to try more than just a ONS with me. I slept with her overnight, and we cuddled, she kept intertwining her fingers with mine, cute stuff like that. We wake up, we just talk, hang out, hook up some more, and then I got mixed feelings about how she felt about my trying to stop her. I gave her a full body massage (and I mean head to toe), and I spent about an hour just touching and complimenting. She ate it up. I wanted to take her for breakfast, but this girl didn't want me to leave until her flatmates left. She is VERY private, and didn't want them to know I was in her room, and had me promise I wouldn't tell friends about us. By the time we left, it was too late for breakfast, so we were about to have an awkward goodbye, then I said "screw it," went in for a kiss, and we made out. I told her I'm gonna come back with some South African wine in 80 days, and asked her to keep in touch via Facebook. She said "yeah, I might when I get bored here and there." I THINK overall it was good, but I still don't know where I stand with her. I didn't try contacting her yet, trying to let the whole night marinate in her head (she over thinks EVERYTHING). Thing is, I don't know my next move. I leave on Tuesday. Do I wait for her to contact me? Do I contact her right before I leave? How do you guys think I did? Sorry if this sounds bad but she was probably turned off that you were acting like a pussy. She obviously liked you and wanted to hook up. Then you go all "mushy", first date and you buy an orchid? No way! Then cuddling when she just wanted you to bang her and talking about longterm plans and the wine and whatever. I mean, it sounds like she wanted you before the date and instead of manning up you just wussed out. If you acted like a man, slept with her, took control, left some integue she'd probably be dying to see you again when you get back. As it is, she probably thinks your going for 80 days and pining after her when she just wants a man to take control. 2
Author lakerman34 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Sorry if this sounds bad but she was probably turned off that you were acting like a pussy. She obviously liked you and wanted to hook up. Then you go all "mushy", first date and you buy an orchid? No way! Then cuddling when she just wanted you to bang her and talking about longterm plans and the wine and whatever. I mean, it sounds like she wanted you before the date and instead of manning up you just wussed out. If you acted like a man, slept with her, took control, left some integue she'd probably be dying to see you again when you get back. As it is, she probably thinks your going for 80 days and pining after her when she just wants a man to take control. She actually situated herself in a way in bed so that she'd play "little spoon," and then took my hand and interlocked her fingers in mine. Hmmm......sounds like a girl that HATES mushiness, don't it? Also, the VERY NEXT DAY, we hung out, hooked up AGAIN, and as I left, I kissed her and she smiled the ENTIRE time. Also, after she texted me today, I told her that I wanted to pick her brain (she's incredibly intelligent) when I get back by taking her out. She said 'sounds good.' She genuinely was happy I was real and genuine with her when I told her I really liked her. 1
sid3 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 She actually situated herself in a way in bed so that she'd play "little spoon," and then took my hand and interlocked her fingers in mine. Hmmm......sounds like a girl that HATES mushiness, don't it? Also, the VERY NEXT DAY, we hung out, hooked up AGAIN, and as I left, I kissed her and she smiled the ENTIRE time. Also, after she texted me today, I told her that I wanted to pick her brain (she's incredibly intelligent) when I get back by taking her out. She said 'sounds good.' She genuinely was happy I was real and genuine with her when I told her I really liked her. Sheldon? Is that you??? 3
Author lakerman34 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Sheldon? Is that you??? Haha this is disheartening b/c my parents say I'm just like Sheldon
sid3 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 Haha this is disheartening b/c my parents say I'm just like Sheldon Its only disheartening if you hadn't at least grabbed a boob.
Author lakerman34 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Its only disheartening if you hadn't at least grabbed a boob. I got her naked, she got me down to my underwear. She was about to take mine off when I told her that we shouldn't, that I liked her too much for that right now. But, then again, she's a girl that likes challenges. Maybe she'll see the fact that we didn't have sex (which was VERY clearly her intentions) as a challenge?
Estate Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 She actually situated herself in a way in bed so that she'd play "little spoon," and then took my hand and interlocked her fingers in mine. Hmmm......sounds like a girl that HATES mushiness, don't it? Also, the VERY NEXT DAY, we hung out, hooked up AGAIN, and as I left, I kissed her and she smiled the ENTIRE time. Also, after she texted me today, I told her that I wanted to pick her brain (she's incredibly intelligent) when I get back by taking her out. She said 'sounds good.' She genuinely was happy I was real and genuine with her when I told her I really liked her. Dude... she wanted you to bang her and you (i.e. THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP), didn't want to? To ruin things? Dude, you are the guy... if a girl wants to bang you, and you want her around, and pining after you while you are away, then you take her to bed and bang her like she never has before and can't stop thinking about you. As it is I think she's completely turned off now, you didn't man up and acted all mushy... you said it was a first date and you're acting like prince charming (oh, she's so cute, she's so smart, let me buy you dinner and wine and flowers...) It's a total turn off man... you have her on this pedastil so far above you that its just so unattractive. You're making yourself too easy, if she felt like you were a challenge she'd be interested. What if you just took her to bed, were the best lay of her life and then she had no idea if you were off banging more girls while you were away... she'd be dying to figure out if you were or what you were doing, or who you were seeing and would WANT to see you when you get back so your not stolen away by some other girl... but as it stands... she can't be bothered, you didn't man up... And also, now you've admitted to her that you are going away and will be thinking and waiting for her the whole time. It's not attractive, sorry. Also... for reference... the "sounds good" text is NOT a good reply. it's a blowoff. Man, sorry if I'm being harsh but it sounds like your building this up into a HUGE thing in your head and she is not interested... maybe she still is but you REALLY need to work to salvage this.
Estate Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I got her naked, she got me down to my underwear. She was about to take mine off when I told her that we shouldn't, that I liked her too much for that right now. But, then again, she's a girl that likes challenges. Maybe she'll see the fact that we didn't have sex (which was VERY clearly her intentions) as a challenge? No she won't... it doesn't work that way. A guy turning down sex? Lame. She'll see you as a pussy and she can get sex off a MAN elsewhere. You're way overthinking this.
Author lakerman34 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Dude... she wanted you to bang her and you (i.e. THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP), didn't want to? To ruin things? Dude, you are the guy... if a girl wants to bang you, and you want her around, and pining after you while you are away, then you take her to bed and bang her like she never has before and can't stop thinking about you. As it is I think she's completely turned off now, you didn't man up and acted all mushy... you said it was a first date and you're acting like prince charming (oh, she's so cute, she's so smart, let me buy you dinner and wine and flowers...) It's a total turn off man... you have her on this pedastil so far above you that its just so unattractive. You're making yourself too easy, if she felt like you were a challenge she'd be interested. What if you just took her to bed, were the best lay of her life and then she had no idea if you were off banging more girls while you were away... she'd be dying to figure out if you were or what you were doing, or who you were seeing and would WANT to see you when you get back so your not stolen away by some other girl... but as it stands... she can't be bothered, you didn't man up... And also, now you've admitted to her that you are going away and will be thinking and waiting for her the whole time. It's not attractive, sorry. Also... for reference... the "sounds good" text is NOT a good reply. it's a blowoff. Man, sorry if I'm being harsh but it sounds like your building this up into a HUGE thing in your head and she is not interested... maybe she still is but you REALLY need to work to salvage this. Just a couple of questions for you: 1) How old are you? 2) How many meaningful relationships have you been in? I've been in a few relationships. Some of them we had sex on first or second dates. What ended up happening was the relationship ended because things were "moving too quickly." And dude, denying girl sex IS being seen as a challenge. You AREN'T giving her what she wants. You aren't answering my questions. I know she likes me now, I'm more worried about how to keep her interest high for the 80 days that I'll be away?
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