Eternal Sunshine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I am somewhat bothered by the mentality that your partner wants you more if others want you. What happens when you get old and nobody wants you? Is your partner going to lose interest? Most of the guys I dated were like that, and they were all "thrill of the chase" types. There is a fine line between that and descent into games and manipulation. I don't like it. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I have no idea of the situation you've referenced with the other member but as it pertains to my perspective, jealousy is a negative emotion that sources from insecurity, whether it's personal insecurity (feeling insufficient to hold the interest of the other) or insecurity caused by the actions of the person you're interested in (displaying a lack of commitment to the person feeling jealousy, through pattern of actions). Each time I've experienced jealousy, it's been because of the latter. With this in mind, jealousy causes shut down within me, a need to withdraw from an uncommitted individual. Reading this I need to make one thing clear. I never tried to make this person jealous. They just acted like they were from my talking to the candidate for the job.
Frogwife Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 As with 99.999% of the other questions on LS, the answer is "Who knows? Every person is different". For me, when I've had jealous feelings, yes, it meant that I had some interest in that person at that time. On the other hand, I've had a f*ckbuddy on and off for the last two years who always shows signs of jealousy in regard to other men in my life (including my husband, as I was separated) but he was always VERY adamant that our relationship was just sexual. So in that case, the signs of jealousy meant nothing more, no deeper feelings. Probably him just doing some Scorpio male crazy stuff. So it just depends on the person.
Els Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I would be very worried if there were not a 'little' jealousy in a R. 'Little' is defined in different ways though. IMO most people err more often on the side of excessive jealousy than none at all. Don't like huge green monsters.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 @ES In this case, if that's how they are, they would be about having the trophy. I'm sure you've seen women who are like that. They like a particular man not because they genuinely give a crap about who he is, but only because others wanted him. I really hope she's not like that. @frogwife That's a possibility worth considering. They don't want me to move on, but they don't want me that much closer to them either. @Elswyth That's what I'm starting to believe. Based on this experience and others now that I think of it. For many people, they have to have some fear that you may just move along if the take you for granted. It's good to see that I'm not totally nuts for thinking that this could be a good thing.
pbjbear Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 A little jealousy is natural. If a guy didnt feel a little jealous of me, Id seriously question his feelings for me. Its not natural to not feel any jealousy. When jealousy becomes acted on and it becomes more than a little, thats when problems start
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