on this girl... after 3 dates

[Estate]

Hey, just looking for some people to weight in on this.

 

I had a 3rd date with a girl last night. It doesn't seem to be going well, feel like she's wasting my time so unless I heard from her (unlikely), I'm not persuing this any further...

 

But my question is... we got to 3 days... WHY???

 

So I first met her over drinks after work one evening. Seemed like a pleasant date. Lasted maybe 2 and a half hours over drinks and some food. She seemed really nice but I wasn't feeling she really saw a spark so I let it go assuming she wouldn't meet again.

 

A week later she texts me to set up another date. Ok, I said... we went out for some food again but once dinner was over she had to head home. She seemed a little more flirty and I was going to kiss her at the end but she clearly seemed to shy away so I let it go.

 

I decided to give it one more shot as she seemed more flirty the 2nd time. I had tickets to a game last night and asked her if she'd join me. She seemed excited to go to the game. So we went, again had a good time I felt. It wasn't over too late so I asked her to stay out for a few drinks but she said she needed to go home. I walked her to her subway stop and hugged her and went to kiss her and again she really ducked away from it so I just said goodbye and let her go.

 

So, I'm really not pushing for a 4th date. I can get the first date not being an all night thing but I thought I felt she'd stick around for a bit on date 2 or 3 if she was interested but she wasn't. Yet she still came. I don't really get it.

 

She doesn't seem to be interested in me romantically but she is fine with going on dates with me. What am I missing?

If she's not interested then why come in the first place?

 

My initial feeling after date 1 was to leave it go but SHE initiated contact for a 2nd because I hadn't been in touch for a week.

 

Is she just looking for a free dinner/night out? Or am I missing something.

I know the guy needs to take initiative and just kiss her or whatever and I'm ok with doing that, no problem, but if someone is clearly being standoffish in any situations where we might get closer I don't get it.

On the last date since we were not sitting across the table from each other it made it easier to try and touch her a little more when talking or put my hand around her as we walked but she gave off clear signs of not being comfortable with it, even falling behind me a lot as we walked so I wasn't able to put my arm around her...

 

I just find it all bizarre. If she's not interested? That's fine, it's no big deal... but why keep seeing me then? Just cut both or losses and move on. I don't get what was going on here.

[Keenly]

Hey, just looking for some people to weight in on this.

 

I had a 3rd date with a girl last night. It doesn't seem to be going well, feel like she's wasting my time so unless I heard from her (unlikely), I'm not persuing this any further...

 

But my question is... we got to 3 days... WHY???

 

So I first met her over drinks after work one evening. Seemed like a pleasant date. Lasted maybe 2 and a half hours over drinks and some food. She seemed really nice but I wasn't feeling she really saw a spark so I let it go assuming she wouldn't meet again.

 

A week later she texts me to set up another date. Ok, I said... we went out for some food again but once dinner was over she had to head home. She seemed a little more flirty and I was going to kiss her at the end but she clearly seemed to shy away so I let it go.

 

I decided to give it one more shot as she seemed more flirty the 2nd time. I had tickets to a game last night and asked her if she'd join me. She seemed excited to go to the game. So we went, again had a good time I felt. It wasn't over too late so I asked her to stay out for a few drinks but she said she needed to go home. I walked her to her subway stop and hugged her and went to kiss her and again she really ducked away from it so I just said goodbye and let her go.

 

So, I'm really not pushing for a 4th date. I can get the first date not being an all night thing but I thought I felt she'd stick around for a bit on date 2 or 3 if she was interested but she wasn't. Yet she still came. I don't really get it.

 

She doesn't seem to be interested in me romantically but she is fine with going on dates with me. What am I missing?

If she's not interested then why come in the first place?

 

My initial feeling after date 1 was to leave it go but SHE initiated contact for a 2nd because I hadn't been in touch for a week.

 

Is she just looking for a free dinner/night out? Or am I missing something.

I know the guy needs to take initiative and just kiss her or whatever and I'm ok with doing that, no problem, but if someone is clearly being standoffish in any situations where we might get closer I don't get it.

On the last date since we were not sitting across the table from each other it made it easier to try and touch her a little more when talking or put my hand around her as we walked but she gave off clear signs of not being comfortable with it, even falling behind me a lot as we walked so I wasn't able to put my arm around her...

 

I just find it all bizarre. If she's not interested? That's fine, it's no big deal... but why keep seeing me then? Just cut both or losses and move on. I don't get what was going on here.

 

She wanted to see a free sporting event probably.

 

If she dodged a kiss on the third date, that's a pretty clear sign.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Maybe the problem is you.

You made her initiate contact after the first date.

You keep talking about how you don't think SHE felt a spark, yet you don't sound too into her yourself.

Then you say you tried to kiss her and maybe it was horrible timing and not how she wants your first kiss to be.

 

 

 

If you LIKE her, keep dating her.

If you DON'T like her, stop dating her.

It is so effing simple.

[Kingtut380]

I'd drop her. She's clearly just trying to get free meals and sporting events.

[Estate]

Maybe the problem is you.

You made her initiate contact after the first date.

You keep talking about how you don't think SHE felt a spark, yet you don't sound too into her yourself.

Then you say you tried to kiss her and maybe it was horrible timing and not how she wants your first kiss to be.

 

 

 

If you LIKE her, keep dating her.

If you DON'T like her, stop dating her.

It is so effing simple.

 

If the problem was me then fair enough. Not everyone likes everyone.

 

I mean it's 3 dates and we haven't even kissed. I mean, since there werent many other oppertunities, the end of the night would seem the obvious choice, I don't see how it's bad timing.

 

I had been interested in her but I feel friendzoned, so I'm not overly impressed now. I don't really see the point in going on 3 dates without even expressing SOME interest towards someone.

 

After the initial date, I followed up by text to say I had a really nice time and we should do it again but the responce was cold, so I left it... she contact a week later so I figured, if she wanted to text me there must be SOME interest so I asked her out again.

 

I mean, your reply seems to suggest I keep dating a girl like a friend? I don't get it.

I have other options, I just don't get where this girl is coming from is all.

[miss_jaclynrae]

If the problem was me then fair enough. Not everyone likes everyone.

 

I mean it's 3 dates and we haven't even kissed. I mean, since there werent many other oppertunities, the end of the night would seem the obvious choice, I don't see how it's bad timing.

 

I had been interested in her but I feel friendzoned, so I'm not overly impressed now. I don't really see the point in going on 3 dates without even expressing SOME interest towards someone.

 

After the initial date, I followed up by text to say I had a really nice time and we should do it again but the responce was cold, so I left it... she contact a week later so I figured, if she wanted to text me there must be SOME interest so I asked her out again.

 

I mean, your reply seems to suggest I keep dating a girl like a friend? I don't get it.

I have other options, I just don't get where this girl is coming from is all.

 

 

You keep saying she shows she isn't interested but that the dates went well.

It is very contradicting.

Maybe you aren't reading her well.

[Yamcha]

Maybe the problem is you.

You made her initiate contact after the first date.

You keep talking about how you don't think SHE felt a spark, yet you don't sound too into her yourself.

Then you say you tried to kiss her and maybe it was horrible timing and not how she wants your first kiss to be.

 

 

 

If you LIKE her, keep dating her.

If you DON'T like her, stop dating her.

It is so effing simple.

He's not sure of himself, yes. But the main problem is that he's pursuing a cunt who's using him as a meal ticket.

[miss_jaclynrae]

He's not sure of himself, yes. But the main problem is that he's pursuing a cunt who's using him as a meal ticket.

 

Sure, because the woman didn't kiss him means that she is a cunt.

Please.

[todreaminblue]

she seemed excited.......just because she hasnt kissed you doesnt mean she doesnt like you...maybe shes nervous....did you eat garlic?

[Yamcha]

Sure, because the woman didn't kiss him means that she is a cunt.

Please.

That would make all the other women in the world who didn't kiss Estate cunts, which I never implied. Logic Failure.

 

Keep your straw men to yourself and face the facts. This girl used Estate. He should ditch her posthaste.

[Estate]

You're right, I'm not reading her well. Which is why I asked.

 

The dates seemed to go well in the sense that conversation flowed, e laughed, we had fun I felt.

The bad signs where that she's showed signs of being flirty at times but not a lot.

 

So if we had several dates, we seemed to have fun and she agreed to more... why exactly does she shy away from any close contact or a good night kiss after 3 dates.

It seemed we were having fun dates a friends, since they were fun but no signs of it going any further... so that's the confusing part. Is she just wasn't interested, why come to meet me again? Just cut her losses.

[Yamcha]

You're right, I'm not reading her well. Which is why I asked.

 

The dates seemed to go well in the sense that conversation flowed, e laughed, we had fun I felt.

The bad signs where that she's showed signs of being flirty at times but not a lot.

 

So if we had several dates, we seemed to have fun and she agreed to more... why exactly does she shy away from any close contact or a good night kiss after 3 dates.

It seemed we were having fun dates a friends, since they were fun but no signs of it going any further... so that's the confusing part. Is she just wasn't interested, why come to meet me again? Just cut her losses.

Several guys, myself included, have said why she's still going out with you while still shying away from you. I'm only gonna say it one more time: She is using you. Listen to this, take your medicine, and stop being a Time Ho.

 

 

Note: I would disregard the crap about threesomes and junk.

Edited February 2, 2013 by Yamcha

[ChatroomHero]

I had a similar situation. The woman would respond and initiate a little contact but if we went out it was an early night with no real interest shown, so I just stopped wasting my time and money and just moved on.

 

I have dated women that had legitimate reasons for needing to leave early but stayed out until 2 or 3 am because they were interested in me and not just looking for a free time out or a date just for something to do.

 

Don't overthink it because let's face it, if guys could get women to plan and pay for the dates, dinners and drinks...we'd probably keep going on "dates" with people we were not really into but were not embarrassed to hang out with, up until the point the woman pushed the physical aspect at which time we would say, "Let's just hang out as friends".