amolya Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I used to be very introverted (during my teenage years) but recently have become much more extoverted. I love spending time with friends and meeting new people etc. but sometimes I still have that introverted nature and just feellike being at home, by myself. However, this is hard to explain to friends, and I sometimes wonder if others feel the same way? Like some good friends will really want to see me, but if I'm just not in the mood ill make up an excuse and just stay home. It has meant I've missed things considered quite important like leaving parties etc. it then makes me feel really guilty, like I've let my friends down even if I've made an effort to spend time with them in the run up to the leaving party. Are these feelings irrational? Sometimes it's difficult for me to see the line where I am being inappropriately selfish and should go t socials for my friends, or if I'm being appropriately selfish and shouldn't feel so bad.
Babolat Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I have the same issue. I have found that forcing myself to go out, get out of the house, is a good thing. I almost always have a good time and am glad i went out versu staying home alone.
monicaelise Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 I used to be very introverted (during my teenage years) but recently have become much more extoverted. I love spending time with friends and meeting new people etc. but sometimes I still have that introverted nature and just feellike being at home, by myself. However, this is hard to explain to friends, and I sometimes wonder if others feel the same way? Like some good friends will really want to see me, but if I'm just not in the mood ill make up an excuse and just stay home. It has meant I've missed things considered quite important like leaving parties etc. it then makes me feel really guilty, like I've let my friends down even if I've made an effort to spend time with them in the run up to the leaving party. Are these feelings irrational? Sometimes it's difficult for me to see the line where I am being inappropriately selfish and should go t socials for my friends, or if I'm being appropriately selfish and shouldn't feel so bad. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. It is selfish, insofar as you're energy comes from within yourself, but there's not a darn thing wrong with that. I spent a good three decades forcing myself to be more extroverted, only to find that I was just getting more and more miserable. I finally said screw it and just started telling people I didn't want to go out when I didn't want to go out and that I needed time to myself when I needed time to myself. My true friends have stuck with me and don't question it a bit when I tell them these things now. There are lots of folks like us. You just don't see them because they're off doing their own thing. Also not all of us our homebodies. I like to spend a great deal of time outdoors or at the gym, by myself. Most of us are perfectly capable of socializing, and can be quite chatty, we just need more time alone than our extroverted counterparts. The social activity doesn't feed us, it often drains us even when it's pleasant. That's the key difference. You don't need to apologize or feel bad about being who you are. Anyone who makes you feel like you need to isn't really a friend. 1
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