Wallflower23 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Ok so, if you have not read my previous post about my break up, here is a little summary. My ex and I broke up about two months ago. He asked for a break, we had one, then he just dumped me. Come to find out he cheated and left me for that same girl who is now his new gf. I have gone to great lengths to delete him out of my life. Numbers, family member numbers, pictures on facebook, boxed up his things, the whole nine yards pretty much. So I am abroad visiting family and in the middle of the night at around 4am my time, I get a text from my ex saying "night night babe ". He sends this at 11pm his time. This is obviously meant for his new gf. But this is no accident. He has an iphone. He would have either scrolled down to my text box if he did not delete it, or type my name in. Plus his new gf name and mine are not similar what so ever. I not only get it once, but he sends it twice. I got the second one some time after I landed back in the states. I ignored box texts and decided not to say anything. So just a few days ago I got another text message from him basically saying: "Hey I just wanted to see if maybe you'd like to meet up at some point to catch up and kind of clear the air. I understand if you don't wish to do this and wont take any offense if I do not hear back. Hope you are well. Love, Tom" Now I ignored this text for a week, and a couple of days ago I wake up one morning to find a voicemail from my ex. Pretty much i was like: "Hey so I was thinking about everything and I realized I did a lot wrong in the relationship. i did a lot wrong to you in the past and I have known for a while now, and I just want to say I am sorry. I hope to hear about your trip in the future, and I still feel that the times with you were the happiest times of my life". So after recieveing this I had to call back and say what is going on, and basically say it isnt appropriate getting all of this when he has a gf. When asking him striaghtforward questions like if he missed me, he said yes but over and over again he told me he was confused. I am not sure what to think about at this point. I feel bad for calling, but I had to set a boundary. I feel guilty missing him, but I always have to bring myself back to the truth. What are his intentions and motives?
Jono85 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 who cares? he cheated on you. not only that, he's cheating on the girl he cheated on you with right now. do you see a pattern? 2
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 His motives are clear. Alleviate guilt. Not to get back together. 2
Samilia Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 His motives are clear. Alleviate guilt. Not to get back together. This, clearly CLEARLY this. That's exactly what I was thinking as I was reading your post. So if you went the whole nine yards, block his number or change yours. The guy wants to meet with you and I bet you 10 bucks it will go like this "I want to say I'm sorry, you're a great girl, can you please forgive me?", you will say yes, he will ride into the sunset, guilt free, ex free. Douchebag.
williamshakespeare Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'd ditch him. This guy is a waste of space. Ignore everything! Move on - I'm sure you can do way better.
Minadee Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 First off, kudos on deleting him from your life, I really admire that and it must have taken a lot to do so. I think it's a control thing. He is wondering if you are missing him. When you don't reply, it plays on his mind more and more. Unless you want something to happen again, i'd ignore it. You're doing really well!
quankanne Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 samilia nailed it: It's not about *you* ... it's about *him* ... how else is he going to go forward with a clear conscience except to say these things for you to forgive him. And then afterward, it'll go on as if the relationship never really happened unless he needs something to think about that makes himself feel better, and he digs up memories of YOU. Block his number. You don't need that kind of head game. as for missing him, nothing wrong with that, it's part of the "getting over a relationship" thing. Just don't make yourself miserable second-guessing yourself. He wanted out, he got out, now he's telling you he's "confused." Again, you don't need that kind of head game, you deserve much, much more than he's willing to give.
Addison312 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Sounds like the initial honeymoon period in his new fling is coming to an end, and he is beginning to think of you. Whether he really feels sorry/guilty/wants you back, who cares?! He's a douche and you shouldn't waste anymore of your life on this cheating dumbass. You win.
Samilia Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'd change phone number. I have once in the past for similar reasons, it works wonders.
Addison312 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'd change phone number. I have once in the past for similar reasons, it works wonders. Agreed. It takes a lot of self-torture out of the equation. Also consider deleting an email account that he/she may have used. And then if they try to contact you that way, they'll receive that "cannot send" notification. How great is that?!
Samilia Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Agreed. It takes a lot of self-torture out of the equation. Also consider deleting an email account that he/she may have used. And then if they try to contact you that way, they'll receive that "cannot send" notification. How great is that?! The mail daemon error message thingy? That would be great indeed hehehe
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