My ex is seriously messed up...

February 2, 2013

This is a story of a messed up girl. My ex and I dated for four years and I was her first everything. She was sooooo into me and we had a great relationship while we dated. Never seemed interested in other men at all, she acted like I was the only guy in the world for her. We were very much in love and we thought we'd marry each other one day. I loved this girl with everything I had. Here's the messed up part..

She breaks up with me because she needs "space" but in all reality was crushing hard on one of her close guy friends. Well they hook up (I didn't know at the time) and she felt bad about it so we get back together only for her to realize that her feelings for him are pretty strong. So of course she breaks my heart again but giving me the "you never know about the future and I see us getting back together, I just want to be by myself right now" line. I bought it. At this point I had no idea how horrible she could be.

She strings me along for about 2 months, hanging out with me about once a week telling me she loves me, kissing me, hook up a couple times, misses me all that crap. At this time I was desperate and so depressed with my life I tried to hold onto her so bad. But she was BANGING this other guy the entire time! I just recently found this out. She's spending the night with him and then coming over to my house after! HOLY HELL that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Well I cut it off for a month then over Christmas she says she wants to get back together and work on us. So I agree and for the last month we've been in contact, hanging out about once a month or so but she's been distant again. What I didn't know was that the reason she "wanted to work things out" is because it didn't work with the other guy so she was lonely. I assume he used her for sex when she thought it was going somewhere and when it didn't they got into a big fight.

I hear down the grapevine that she's turned into a total slut and is really sleeping around now while talking to me again. I was told she's slept with about 4 guys since the split and she's been gloating about how she has me back in her pocket??

How can someone change this much? It absolutely blows my mind to even try to comprehend it. She used to be actually grossed out by the thought of randomly hooking up and now she's the f*****g queen? Not only that but as a person, how can someone be so low to mess with someone elses life like that and do that? I'm very hurt and it's one of the hardest things to hear that the girl I love is a total slut now. But not only that, but that she treated me like dirt and has no remorse for anything she's doing to me. It's a sad story really.

This is seemingly what I needed to hear though, the truth. Because even though as much as it hurts, I can honestly say that I don't want to date her anymore. We are two opposite people now and I really don't think I could ever forgive her for treating me this way. Thanks for reading. :/

February 2, 2013

You need to let her go man. She got a taste of the whore life and now she loves it. This chick will now never be girlfriend material.

February 2, 2013

What are the ages of everyone.involved?

February 2, 2013

Maan. That is crazy. I was dying laughing. Umm oops ...sorry it has to be you.

On the bright side once you get over the searing pain you have a great story.

...In the end i guess it makes it easier? ...sorta?

Edited February 2, 2013 by cavalier99

February 2, 2013

What are the ages of everyone.involved?

Both young , 22.

February 2, 2013

Maan. That is crazy. I was dying laughing. Umm oops ...sorry it has to be you.

On the bright side once you get over the searing pain you have a great story.

...In the end i guess it makes it easier? ...sorta?

It's actually not funny at all. Makes it easier? Nah not really, I'm kind of ruined now. Not sure how ill ever trust a girl again.

February 2, 2013

Bahaha did we date? I'm sorry but this sounds exactly like my last relationship to the t. I will have to admit though it wasn't my greatest point in life and I completely regret all of it, but on the other hand my ex was pulling the same ****. Wether he likes to admit or not. I'm just saying I would have never done that of he never had because I was so hurt I wanted him to feel what I was feeling. Obviously I learned a great deal from the whole experience. Just something for you to think about.

February 2, 2013

It's actually not funny at all. Makes it easier? Nah not really, I'm kind of ruined now. Not sure how ill ever trust a girl again.

Im sorry man. I didn't mean to make light of the pain you feel...just the situation . Believe it or not i was in similar situation (but not quite as bad) with another girl i dated a long time ago. You WILL laugh about it one day. I mean it isn't your fault your sweet princess discovered her inner ho. Just bad timing that it was on your watch.

You'll recover believe me and you will be able to trust again. Cav

Edited February 2, 2013 by cavalier99

February 2, 2013

It's actually not funny at all. Makes it easier? Nah not really, I'm kind of ruined now. Not sure how ill ever trust a girl again.

Oh stop it, of course you will....

22....?

yeah - you will.

February 2, 2013

Listen. She was the girl you knew when you were with her and she loved you.

She just has gigs is 22 and wants to experiment. The unfortunate part is you were around to see the aftermath. To give her credit she tried to break up with you..just couldn't stick with it. And you couldn't cut her off 100 percent. Thus all the dram and extra pain

February 2, 2013

This is a story of a messed up girl. My ex and I dated for four years and I was her first everything. She was sooooo into me and we had a great relationship while we dated. Never seemed interested in other men at all, she acted like I was the only guy in the world for her. We were very much in love and we thought we'd marry each other one day. I loved this girl with everything I had. Here's the messed up part..

She breaks up with me because she needs "space" but in all reality was crushing hard on one of her close guy friends. Well they hook up (I didn't know at the time) and she felt bad about it so we get back together only for her to realize that her feelings for him are pretty strong. So of course she breaks my heart again but giving me the "you never know about the future and I see us getting back together, I just want to be by myself right now" line. I bought it. At this point I had no idea how horrible she could be.

She strings me along for about 2 months, hanging out with me about once a week telling me she loves me, kissing me, hook up a couple times, misses me all that crap. At this time I was desperate and so depressed with my life I tried to hold onto her so bad. But she was BANGING this other guy the entire time! I just recently found this out. She's spending the night with him and then coming over to my house after! HOLY HELL that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Well I cut it off for a month then over Christmas she says she wants to get back together and work on us. So I agree and for the last month we've been in contact, hanging out about once a month or so but she's been distant again. What I didn't know was that the reason she "wanted to work things out" is because it didn't work with the other guy so she was lonely. I assume he used her for sex when she thought it was going somewhere and when it didn't they got into a big fight.

I hear down the grapevine that she's turned into a total slut and is really sleeping around now while talking to me again. I was told she's slept with about 4 guys since the split and she's been gloating about how she has me back in her pocket??

How can someone change this much? It absolutely blows my mind to even try to comprehend it. She used to be actually grossed out by the thought of randomly hooking up and now she's the f*****g queen? Not only that but as a person, how can someone be so low to mess with someone elses life like that and do that? I'm very hurt and it's one of the hardest things to hear that the girl I love is a total slut now. But not only that, but that she treated me like dirt and has no remorse for anything she's doing to me. It's a sad story really.

This is seemingly what I needed to hear though, the truth. Because even though as much as it hurts, I can honestly say that I don't want to date her anymore. We are two opposite people now and I really don't think I could ever forgive her for treating me this way. Thanks for reading. :/

You never mention actually having a conversation with her about it, only the "he said, she said" and grapevine second hand info. Also, you saw her once since deciding to work things out back in December? While I believe she lied and cheated on you, are you sure about the slutting around? Not like it matters, since she clearly played you anyway.

Are you still in contact with her?

February 2, 2013

That really sucks man. I really felt for you when I read your post. at least it was pretty much outside your control ie it was her doing not yours. Its even worse you lose someone through your own actions e.g. drive them away by acting like an d**k or something and then realizing the error of your ways. Then you have guilty added to the mix.

Just go to NC and in time you'll forget about her. Don't fall for anymore of her tricks. Seriously - halt all communication with her!

You sound like a great guy and will have no prob picking up better (and more loyal) chicks. Her Loss!

February 2, 2013

I know that feel, bro. But now you have that resolve to never get treated like **** again. And at age 22, you've obtained it a LOT earlier than I have. You've got plenty of time to meet someone who is a great honorable woman.

February 2, 2013

It's alright cav, I know you didn't mean any harm. And I don't fault her for wanting to experience other things, I know it's normal and I had those feelings too once. But I just really lost respect for the way she went about it. Yeah I have a hard time cutting her out completely so I know some of the responsibility is mine. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Hopefully this will make it easier for me to let go.

You never mention actually having a conversation with her about it, only the "he said, she said" and grapevine second hand info. Also, you saw her once since deciding to work things out back in December? While I believe she lied and cheated on you, are you sure about the slutting around? Not like it matters, since she clearly played you anyway.

Are you still in contact with her?

I've actually seen her quite a bit at school because our schedules just happen To line up. I've "met" with her 3 times since December. Went to coffee, dinner and movie, and out to the bar. I was talking to her regularly since new years but yes she finally admitted to me on Friday all this. Didnt say exactly that she was sleeping around but she basically said it in girl code because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

After her telling me all this I told her that I was done trying and basically told her off but not in a really mean way or anything. She got all freaked out and I could tell she wasn't expecting it. I told her to go do her thing but I'm walking away and I'm done being her emotional toy while she ****s other guys. She's texted me three times since then, and I haven't responded. I'm not going to.

February 2, 2013

That really sucks man. I really felt for you when I read your post. at least it was pretty much outside your control ie it was her doing not yours. Its even worse you lose someone through your own actions e.g. drive them away by acting like an d**k or something and then realizing the error of your ways. Then you have guilty added to the mix.

Just go to NC and in time you'll forget about her. Don't fall for anymore of her tricks. Seriously - halt all communication with her!

You sound like a great guy and will have no prob picking up better (and more loyal) chicks. Her Loss!

Thanks a lot for the kind words. Yeah I really thought it was all me at first but I realize that it's just her going through whatever it is she's going through.

Oh stop it, of course you will....

22....?

yeah - you will.

I know, just seems so hard right now :/

Bahaha did we date? I'm sorry but this sounds exactly like my last relationship to the t. I will have to admit though it wasn't my greatest point in life and I completely regret all of it, but on the other hand my ex was pulling the same ****. Wether he likes to admit or not. I'm just saying I would have never done that of he never had because I was so hurt I wanted him to feel what I was feeling. Obviously I learned a great deal from the whole experience. Just something for you to think about.

I understand what your saying but I never did anything like this to her ever so I don't think she can justify her actions.

February 3, 2013

She didn't change, mate. She was always like that. Forget everything she said to you. Every time she said I love you, was a lie. Every time she said she missed you, was a lie. She was just saying what she thought you wanted to hear. Everything out of her mouth is b.s. Trust me! Dated a chick like that a few years ago. Run for ze hills! Count yourself lucky that you never had a serious commitment with the her. I just feel bad for the poor guy that actually marries the chick.

February 3, 2013

She didn't change, mate. She was always like that. Forget everything she said to you. Every time she said I love you, was a lie. Every time she said she missed you, was a lie. She was just saying what she thought you wanted to hear. Everything out of her mouth is b.s. Trust me! Dated a chick like that a few years ago. Run for ze hills! Count yourself lucky that you never had a serious commitment with the her. I just feel bad for the poor guy that actually marries the chick.

I really don't believe that everything was fake And a lie. Maybe I should look at it that way to make it easier. But spending four years with someone almost everyday I think would be near impossible to lie.

She texted me again saying her trying to talk is her trying to work things out.

February 3, 2013

No, you need to realize what takes a long time to figure out. You can spend years with a person, and never truly know them. This forum is filled with people like you, saying the same stuff. "I don't understand what happened." How could she just change like this?" I'm telling you, no one changes that drastically. You were just something to do till she found something better to do. The only reason shes talking to you now is because she likes the attention youre giving her, and how desperate you are. I know that sounds harsh, but trust an old man like me. If you are at a point when you're "working" on a relationship. It's all ready over. Move on. Truth is, she'll come running back in a few months, and by then you won't even care. Trust me, trust me, trust me! And one last thing. Don't focus on what a woman says. Look at what she does. If she wanted to be with you, she would. Is she committed to you? No! so There's your answer, mate! Move on.

February 3, 2013

No, you need to realize what takes a long time to figure out. You can spend years with a person, and never truly know them. This forum is filled with people like you, saying the same stuff. "I don't understand what happened." How could she just change like this?" I'm telling you, no one changes that drastically. You were just something to do till she found something better to do. The only reason shes talking to you now is because she likes the attention youre giving her, and how desperate you are. I know that sounds harsh, but trust an old man like me. If you are at a point when you're "working" on a relationship. It's all ready over. Move on. Truth is, she'll come running back in a few months, and by then you won't even care. Trust me, trust me, trust me! And one last thing. Don't focus on what a woman says. Look at what she does. If she wanted to be with you, she would. Is she committed to you? No! so There's your answer, mate! Move on.

Yeah I've always believed actions speak louder than words and talk is very cheap. So I hear you on that point. Yeah I know she's not committed. It's weird because when we were together she seemed like the one who was more into the long term commitment but now there is absolutely no commitment on her part. Just a sad time right now.

February 3, 2013

Sorry to hear this. I've been in a similar situation myself, so I can sympathize. But, as others have mentioned, this experience will serve you well in the future. Until then, try to stay positive and keep your head up.

And kudos for having the resolve to put an end to it.

February 4, 2013

Sorry to hear this. I've been in a similar situation myself, so I can sympathize. But, as others have mentioned, this experience will serve you well in the future. Until then, try to stay positive and keep your head up.

And kudos for having the resolve to put an end to it.

Yeah I'm doing my best but it's only the beginning.. Hopefully I can stay strong.

February 6, 2013

Well my ex has been texting me since Friday almost everyday. My brother ran into her and she told him to tell me to stop ignoring her... Lol I got a " hey..." Later that night. I haven't responded but did run into her at school yesterday and I just said hello. She said hi , are you going to answer me? (Her texts) She stopped and looked like she was going to try and talk but I just kept Walking and said no.

February 6, 2013

You should have kept on walking....said nothing..... and left her question unanswered.

Now she's going to persist a whole bit more....

But we shall see.

I doubt it will stop her, because at least you acknowledged her. She might believe she still has a crack available......

February 6, 2013

Gloats that she has you in her pocket? Must feel good to realize that she has a hole in that pocket so you can escape!

February 6, 2013

You should have kept on walking....said nothing..... and left her question unanswered.
Now she's going to persist a whole bit more....

But we shall see.
I doubt it will stop her, because at least you acknowledged her. She might believe she still has a crack available......

Yeah I should have but it was very unexpected and I didn't really have time to think lol. And ya it hasn't stopped her at all because I just got a text from her saying "I know you'll probably ignore this but I really want to talk." Then my mom just saw her at the gym and said that they talked for a long time. My ma said she was really sad and told her she wanted to try 100%. Lolol she didn't seem to wana try 100% when she was banging that other guy.

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My ex is seriously messed up...

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