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First date question

pstrygdess

By pstrygdess
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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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Hi everyone!

 

I met a guy online and we have been talking for about 2 weeks. Earlier this week, we set up a date to meet tonight. He lives about 45 miles from me. We planned to meet half way and he said he would find a place and get back to me. This morning, I get a text from him asking to meet at this place that is 5 minutes from him. On a good day it would take me an hour to drive there, but today it's snowing and it would be a 1.5-2 hour drive. What happened to half way?

 

I need some advice on how to handle this... any is appreciated.

 

Thanks

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Welcome to LS. I'm not understanding why the drive? If you live in Chicago, take the train, he can pick you up from the closest station. Otherwise, he's testing you.

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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Investigate some alternatives and give him options that are more convenient and equal to both of you.

 

Simple.

rocketman122 Established Member

rocketman122

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Hi everyone!

 

I met a guy online and we have been talking for about 2 weeks. Earlier this week, we set up a date to meet tonight. He lives about 45 miles from me. We planned to meet half way and he said he would find a place and get back to me. This morning, I get a text from him asking to meet at this place that is 5 minutes from him. On a good day it would take me an hour to drive there, but today it's snowing and it would be a 1.5-2 hour drive. What happened to half way?

 

I need some advice on how to handle this... any is appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

 

say that exact same thing to him but with a :) at the end. he's a schmuck for not doing halfway and also because its snowing and he didnt offer to come.

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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He's an idiot.

 

Next.

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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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Otherwise, he's testing you.

 

What kind of test can that possibly be?

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Your personal boundaries. How willing are you to jump at his offer in the face of your agreement and weather conditions.

 

He's a guy. Come meet n greet close to his place, weather is bad, better stay the night. How clueless are you sweetie?

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Do you mind revealing your age? It's relevant to us establishing a level of experience. Are you beyond student years, a working, independent adult?

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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What kind of test can that possibly be?

 

A test of how gullible and subservient you will be.

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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NEVERRRRR drive to a guy's area on a first date. That's just desperate, you should make them put some effort in. Do NOT go there, ok?

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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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I'm 30. I have focused more on my career than on dating. I'm not clueless, it's just refreshing to hear other peoples thoughts.

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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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NEVERRRRR drive to a guy's area on a first date. That's just desperate, you should make them put some effort in. Do NOT go there, ok?

 

My thoughts exactly.

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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Thanks for the additional info. I'd say LS folks have a consensus!

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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NEVERRRRR drive to a guy's area on a first date. That's just desperate, you should make them put some effort in. Do NOT go there, ok?

 

Replace guy with girl and its still equally true.

OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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So if your not interested in him why not just tell him buzz off

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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Replace guy with girl and its still equally true.

 

:laugh: Well guys drove or took the public transit to my area in almost every first date I've had. I think guys happily will do it if they really want to meet a girl.

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Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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The thing is girls are not as intrested in guys as guys are in girls.

 

The OP wouldn't really care if she went on a date with this guy or not, so by nature he has to put in all the effort.

 

This makes zero sense. I would never accept a date with a girl that didn't want to out in her share of effort. And of you Guys think that's okay behavior, then you blow my mind.

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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And that's the thing. If a guy has a date with a girl he really does want to meet her... while she on the other hand couldn't care less. Therefore she won't put in any effort.

 

I care about my dates. I just don't want to date someone who has low interest in me. It's doomed to fail.

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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No, not enough to put in any effort anyway.

 

How old are you?

Fondue Established Member

Fondue

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For first dates, I think it was to be half way between the both of you. Neither of you should be traveling to the other. Put in equal effort, this is mutual reciprocation, thus equates to mutual attraction in the end.

 

If I was trying to see a woman and she was keen on me going to see her, yet she wasn't going to make the effort to meet me half way, I would NEXT her.

 

I think that is stuck-up behavior.

OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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I'm confused if she didn't want make the drive cause the weathers bad which makes sense and isn't looking to date then what was she looking for?

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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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It's not that I'm not interested in him. Obviously talking to him for 2 weeks shows that I am. I just don't think that I should be driving 2 hours to meet him for the first time while he doesn't. We agreed on half way and then last minute it was "hey, come here. In case I don't like you in person, I can be home or out with someone else in a few minutes".

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Nevermind I see where you coming from just had a brain fart.smh Ya though I your willing to make the drive and he can't put the effort then hes not worth it.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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He's an idiot.

 

Next.

Agreed. I've dated a few guys who live in the 'burbs 30-45 minutes away. They always offer to come to the city to a place near me - not just for the first date, but for most or all of the dates after that.

 

I wouldn't even bother with a guy who asked me to go to him.

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pstrygdess New Member

pstrygdess

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It's done. He texted me that if I drove out to him, he would pay for the drinks.

 

One word.... douchebag.

 

Thanks everyone for the insight.

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