GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Well, after last night's weak moment...today, I broke NC. I don't know what made me do it, I really don't. I think I felt as if I was over it (mind playing tricks?) so I thought, to hell with it! I texted her 'hey' and she replied with a 'yooo'. I asked how she'd been, and she said 'surviving'... Then I asked what she was up to, she said chilling with her friend (mind into overdrive, a friend? or a "friend"?) then I just said oh, cool then a smiley face was sent in reply. That's it. It took me about half an hour to post this, as I was doing so well, and I feel so embarrassed that I went ahead and broke NC. : Edited February 2, 2013 by GlassesSeventy
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 So you should be. Tell me.... Was it worth it?
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 So you should be. Tell me.... Was it worth it? Not at all. Not worth it in the slightest.
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Damn. And here was I hoping..... See... I always hope I'm wrong in my personal stance. I always hope someone is going to be able to turn round and tell me - "Yo all! I broke NC, and spoke to her/him last night - and we both thought it was the best thing we could ever have done!" Jeezus, I sometimes wish the NC guide wasn't so damn spot-on. I'm sorry. I hope you're ok, and not feeling too down....
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well. If your going to break NC its better to learn lesson early than later on. 1
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 When did you start NC? 8 days ago.
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Well...after our initial conversation, I asked her what else she'd been up to - this conversation is all via Whatsapp, so we can both see when we're online/last seen etc - and she's come and gone offline a few times without even replying. I guess I have my answer to the way she feels about me - she doesn't.
incandescent Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 no glasses! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! i dont blame you though man, it is tough... i did it after a week aswell... just dont do it again. although i did... a month later, sending her a lovely email telling her exactly what i think of her, dont do that either ;P
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I vote since you broke NC you might as well get it all out of your system today and tommorow. Keep on texting, waiting forever for the response, analyzing every morsel etcetera. It is pure misery to go from the one they love to getting almost nothing in return. This way you will happily crawl back to NC beat down and realize it is the only way not to go totally and completely bat sh*t insane. Not kidding. Cav 2
LostGirl11 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 She will reply when she's bored, and you will get a high from it, then she won't reply and you'll be down again. Delete and block her on any apps you have her on. Seriously do it now. 3
Samilia Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well...after our initial conversation, I asked her what else she'd been up to - this conversation is all via Whatsapp, so we can both see when we're online/last seen etc - and she's come and gone offline a few times without even replying. I guess I have my answer to the way she feels about me - she doesn't. So you never really started NC...
Minadee Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Tomorrow is a new day my friend. I wish you all the strength in the world. 1
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Alright - just an update, really. She replied, and we got into a little talk about her, and that she's actually moving away. It was a very lighthearted conversation, tbh - even a bit of humour at points. It then moved on to the subject of 'us' and I was told that she doesn't hate me, hates herself (we argued a lot) and that she's OK with meeting up in the future as friends, but needs time to heal (not over me, something else that happened to her). I think a lot of my pain was coming from the fact that I thought she hated me, or disliked me in some way...it doesn't look like reconciliation is on the cards, I'm under no illusions. I feel a sense of closure, although I am kinda sad she's moving away but - I feel a bit....relieved? I don't know if this is usual. I think the fact that she's moving away is a blessing in disguise Edited February 2, 2013 by GlassesSeventy
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 no glasses! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! i dont blame you though man, it is tough... i did it after a week aswell... just dont do it again. although i did... a month later, sending her a lovely email telling her exactly what i think of her, dont do that either ;P Lol, I know, I know...I feel a bit better though...I've actually got closure...
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Lol, I know, I know...I feel a bit better though...I've actually got closure... You already had it when she left. You just got reconfirmation. Lol 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You should be really thankful. You have no idea how rare that is.... some people would give their eye-teeth for that. I'm glad for you. Really, I am. It's a 'broke NC' story that actually worked. 1
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 You should be really thankful. You have no idea how rare that is.... some people would give their eye-teeth for that. I'm glad for you. Really, I am. It's a 'broke NC' story that actually worked. Thanks, Tara - I am very thankful.
SendHope Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm glad that didn't turn out all that too terrible for you. My ex contacted me today as I am nearing only 3 days of NC. "U ok?" So short but I found it nice that she thought about me. Sadly, I replied. I only replied a blank space and left it alone so it could have been much worse for me. I figured she's trying to get some relief from guild on her end and possible ego strokes ("I love you" from me etc). With this NC thing, I think even the best will falter and it's ok. Learn and move on.
geegirl Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Lol, I know, I know...I feel a bit better though...I've actually got closure... As long as it gave you what you were seeking. Seldom get dumpers giving you the closure that you need. Good for you. Now you can shut that door and start focusing on moving forward. It will be hard but it will be worth it. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm slightly confused as to what closure is? When my ex broke up with me all the reasons etcetera were understood by both of us ad nauseum for weeks prior to the final d-day. I understood her reasons etcetera and actually agreed for the most part. That being said I didn't want to break up. So did i get closure there? Because everything was on the table? I even got a super nice email the last day I saw her blah blah blah appreciating all the years together. I think there is also the closure concept of being at peace with the breakup. I'm not there 100 % yet. But i don't have questions per se. Did i get closure in the sense it is being discussed here? Cav
Hopeful714 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say it's when you ARE at peace and indifferent to your ex and moved on with the realization of why the BU happened, what the problems were in the relationship, and what your contributions to the problems were and how you will prevent them from happening in the future. Also, understanding the ex's side of things to the best of your ability. Really tho..I'm not exactly there yet, so can't say for sure....just speculation. The thought of me having complete closure kinda hurts for me to think about it...so yea....Im a ways off yet too. 1
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say it's when you ARE at peace and indifferent to your ex and moved on with the realization of why the BU happened, what the problems were in the relationship, and what your contributions to the problems were and how you will prevent them from happening in the future. Also, understanding the ex's side of things to the best of your ability. Really tho..I'm not exactly there yet, so can't say for sure....just speculation. The thought of me having complete closure kinda hurts for me to think about it...so yea....Im a ways off yet too. Definitely this. Of course, I'm still sad that we are no longer together, and do want to talk to her every day BUT I feel at peace now, and am looking into the future, rather than into the past. The sadness I feel is more of a nostalgic sadness now, rather than a I-Want-Her-Back-Now kind of sadness. It wasn't the right relationship, the right time, just wasn't right for either of us. Also, her moving away is the biggest thing - I HAVE to get over her, there can't possibly be a future for us, so in my mind that option has been totally shut down.
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I'm glad that didn't turn out all that too terrible for you. My ex contacted me today as I am nearing only 3 days of NC. "U ok?" So short but I found it nice that she thought about me. Sadly, I replied. I only replied a blank space and left it alone so it could have been much worse for me. I figured she's trying to get some relief from guild on her end and possible ego strokes ("I love you" from me etc). With this NC thing, I think even the best will falter and it's ok. Learn and move on. Was your ex the one who dumped you? Did she reply to your message?
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I'm slightly confused as to what closure is? When my ex broke up with me all the reasons etcetera were understood by both of us ad nauseum for weeks prior to the final d-day. I understood her reasons etcetera and actually agreed for the most part. That being said I didn't want to break up. So did i get closure there? Because everything was on the table? I even got a super nice email the last day I saw her blah blah blah appreciating all the years together. I think there is also the closure concept of being at peace with the breakup. I'm not there 100 % yet. But i don't have questions per se. Did i get closure in the sense it is being discussed here? Cav I think it's just when you feel at peace - you still feel sad, but realise and accept the situation. I don't know, it might mean something else to someone else.
Recommended Posts