somedude81 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 So how hard was it to hook up with her? Did you have to do anything out of the ordinary?
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 So how hard was it to hook up with her? Did you have to do anything out of the ordinary? This may surprise a number of people here, but my game is actually pretty decent. I dress well, have good stories, can make people laugh, like to drink, and know cool/hip restaurants and bars in multiple cities. So, in a sense, I pulled out all the stops, but I usually do for most dates. and still get rejected. The key was that I expected rejection until the very end of the date, when we ended up hooking up. My advice to you is to do the same, so that when you do get rejected, you will be able to move on quite nicely. And when you do succeed, you can just play it by ear.
Shaun-Dro Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 So, I had a date on Thursday, and I hooked up. This confirms some truths that many on this site refuse to admit. 1) Nobody in real life can tell that you are bitter or whiny, lack confidence or self-esteem, are a misogynist, etc online. All of the people here who are telling you that your personality sucks, and that women can smell bitter men from a mile away, and that's why you are not getting women, don't buy into it. That is not the reason. I'm pretty sure your real life personality is fine. 2) It's mostly about looks and women are picky. Just keep at it and try and stay reasonably within your stretch on the food chain. Do that, and take your rejections. 3) I wish there was more to life than #2, but that's pretty much it. It's a dog eat dog game on the food chain. This is true to an extent. Most women can see a man and instantly say, "na he's not my type." just by looking at him. But this mosty happens in simple passing scenarios and it also depends on the woman's mindset at the time. For example: if the woman has been hurt by too many good-looking men in a short span, she'll automatically gravitate to a lesser-looking guy just to get over that hard luck. But of course, she'll naturally run right back to the men she's always craved and been hurt by. This is a endless cycle. Another example: if a man knows how to play the relaxed, confidant kind of guy, average in looks, has a job, and just doesn't give a **** what those think (alas myself) he can also land more than he misses. So yes, it is all about the luck of the draw, so us men have to keep on pulling out those numbers until we find a winner.
SJC2008 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 This may surprise a number of people here, but my game is actually pretty decent. I dress well, have good stories, can make people laugh, like to drink, and know cool/hip restaurants and bars in multiple cities. So, in a sense, I pulled out all the stops, but I usually do for most dates. and still get rejected. The key was that I expected rejection until the very end of the date, when we ended up hooking up. My advice to you is to do the same, so that when you do get rejected, you will be able to move on quite nicely. And when you do succeed, you can just play it by ear. Did you pick her up? How did you get her to come over??
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Did you pick her up? How did you get her to come over?? None of that matters. But yes I did.
SJC2008 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 None of that matters. But yes I did. I know for sure I wouldn't have the balls to ask a woman over on a first date that's why I asked how you set it up. Didn't mean to pry...
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I know for sure I wouldn't have the balls to ask a woman over on a first date that's why I asked how you set it up. Didn't mean to pry... Oh no. I didn't take offense. She invited me over actually. We didn't have sex but we fooled around a lot. 1
Necris Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 T The key was that I expected rejection until the very end of the date, when we ended up hooking up. My advice to you is to do the same, so that when you do get rejected, you will be able to move on quite nicely. And when you do succeed, you can just play it by ear. I do find expecting rejection to make you feel alot better about the rejection, when you think you aren't going to be rejected and you do end up getting rejected you are shocked and it feels terrible. But when you expect rejection and you are rejected the feeling is more of a neutral feeling you don't feel particularly bad but you don't feel good, you just accept it. Rejection begins to feel natural and inevitable. For people afraid of rejection just learn to accept and expect rejection it takes alot of the fear out of you when you expect it.
Keenly Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I do find expecting rejection to make you feel alot better about the rejection, when you think you aren't going to be rejected and you do end up getting rejected you are shocked and it feels terrible. But when you expect rejection and you are rejected the feeling is more of a neutral feeling you don't feel particularly bad but you don't feel good, you just accept it. Rejection begins to feel natural and inevitable. For people afraid of rejection just learn to accept and expect rejection it takes alot of the fear out of you when you expect it. To add to this, the regret of wondering "what if" after hesitating and letting the chance pass is far greater than the momentary sting of rejection, which quickly fades.
runner Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I do find expecting rejection to make you feel alot better about the rejection, when you think you aren't going to be rejected and you do end up getting rejected you are shocked and it feels terrible. But when you expect rejection and you are rejected the feeling is more of a neutral feeling you don't feel particularly bad but you don't feel good, you just accept it. Rejection begins to feel natural and inevitable. For people afraid of rejection just learn to accept and expect rejection it takes alot of the fear out of you when you expect it. more importantly, don't take it so bloody personally. i mean really, at the end of the day, it's really not that big of a deal. keep yourself in a place of abundance and believe in yourself. if you approach a women believing that your not worthy of being with her, then you've already lost half the battle at that point.
irc333 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 "Sense" is just a buzzword used when someone hears the content of the conversation. Someone can only tell you're bitter if for instance, are talking about your ex all the time , how much of a witch she is....usually on a consistent basis. Then the woman, that's trying to get to know you HEARS all this (note, HEARS not "sense" as if she were a Jedi)....and figures "Hey, listen I'm sorry about your situation, I really am...but I think you need to get over that first before you even date...good luck to you". Or, when a guy is being argumentative about everything...even to things that are minor. Congrats JJS. And yes, nobody can tell somebody is bitter unless that person is actually acting like a bitter fool. I also agree with you that they can tell if a guy is insecure and inexperienced 1
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 This may surprise a number of people here, but my game is actually pretty decent. I dress well, have good stories, can make people laugh, like to drink, and know cool/hip restaurants and bars in multiple cities. So, in a sense, I pulled out all the stops, but I usually do for most dates. and still get rejected. The key was that I expected rejection until the very end of the date, when we ended up hooking up. My advice to you is to do the same, so that when you do get rejected, you will be able to move on quite nicely. And when you do succeed, you can just play it by ear. Heh, then you haven't actually been one of the "struggling dudes" during your time on this forum. As you know, we are a highly exclusive group of guys who don't know crap about women and haven't even kissed a girl in the past five years. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to turn in your membership card. 2
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Heh, then you haven't actually been one of the "struggling dudes" during your time on this forum. As you know, we are a highly exclusive group of guys who don't know crap about women and haven't even kissed a girl in the past five years. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to turn in your membership card. Ha. I've BEEN 5 years without kissing a woman. And I've been rejected and friendzoned a ridiculous amount of times. Trust me. I relate to you guys a lot better than the other guys on this forum. You guys are like my bros. You remind me so much of me. :o:o 1
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