magpii Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I just don't know what to do anymore. He is busy; there's no denying that. He's in his 4th year of a BMus and is trying to break into an incredibly competitive industry. He probably has a legitimate case of ADD as well. I, on the other hand, am currently crippled by mental illness and an eating disorder. I go to school too but I do not feel the need to put in the same effort he does. I do not know how a relationship is supposed to be. I only see him once a week, twice if I'm lucky. I feel as though he hates me because he doesn't give me enough attention. We don't go to the same school and while he is social, he doesn't really go out with his other friends too often. I feel like he ignores my texts. I've tried to break up with him a few times in my manic phases but I feel like at this point, he is just sort of giving up with me. I really don't know what to do. The internet tells me that if I'm not his first priority, I should let him go. I know that I should be more secure, but, forgive the cliche, it really is easier said than done. When we're together, it's great. It's the in between that I have problems with. He told me before we got together that he would be busy. I'm scared of being stuck in a truly crap relationship but I'm more scared of letting him go because I'm so insecure. Please help. Thank you.
ja123 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 You are both young and in school. Chances are this relationship isn't headed towards long-term marriage. It's more of a question of life-stages than anything to do with you personally. Enjoy the times you have with him, but work on filling your inner void yourself - no one can do it for you - if you don't learn that, then yopu'll drive the good 'uns away and draw bad, abusive 'uns to ya because you'll put up with any crap so as not to be alone. Check out David Burns' books Feeling Good and 10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem. Best wishes.
Yookie Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Change your focus. At your age this all seems like a very big deal.. but trust that you will look back and wonder why you ever tried to revolve your life around this guy's attention or lack thereof. 1st priority is to focus on and fix your issues. You need to learn how to manage your illness before you can hope to have a successful relationship. Secondly, focus on things that will benefit you in the long run... your studies, your passions (outside of relationships), and your interest. Spend your time cultivating these instead of running behind this guy. If he's the right one, it will work out in the end. Sounds like his priorities are in the right order but yours are not. 1
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