New2Love4Now Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 She dumped me and I took it really hard and made every mistake possible (begging, pleading, crying). A week went by and we had a normal conversation that ended well. However, I'm a complete idiot and wasn't satisfied with the girl at least not hating me, so 3 days later I texted again saying I wanted to get something off my chest. She said "suuree" and I sent a few messages apologizing and explaining why I acted the way I did. She didn't respond. I panicked like a fool and sent another saying I wasn't trying to get her back I just didn't want to stop all contact. She didn't respond. I sent another message trying to maybe lighten the tension and said something like "I feel like a crazy stalker when you don't reply D: Can't we talk for a little?" (We both used tons of emoticons when we were together and in the friendly conversation before this one) No reply. That night and the day after were absolutely terrible and filled with anxiety. I could feel twitching under my skin. I'm so extremely mad at myself I've almost punched myself in the jaw several times. I just want to beat myself with a shovel Here's my question: Is it official now that this girl hates me? I feel like she hates my guts for continuing to push. If she does hate me, will she hate me forever? I still have feelings for this girl and the idea of her hating me drives me crazy. Do I try to contact her one last time apologizing again and just trying to end on good terms? I have no idea what to do right now I would greatly appreciate some help
meeji Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 she probably doens't hate you but realizes that you guys can't try to be friends. She is seeing that you have taken things pretty hard and she knows that its because of her. She probably accepted the fact that you need more time to heal. she is giving you space. If you can help it, don't contact her again. Just let things settle for a while.
Author New2Love4Now Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Thanks meeji. Should I try to contact after some time to try to smooth things over? Or is it likely that she doesn't care at this point and I should leave her alone for good?
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You cannot ever hope to be friends with someone for whom you have strong feelings. It cannot work, because you have far too much emotionally invested. Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (updated 2013). That will tell you everything you need, in order to handle this the right way. because sure as eggs is laid, you're currently handling it the wrong way......
skings Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 IMHO, it is for your own good if you don't hear from her. It will be hard as hell but you will get through. Stop sending any more texts until you hear back from her. I was doing okay after my BU until I saw my ex's FB status (in a relationship) 2 weeks later . I sent her a message on FB and said 'PLEASE DO NOT REPLY'. Maybe it is reverse psychology or something, she went on and on how she still loves me and has feelings for me and cant stand to think of me being with some other girl. All it gave me was false hopes and few darkest days of my life. I tend to think I may have been better had she not replied at all (because i was subsequently going to defriend her right after the initial message but never did because of the follow up). Not sure if I am making sense but the advice I received was "give her space and time to think". Good luck
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Thanks meeji. Should I try to contact after some time to try to smooth things over? Or is it likely that she doesn't care at this point and I should leave her alone for good? No contact. Leave her 100 percent alone. Nothing. You need to recover your self respect. Silence is the only way. No apologies nothing. She understands and doesn't hate you. She just wants you to go away. If you don't THEN she will hate you..not that it matters in the end. Week after BU I told my ex the f*off forever,never contact me unless she was dying and preferably contact some one else in that scenario. I changed all her passwords without her permission. ..so i couldnt see her social media stuff. Didn't apologise..man was she mad. She still sent me nice email a few months later after pure NC telling me how much she remembers me so fondly ecetera. Didn't respond. They don't hate you. They just want you to leave. 1
Author New2Love4Now Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Thank you cavalier this made me feel a lot better! The reason why I feel like she hates me is because earlier on in the break up she told me that she'd learn to hate me if I didn't move on. I definitely feel like I pushed too much... I mean she didn't respond at all and I just imagine her hating my guts now. It's so hard to deal with because she used to be so in love with me and so sweet. I wish I never got myself into this. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Listen man. Even the most civil breakup aren't easy and there is almost always some begging texting etcetera the 1st week. I was told to control myself..ouch. Right now you need to recover you self respect and stop digging a big hole. The hole has to do more with your self esteem at the end of the day. Go NC and the craziness will recede after the 1st few weeks (which feels like years) then time return to normal and you are moved to another part of hell to continue suffering and healing. Lol It does get a lot better. Trust me. But right now the only thing you should be thinking is NO CONTACT under any circumstances. It is survival time. 2
Author New2Love4Now Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice. I will definitely go no contact as hard as it is sometimes. Do girls hold grudges for a long time over things like this? I feel like I made her guilty by continuing to contact her which is why she might dislike me right now, if not hate me. Over time will she at least become neutral with her opinion of me?
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