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Well today's my date

OCCDAVE

By OCCDAVE
in Dating

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I still stand by my claim, please update us OP.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Finally a good update

 

Her-hey,8 sounds real great

Her-sorry about earlier was busy

 

 

Im gonna go out on a limb and say when I contacted her earlier thats why she wasnt to into the convo.We chatted for awhile now and I think if she wasnt interested she would just say so.Not sure why it took all day .Owell thanks for everyone who's replied :)

 

Glad to here that but she wasn't to busy to text "I dunno tbh" so I'm having a hard time reading this one. TBS it sounds like a date, good luck and keep us posted!

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Too late I see... You already texted her.
It was an art fest and after was an after party.Maybe I should have just taken that invite hell would have been alot cheaper and at least I wouldn't have far to go if she pulls something at the party .Ugh what a long day .
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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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I still stand by my claim, please update us OP.
Why not just straight up tell me ... Look tbh with you I'm not interested take care bye . I dunno maybe this will turn out well but I do have mixed feelings
SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Things get lost in translation in dating VERY easy. People are very afraid of coming on too strong BUT don't articulate well and come off as not interested, it's a hard line to toe if you will. So that's why I'd give the benefit of the doubt. Afterall, she did invite you out once already so let's see what happens!

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Honestly, it doesn't matter if it works out or not. It is not in your hands anymore - to create chemistry. It either happens or not. You've done all that was in your power to make it happen. Ideally, next time you even enjoy the process :). I think it'll come with practice.

 

well played, mate, perseverance and consistency, well done !

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Things get lost in translation in dating VERY easy. People are very afraid of coming on too strong BUT don't articulate well and come off as not interested, it's a hard line to toe if you will. So that's why I'd give the benefit of the doubt. Afterall, she did invite you out once already so let's see what happens!

 

absolutely! plus, texting? OMG, so many nuances lost, messages sent too quickly or not quickly enough, read in a haste, not understood, jokes, hints, insecurities, responses, it's hard! that's why it's important to make your decision after the face to face meeting, not before.

 

sometimes, it's clear - if it's gonna work or not. But other times, you just might be surprised :laugh:!

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Things get lost in translation in dating VERY easy. People are very afraid of coming on too strong BUT don't articulate well and come off as not interested, it's a hard line to toe if you will. So that's why I'd give the benefit of the doubt. Afterall, she did invite you out once already so let's see what happens!
I guess but I feel kinda foolish cause I felt I came off as needy.But like I said I'm gonna take fact she said was busy and who knows maybe something comes up Friday before 8 .Then again I doubt you would maintain contact like this just for the hell of it

 

 

Thanks candi and every other user

clia Established Member

clia

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Many of us think it is. I have given away gift certificates for this place and I wouldn't eat there. Not a dump in that it isn't cheap, but a dump in that it is incredibly mediocre...:sick:

 

Look, I get where you are coming from. I live in Chicago and wouldn't dream of eating at Outback given the restaurant options in this town. But once upon a time, many years ago, I was a young gal in my 20s living in the suburbs of a Midwestern town, much like this woman. Maybe you have never had that perspective. But, chain restaurants are the norm in places like that and Outback is a better chain. Her text asking Dave if the non-chain restaurant he chose is like Olive Garden only solidifies my opinion that Outback would have been fine with her. There was a time in my life--again, many years ago--when I was thrilled to go to Olive Garden on a date. I'd still go there for the breadsticks! But, life is different in the Midwestern suburbs than in California. I've lived in both places.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed inappropriate comment
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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Well today I'm not contacting her them Friday ill send a we still on text .Im nervous I won't lie owell soon enough ill know :-/

sid3 Established Member

sid3

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Well today I'm not contacting her them Friday ill send a we still on text .Im nervous I won't lie owell soon enough ill know :-/

 

Friday can't come soon enough! I'm almost nervous for you. I think you'll do fine, don't forget chances are good that she's going to be a bit nervous too.

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Well last time we had plans I remember she said she was nervous so that makes two of us.I guess at this point I did what I can and you always hear women know in such and such amount of time of you get fz .Lets see what happens less then a day but seems like a week lol

 

Btw did I do make turning down her invite

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Well today I'm not contacting her them Friday ill send a we still on text .Im nervous I won't lie owell soon enough ill know :-/

 

Don't EVER send a are we still on text! You need to come off as the leader and not the follwer if you will. Saying are we still on may not sound bad but it's got an err of seeking approvoal to it. In a perfect world netiher party should have to confirm a date that is already set. I'd send her a "Hope your day is going good, I'm getting ready I'll see you tonight;)" or some variation of.

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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That sounds better only cause I'm driving 50 miles one way so I need some sort of green light.:)

Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

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Quite the saga, eh?:)

 

I agree with SJC. I have had guys ask if I'm planning to show up, and it can come across quite negatively under most circumstances.

 

Personally, I would say something like: Hope you had a great week. Looking forward to seeing you tonight at 8 at blah-blah-blah.:) Here's the address and phone number in case you need it. There's a great parking garage half a block away at XYZ.

 

She's probably as nervous as you are. Just relax and enjoy yourself. You're there to learn about her. No negative internal chatter or self-critique. No running analysis. Stay in the moment and have fun!:) If things go well, you enjoyed yourself, and you'd like a second date, ask for another date when you've walked her to her car. If you're too nervous or unsure, you can always call the next day instead, but it's easier to just ask when you're together. Hug or kiss at the end...please no handshakes!:p

sid3 Established Member

sid3

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Dave, I've only read the last few pages of this thread, but honestly dude....I would just let this fish swim away. Seems like you're putting in a ton of effort and she is lukewarm at best. Doesn't seem like much fun.

 

I disagree. Don't listen to this rubbish. :mad:

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Well update wow didn't see this coming

 

 

Hey Dave I need talk to you. I already met someone and he's been so nice with me so far and I don't think it is a good idea meet you too. Because it won't be fair with both of you. I'm sorry, about that.I just want to make things right .

 

 

Not even gonna get into then why agree to dinner ugh I feel sick

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Low interest girl, time waster.

 

Girls are only this difficult when they are not that into a guy.

 

It was obvious....

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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I feel beyond foolish not to mention played .I made reservations ,took the day off and now this sigh

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I feel beyond foolish not to mention played .I made reservations ,took the day off and now this sigh

 

Don't feel bad Dave, this girl did the wrong thing. She lead you on.

 

Unfortunately, because people are rarely upfront with you, you need to know how to read the signs and make educated guesses.

 

Hope you feel better soon :)

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Estate Established Member

Estate

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I feel beyond foolish not to mention played .I made reservations ,took the day off and now this sigh

 

Dave, I know it probably feels bad now but it'll be fine in a day or too.

 

Don't play the sympathy card with her, it will get you nowhere. Only make things worse.

Also, you were NOT played. I haven't read every post here but I think this was a first date? BOTH of you are completely within your rights to be dating other people and if she chose another guy then that sucks for you but you were NOT played. Feeling bitter or saying that will not help and you need to understand that in future. Nothing is solid until you have been dating a while.

 

Lastly, I get the feeling you may want to let her know these feelings... DO NOT!

Delete her number and be done with it. Tomorrow you start fresh and find a new girl.

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Don't feel bad Dave, this girl did the wrong thing. She lead you on.

 

Unfortunately, because people are rarely upfront with you, you need to know how to read the signs and make educated guesses.

 

Hope you feel better soon :)

we I'm no expert on women but if someone agrees to a dinner then add to fact they seem happy you don't expect this.Then of you really did meet this guy I doubt it was overnight .Sigh
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Dave, I know it probably feels bad now but it'll be fine in a day or too.

 

Don't play the sympathy card with her, it will get you nowhere. Only make things worse.

Also, you were NOT played. I haven't read every post here but I think this was a first date? BOTH of you are completely within your rights to be dating other people and if she chose another guy then that sucks for you but you were NOT played. Feeling bitter or saying that will not help and you need to understand that in future. Nothing is solid until you have been dating a while.

 

She did play him. And he should feel bitter. I don't necessarily agree with what is talked about here that people are free to treat you like garbage and all you do is put a smile on. F*** that. If he wants to feel bad, let him feel bad. Let him get it out of his system as opposed to letting it bottle up.

 

Dave, I'm sorry this happened. Best thing to do is to cut off all contact immediately. No sense in talking to this girl again.

 

In the future, look for stronger signs of interest. Logic plays no role in dating whatsoever. Remember that. You may think "well, she agreed to blah blah blah, so logic says, she's into me". As me and ES told you earlier, the chick wasn't into you. Setting up the date should not have been like pulling teeth. If people are interested, they make it work.

 

Anyway, she handled it pretty poorly to say the least, but chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.

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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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Dave, I know it probably feels bad now but it'll be fine in a day or too.

 

Don't play the sympathy card with her, it will get you nowhere. Only make things worse.

Also, you were NOT played. I haven't read every post here but I think this was a first date? BOTH of you are completely within your rights to be dating other people and if she chose another guy then that sucks for you but you were NOT played. Feeling bitter or saying that will not help and you need to understand that in future. Nothing is solid until you have been dating a while.

 

Lastly, I get the feeling you may want to let her know these feelings... DO NOT!

Delete her number and be done with it. Tomorrow you start fresh and find a new girl.

Your right we were not bf/gf so we still can date whoever .I just felt kinda ticked cause I didn't see this coming at all.I didn't reply to her text I read it then deleted it .I don't know much about women but no one likes the pity card :)
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OCCDAVE Established Member

OCCDAVE

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She did play him. And he should feel bitter. I don't necessarily agree with what is talked about here that people are free to treat you like garbage and all you do is put a smile on. F*** that. If he wants to feel bad, let him feel bad. Let him get it out of his system as opposed to letting it bottle up.

 

Dave, I'm sorry this happened. Best thing to do is to cut off all contact immediately. No sense in talking to this girl again.

 

In the future, look for stronger signs of interest. Logic plays no role in dating whatsoever. Remember that. You may think "well, she agreed to blah blah blah, so logic says, she's into me". As me and ES told you earlier, the chick wasn't into you. Setting up the date should not have been like pulling teeth. If people are interested, they make it work.

 

Anyway, she handled it pretty poorly to say the least, but chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.

true the whole pulling teeth to confirm an outing should have been my red flag she wasnt interested
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