candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 me thinks Titania isn't used to dating that much... get out of the house, girl, let the men spoil you, I am sure it's been a while ! Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 $13? And you're in Australia? What? There's always McDonald's. A couple of bucks for what some consider great, reasonably priced food. That's a great date in certain scenarios. As I said every guy has a clear idea of his price range and budget. I do not. All the more reason to let him decide what's reasonable since he asked me out. Why impose my views on him, particularly when guys insist on picking up the tab? Besides, you learn about him from his choices and his decision-making process, even if that choice consists of him asking you to pick something. The goal of dating is to find someone who is interested in you, compatible with you, and capable of giving you what you seek. That will be different things for different people. Thus, there are no right or wrong answers in dating. Just choices...and consequences. That OCCDave is on here doing research about an area he doesn't know says one thing. Dumping the planning in her lap and saying, "You figure it out," would say another. Either way, you get valuable insights into the person. He of course is gaining insights about her from her choices, her behavior, and her reactions. It's always a two-way street. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Well she isn't into sushi and told me she likes Italian,Mexican and Indian food. Personally, I would pick amongst these three types. It will show that you listen, pay attention, and are considerate and thoughtful about creating an enjoyable experience for her. At any rate, it can be a little irritating when someone actively solicits your preferences and then proceeds to ignore them. It tends to work against you. First dates are about putting your best foot forward, not telling someone "up yours" with the choices you make, unless of course you like self-sabotage. Think about a job interview. Do you start off with a bad attitude and a resentful list of what you will not do and what is beneath you? Or do you attempt to show that you are capable and eager to do your best? Both types eventually find jobs. The latter always gets more appealing jobs. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Depends on where he is living. Here is San Francisco, there are no Outback, Applebees, or Olive Garden within the confines of the city - and it would be unheard of to take a date to a restaurant of this ilk; they are that maligned and dismissed. I completely agree with you. However, he is not looking in the city -- he is going to the suburbs 65 miles outside the city where the choice of restaurants isn't nearly what they are in the city. If he was staying in the city I would never recommend a chain restaurant like Outback. For his purposes, though, I think it is perfectly fine. Outback isn't exactly a dump. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Outback isn't exactly a dump. got no idea what Outback is, but the phrase above... right there... nope! I don't think soft shell sea crab or oyster place is a better idea, either, but a place that's "not exactly a dump".... nooooooo ! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Personally, I would pick amongst these three types. It will show that you listen, pay attention, and are considerate and thoughtful about creating an enjoyable experience for her. At any rate, it can be a little irritating when someone actively solicits your preferences and then proceeds to ignore them. It tends to work against you. First dates are about putting your best foot forward, not telling someone "up yours" with the choices you make, unless of course you like self-sabotage. Think about a job interview. Do you start off with a bad attitude and a resentful list of what you will not do and what is beneath you? Or do you attempt to show that you are capable and eager to do your best? Both types eventually find jobs. The latter always gets more appealing jobs. So, women are jobs and men are the applicants? Bookmarked. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 got no idea what Outback is, but the phrase above... right there... nope! I don't think soft shell sea crab or oyster place is a better idea, either, but a place that's "not exactly a dump".... nooooooo ! LOL. Yes, generally shoot a little higher than "not exactly a dump" or "not bad.":laugh: Incidentally, is Outback Italian, Mexican, or Indian? Why bother to ask her what she likes, if he's not going to bother with her preferences anyway. Even in the boondocks, there can be incredible restaurants. With the internet, these are relatively easy to sniff out in every price range. I have had some surprisingly great and memorable experiences in the middle of nowhere. None of these involved a chain restaurant. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 So, women are jobs and men are the applicants? Bookmarked. Interesting conclusion to make! What we learn about human interaction in one setting can provide insights in another. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 got no idea what Outback is, but the phrase above... right there... nope! I don't think soft shell sea crab or oyster place is a better idea, either, but a place that's "not exactly a dump".... nooooooo ! LOL. I can see how what I said could be taken the wrong way. What I mean is that Outback is considered to be a higher end chain restaurant. It is way better than Applebee's, Olive Garden, etc. In other words, it is not a dump. I can't believe people are so aghast that he might take her there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Outback. Again, if he was looking in the city I would not recommend Outback. And yes, there may be some great "off the beaten path mom and pop type" places in whatever suburb he is going to. But he doesn't know them! He doesn't live there. He doesn't even know the area. In time, if he continues to date this girl, he can find those places. But sometimes those mom and pop places are gross. At least with a chain you know what you are going to get. I would personally be creeped out if a guy I was dating drove 130 miles round trip just to check out my area and restaurant before a first date. Dave, if you do this, please don't tell her you did it. I mean, people -- it's a first date. Yes, he wants to impress her, but there is no need to get so invested in it all this soon. There's no need to be spending hours on Yelp trying to figure out the perfect place. Sometimes overdoing it can be as much of a turn-off as underdoing it. Again, if she was coming to him, he was familiar with the area, and they were in the city, my advice would be different. I'm going with the facts as presented here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I totally agree on your point, clia, the restaurant choice must seem casual, just like the girls who say "oh, that old thing? I just threw a few things on", when in reality they've tried everything they had in their closet, haha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Outback is fine. You are way over thinking this. LOL. I can see how what I said could be taken the wrong way. What I mean is that Outback is considered to be a higher end chain restaurant. It is way better than Applebee's, Olive Garden, etc. In other words, it is not a dump. I can't believe people are so aghast that he might take her there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Outback. Again, if he was looking in the city I would not recommend Outback. And yes, there may be some great "off the beaten path mom and pop type" places in whatever suburb he is going to. But he doesn't know them! He doesn't live there. He doesn't even know the area. In time, if he continues to date this girl, he can find those places. But sometimes those mom and pop places are gross. At least with a chain you know what you are going to get. I would personally be creeped out if a guy I was dating drove 130 miles round trip just to check out my area and restaurant before a first date. Dave, if you do this, please don't tell her you did it. I mean, people -- it's a first date. Yes, he wants to impress her, but there is no need to get so invested in it all this soon. There's no need to be spending hours on Yelp trying to figure out the perfect place. Sometimes overdoing it can be as much of a turn-off as underdoing it. Again, if she was coming to him, he was familiar with the area, and they were in the city, my advice would be different. I'm going with the facts as presented here. OP, this is the kind of woman you are hoping your date will be. Outback is fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I work in marketing, JuneJulySeptember, and one thing I've learnt while doing my job: "you don't turn the mirror back to your consumers and give them what they are. You give them what they like or aspire at"... While I agree with your reasoning and I understand your point (he should aim at finding someone similar to him, his values, his lifestyle)... I believe you're not actually dead spot on this one. He has to go a notch higher, to impress her. Yes, try a bit harder 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) Well I'm going the Italian route there's alot more options .Should I shoot her the text/call today or Tomo .then Friday morning a small reminder asking we still on Thanks again for everyone who has replied even if it was kinda foolish Edited February 6, 2013 by OCCDAVE Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 ,I work in marketing, JuneJulySeptember, and one thing I've learnt while doing my job: "you don't turn the mirror back to your consumers and give them what they are. You give them what they like or aspire at"... While I agree with your reasoning and I understand your point (he should aim at finding someone similar to him, his values, his lifestyle)... I believe you're not actually dead spot on this one. He has to go a notch higher, to impress her. Yes, try a bit harder I do agree with your point. And if you look at my posts, my original idea was for him to upgrade. I started it. I wouldn't even suggest Outback for a female friend and I. But that is me. But when women come on here EXPECTING more than Outback Steakhouse, then that is most likely not the woman for a guy like OP or me. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Don't let this kind of post discourage you OCC. You are obviously a real downhome kinda guy, so this isn't the kind of woman you are looking for anyway. I would almost argue that using Applebees to weed women like this out might not be a bad idea. Take her to Outback. If she bails based on the fact that you didn't sufficiently impress her with your gastro-knowledge and inventiveness, SCREW HER. That's what kind of dude you are. I wouldn't even suggest Outback for a female friend and I. But that is me. Interesting approach to helping out a fellow guy! OP, to answer your question, I would let her know once you've finalized plans and then send a quick text confirming your date the morning of. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) Interesting approach to helping out a fellow guy! OP, to answer your question, I would let her know once you've finalized plans and then send a quick text confirming your date the morning of. Enjoy! I am helping him by getting him to avoid women who would 'cancel the date' if it were at Olive Garden. If that's you, fine. You're not the kind of woman OP wants. I take women to expensive places and buy them expensive gifts because they deserve. Not because they feel entitled to it because they are a female who gets attention. PS. Olive garden is Italian. Edited February 6, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 How about making the main point of the date something besides dinner? Depending on where you live, you could go ice skating. Or get a hot drink and walk around the neighborhood, and THEN when you get dinner it won't matter where you get it. Or maybe you could find a whole-in-the-wall place. A girl wants to feel special. She feels special not by you dumping a lot of cash, but instead by you coming up with something creative and inexpensive. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 that's crazy, you don't know what his date "expects", you just assume... it's up to Dave to judge that. And this has to be about David and how he wants to appear, what makes him comfortable, what pleases him, in order to ensure a nice background for his date. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 that's crazy, you don't know what his date "expects", you just assume... it's up to Dave to judge that. And this has to be about David and how he wants to appear, what makes him comfortable, what pleases him, in order to ensure a nice background for his date. Exactly. That's what I said the first time. It's up to him. Not some woman on a message board that says "she'd cancel the date if it were at Olive Garden" because it shows the man doesn't have what it takes to get her. Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I also think Outback is a good choice, it's a popular place around here. However, OP did you think of using yelp to find a restaurant in the area? Luckily these days with the internet and all, you don't have to drive to the town to look at restaurants, you can go online. Google 'restaurants in xyz town' and you should come up with some that actually have reviews. Most of the time the menus are right online. So you can see what kind of food they have, what the price range is, and also look at reviews of other people who have been there to know if it's a place worthy of going. I agree that at least with a chain you know what you're getting, but if you decide not to take her to a chain, this might be the best way of finding a restaurant that is more local, independently owned. I've been following this thread from the beginning, keep us updated! Good luck Curly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I feel like screaming at both you and Cutiepie!! You just don't KNOW! And it may be a bit insulting for David to have you label him as "the Olive Garden" type of guy and not "Outback Steakhouse"! What I'm trying to say is that ideally, his date should not care if Dave takes her to McDonalds or to Chez Pierre! Ideally!!! In reality, I am afraid she might. I've got no idea what the hell those two chain restaurants are, but the European here says chain restaurants are not good enough! He sure ain't datin' me, but I'm a woman and I know better! Now, Summertime and Cutiepie, kiss and make up!! Stay civil, no PDA, it's an open forum!! Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I have to say that I seriously don't care where a guy takes me on a first date. I am going for the company, not the food. Last Saturday I had a first date, we met 1/2 way (we live over an hour away from each other) at the Longhorn Steak House (a chain similar to Outback). There was a one hour wait. We decided instead to go to the Red Robin in the same parking lot. He kept asking me if I was 'sure that's o.k'. Absolutely. I wasn't looking for him to spend a lot of money on me (I offered to pay my share but he wouldn't hear of it), I was looking to meet HIM and have a conversation with HIM so I could get to know HIM. I think it's telling if the girl expects, on a first date, for a guy to drop a lot of money on a meal. It's too much. Dating is expensive. And it's not about the food for me, it's about the company. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I think it's telling if the girl expects, on a first date, for a guy to drop a lot of money on a meal. It's too much. Dating is expensive. And it's not about the food for me, it's about the company. What?!? You mean the guy failed to snag a reservation for a chain restaurant, and you had to go to a lower chain restaurant, but you were still interested in HIM? Like x 100! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Bit of an update not gonna bs I'm annoyed Me-hey how's it going Her-pretty good you Me-so so hey i found a place I think we should checkout Me-blah blah Her-oh is the food good? Me-ya I went awhile ago its good Her-is it like Olive Garden Me-nope it's better why ? Me-unless you'd rather go to McDonald No reply maybe shes busy at work I dunno .Im tempted to say hey I found another place but your not invited take care.Not trying to be jerk I just tried to drift away the whole chain food even if my wallet is taking a hit and I can't get a yes or no? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 you are soooo nice, I want to adopt you! but I can't, I bet we're the same age... or almost! Why, oh why did you say MCDONALDS when she asked "is the food good"? "Good food" and "MCDONALDS" don't ever go in the same phrase, unless under 20, wasted, out of a club and it's the only option to get warm food/ carbs (everything else is closed)... Sorry, Dave... First of all, what type of a person is she? Do you really like her? and what do you feel like doing? Link to post Share on other sites
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