Author OCCDAVE Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 How did you meet this girl? Was it OLD? I heard that the girls are very likely to flake and move to the next guy if you don't lock it down real quick.[/quote. Well towards end of feb I was bored and checking out online dating site .This girl caught my interest and I sent her a message .I wasnt expecting a reply but got one and it seemed we hit it off well.I then I wanna say Jan 2nd I asked for the number and got the whole right now I'm out of the country for business and my ph was stolen sorry .I thought to myself I should have known better told her been fun chatting take care.Mid week Jan I hear from her again I figured this was some spammer or something .I then get her number and we chatted but not much.I was gonna set up something that weekend but was out if town.Jan 27 I made plans and as everyone can see nothing happened due to weather ( or so she said)Im almost 30 and she recently turned 28 .I dunno I mean she shows interest and contacts me most times making first contact I just don't know.Ill follow what that user said she claimed she will call later today ( not holding my breathe ). Ill go mia till wednesday then mk plans Wednesday .thursday make small chat and confirm a Friday date and Friday be like ok see you at such and such .ill even offer to make the 65 mile drive (yippie ) I get another send off then ill cut contact cause in not gonna waste my time Link to post Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Approach life and dating expecting failure and invariably you get just that. It becomes the vibe you give off and bleeds insidiously into your communication and every interaction, as demonstrated even in the small snippet you shared here. You just end up shooting yourself in the foot with your current attitude. Either focus on making OLD work for you and put in a sincere and conscientious effort, or don't even bother trying. I've had guys enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to drive over 100 miles to see me for a first date. I've driven 45miles to a first date. Do or don't. There is no try which is where you are currently attempting to sit. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Approach life and dating expecting failure and invariably you get just that. Either focus on making OLD work for you and put in a sincere and conscientious effort, or don't even bother trying. I've had guys enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to drive over 100 miles to see me for a first date. I've driven 45miles to a first date. Do or don't. There is no try which is where you are currently attempting to sit. Bolded #2 is the reason you believe Bolded #1. Bolded #1 is completely untrue and I am a testament to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 Approach life and dating expecting failure and invariably you get just that. It becomes the vibe you give off and bleeds insidiously into your communication and every interaction, as demonstrated even in the small snippet you shared here. You just end up shooting yourself in the foot with your current attitude. Either focus on making OLD work for you and put in a sincere and conscientious effort, or don't even bother trying. I've had guys enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to drive over 100 miles to see me for a first date. I've driven 45miles to a first date. Do or don't. There is no try which is where you are currently attempting to sit.I wasn't trying to seem like a sour sport I just figured if I don't expect much then I won't be to disappointed (I know not the best method ) Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Something similar happened to me recently. Our 4th date was gonna be at a park. The morning of I get a text saying the weather doesn't look to good so I figure she doesn't want to go. I said yeah let's do it another time and she said she wanted to see me and I told her I wanted to see her an played it off with something like "I thought it was colder than it was because I didn't have a shirt on when I took the trash out". Ok so the moral of the story is that it looked like she didn't want to go and I didn't want to look desperate so I said xyz. So while it's not good to assume the worst why should we be left up with deciphering an ambiguous text? Just say whether or not you want to go. TBS you'll be lucky if you get a second date with the just forget it line. And why should she have mentioned the plans when she texted? You're as bad as I am:( 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 Eh I know Sj I still have alot of learning to learn in this dating game.Not to justify what I did but from what I picked up from everyone here she was just seeing if we were still on ? She did text me today we chatted small I asked her to call me she said later today (which she never did) then again she had hw.So my plan for next week is that a good method ? Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Eh I know Sj I still have alot of learning to learn in this dating game.Not to justify what I did but from what I picked up from everyone here she was just seeing if we were still on ? She did text me today we chatted small I asked her to call me she said later today (which she never did) then again she had hw.So my plan for next week is that a good method ? OK the times on the forum are differnt from my time so I don't know if the text she sent you in this post was AFTER you called her and told her about your attitude?? Assuiming the text was after your call I'd call her Wed to ask her out agian. Don't bring up the "attitude" unless she does. If she does just say you were bumed about the weather and didn't mean to come accross as non chalon. Don't ask a woman to call, you should of told her you'd call her later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Don't ask a woman to call, you should of told her you'd call her later. I never ask them to call, I tell them to. Told one Friday night as I was getting annoyed by her texts. Took her until Sunday to call. Turns out I'm not that suave though, she was looking for a favor. Bytches... Link to post Share on other sites
Talak7 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 You're horrible at texting Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 OK the times on the forum are differnt from my time so I don't know if the text she sent you in this post was AFTER you called her and told her about your attitude?? Assuiming the text was after your call I'd call her Wed to ask her out agian. Don't bring up the "attitude" unless she does. If she does just say you were bumed about the weather and didn't mean to come accross as non chalon. Don't ask a woman to call, you should of told her you'd call her later. I left the vm yesterday explaining how I was rude and it was a misunderstanding .Today I didn't mention it or harp on it.Ill call her Wednesday and set up plans.I will also never ask her to call text/call me again.Thanks again for everyone who has helped Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 One last thing if the trend of me waking up to a text from her continues like it has every morning just ignore it ? Btw talak not sure if you meant me or the other user in any event ya I guess I do suck at texting.Tbh I'd much rather talk on the ph but guess texting dominates things meh Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I don't know how you make it out of this one successfully In my opinion you didn't handle the initial date cancellation as bad as some have said, so you apologizing was admitting you were wrong/showing weakness in a situation where you didn't have to. After you cancelled the date because of the weather, you should have cooled off for a few days and texted her with a new frame. As if nothing ever happened. Get back into a groove, and then set up another date. Telling her to call you, only to have her not do it is enough evidence. This chick isn't into you. And every move you make just keeps digging the hole deeper. Take a break from contacting this chick unless she does it first, and don't apologize or bring up any of the recent stuff that happened. Move on like it never happened. That's the only way I see you doing damage control, and even then, doesn't guarantee anything. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Man, just bloody see her and see how it goes. If the feeling isn't there, you'll know it, she'll know it, everyone is happy. I don't know, if a guy makes an appointment with me, I expect him to show up, not cancel. Yes, on pouring rain and heavy snowfall, because it would show me that he wants to see me, and I like that - all women like to be shown in a mild way, interest. And reliability. That is very sexy, in my eyes. I also understand your insecurities, but you need to be open to the possibility that it might actually work. Not hope for it, not expect to get next. Just be open and look at the signs! She actually said "I really want to see you", that is major confirmation for you, why all the drama? Keep in touch, and most importantly, keep your dates, otherwise the girl will think you're giving her the "hot and cold behavior", signature for players who want to build the expectation in order to get into her panties faster. Yes, girls overthink and overanaylse too. Just go with it, you might actually have fun, she might actually like you and this might actually work. You never know! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I’m a little late to this party, but I have to comment. Her.hey it's very bad the weather here Me-I know as is here just forget it Her.but I wanna see u Me.well let me know Her .i will Er…yeah, you blew her off. "Just forget it"? Honestly, if a guy said that to me on a first date, I'd "just forget him." There were many more tactful ways to put it or to reschedule the date if the weather was that bad. Although, I have to say…I live in the city where you live and I didn’t think the weather was bad at all on Saturday night. Yeah, it was snowing a little, but the main roads (and even many of the side streets) were perfectly clear, at least in the city. I’m sure the highways were also fine. So, I’m confused. Are you people not used to winter or something? If you are going to wait until there isn’t any snow, you might well be waiting several months. (Note – I am all about cancelling plans when the roads are bad…but…they just didn’t seem that bad to me on Saturday.) Ill follow what that user said she claimed she will call later today ( not holding my breathe ). Ill go mia till wednesday then mk plans Wednesday .thursday make small chat and confirm a Friday date and Friday be like ok see you at such and such .ill even offer to make the 65 mile drive (yippie ) I get another send off then ill cut contact cause in not gonna waste my time If you want to go out with her on Friday, contact her Tuesday to ask her out. Three days’ notice is considered polite, and she is less likely to have made other plans already for the weekend. Contact her Tuesday, and assuming she says yes, then confirm on Thursday evening or Friday morning. That's all you need to do at this point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Eh, not looking good for OCCdave meister. I will relay advice given to me from my friend. She was an expert at OLD while I failed miserably. Because of this.... You have to jump on any interested girl like a starving wolf on a t-bone steak. These girls are being bombarded with messages and interested parties. Unless you are extremely handsome you have to scrap and scrape to meet her before some other mangy dog sinks his teeth in. You can't wait and fart around, she will disappear into thin air. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Well looks like dates not happening.Heres the convo from this morning Her.hey it's very bad the weather here Me-I know as is here just forget it Her.but I wanna see u Me.well let me know Her .i will That was 4 hours ago anyway I think it's safe to say that was her way of saying f off Are you serious? You said "forget it" Work on your self esteem...really. If you interpreted that as her saying "f off" it doesnt surprise me you have dating problems Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Stan's post is extremely poorly written, but very eloquent, if I may ! To continue with his style: go for the kill, man ! Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Stan's post is extremely poorly written, but very eloquent, if I may ! To continue with his style: go for the kill, man ! What the hell, man? LOL. Good thing you're a chick, I would've gotten demerits for a post like that. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 explain "demerits", this chick's first language isn't English ! Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 explain "demerits", this chick's first language isn't English ! If you write something rude or insult someone the moderator can put points on your account. If you get too many I think they ban you. I got 5 a couple of weeks ago and 2 last week. And I'm a fairly nice guy. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 wow, the only exciting thing that happened to me was to see that one of the posts I wrote got deleted - together with s few others, belonging to other people... but that's boring, compared to your exciting life! good to know about the points system, wasn't aware of that Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 No clip I've lived here about 27 years so chi weather doesn't bother me.I already know I acted like I jerk but I did leave a vm plus following 2 days after we texted so I'm guessing she wasnt mad.I called today no answer ill try Wednesday Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 perseverance, good stuff! just don't assume anything, 'cause you just don't know! But go for it, fingers crossed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 No clip I've lived here about 27 years so chi weather doesn't bother me.I already know I acted like I jerk but I did leave a vm plus following 2 days after we texted so I'm guessing she wasnt mad.I called today no answer ill try Wednesday Your 'just forget it' showed bitterness, low self esteem and a defeatist attitude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 If you write something rude or insult someone the moderator can put points on your account. If you get too many I think they ban you. I got 5 a couple of weeks ago and 2 last week. And I'm a fairly nice guy. How do you know if you have points on your account? Link to post Share on other sites
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