Does anyone dislike positive people?

[veggirl]

I hate buzzkills.

Buzzkills suck!

All the buzzkills should stick together and be blue and negative and leave the rest of us to enjoy ourselves

[TheFinalWord]

Humility is a much more admirable trait to me than positivity or negativity. Humility is real; Humility is owning up to one's mistakes and acknowledging weaknesses in ourselves. Pride is the opposite, and to me that is when someone is the most fake...when they are stuck in their pride. Because you know its a front. Take away that intellect, take away those big muscles, athletic ability, looks, etc. take away whatever that gift they've been given is (talents are gifts, another perspective from humility) and they aren't so tough. The guy living under the bridge puts his pants on the same way as the guy flying in his corporate jet.

 

If you want to see someone as they really are, see them when the are at their most humble. When the facade is gone and the raw emotions are laid bare. No one to impress or one up. To me, it takes a real man/woman to show humility. For example, what is the main thing that drives us nuts with politicians? The fake emotion, only sorry when caught. Take Mr. Armstrong. Just fess up, but no his pride is too big. People are quick to forgive when they see genuine humility. All of us have probably been burned by an ex. But if they called you tomorrow and just said, "hey I know things didn't work out with us. I just want to ask for your forgiveness. I know I did things wrong and the way I treated you wasn't right". We would all feel better, even if things didn't work out. Why? They humbled themselves and gave that elusive closure.

 

Just pointing out what is wrong in the world and other people doesn't take any special talent IMHO. We all have the natural ability (and inclination) to judge. What is the filter for our judgement? Ourselves, of course. The ultimate role model.

 

For me, it would be easy to throw in the towel. But in my weakness, that is when God is strong. I don't delight in my own abilities, but in God's. He can rescue and deliver. Humility is the key to redemption. When someone is humble, we forgive it, but when someone is proud and stubborn we just roll our eyes.

[todreaminblue]

With so much wrong with the world, I often feel that positive people are delusional.

 

They really annoy me, and if I see "I am a positive person" in OLD profile I skip right over.

 

I love negative and pessimistic people, under the condition that they express their negativity with sarcasm and wit, rather than "woe is me" types.

 

I have actually never met anyone that likes pessimistic people, ever. Do they even exist?

 

 

I think you need a balance , I have been told I have a bubbly personality, and most of the time if i am negative you wont catch me around people , ill go for a walk , see what i see, punch the crap out of a boxing bag or write.

 

 

I see it as you cant please everyone, everyone wants people around that act a certain way behave a certain way, and i think non acceptance of differences come in......i dont think anyone should expect someone to have a certain demeanor.I feel a lot of the time if you are happy someone tries to bring you down, smile at someone in the street instead of smiling back they think what a freak what is she smiling for, and no smile given in return......i think people should just be who they are express how they feel without worrying about conforming to someone elses ideals ...

 

 

 

you can never win ..it is impossible..ill still smile at people in the street whether i i get a smile in return or not..stuff people telling me how i should be or shouldnt be...when i feel happy i like to show it....i appreciate the feeling of happiness, probably because i have had times where i could find none, feel none ,show none,i was reclusive in those times, and as far as negativity goes...monty python was a genius....and i love the song always look on the bright side of life.....dont care if everyone else thinks it sucks...i also like sunshine after the rain, butterflies and blue skies and unicorns that crap rainbows..... deb

[HeavenOrHell]

I'm not sure pessimism can be totally separate to having some degree of depression or lack of self esteem. Pessimism is the same as negativity and that tends to come from feeling low or from being depressed.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, well I wasn't counting those with any kind of psychological disorders.

Naturally, if you have a specific mental problem, it's going to move the goalposts.

 

I was referring purely to people who have a natural and non-symptomatic proclivity for pessimism....

[Eternal Sunshine]

Haters gonna hate.

 

Just because you are unhappy with the world and with your life, does not mean other people should constantly yammer on about how bad things are. Everything isnt terrible. There is good and bad...and pessimism only holds you back. Personally, I like being realistic about things, but also being upbeat and have faith in myself to do good and succeed.

 

So if you wanna be a Debbie Downer, then by all means. But do know that MANY men avoid that kind of woman. We HATE drama...and that what "realist" women bring to the table. The reason people like you hate positive people is because of jealousy...not because of some inane notion that positive people are out of touch with reality. They are happy, and you arent...so you want to bring them down.

 

Sorry kaylan, yo have completely missed the boat. I am not jealous of positive people at all. What they do is suppress all negativity, until a point when inner rot comes tumbling out. That's truly nasty.

 

I just wish they could be more real. Most people are actually not happy. They would never admit it though.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I'm pretty positive with a lot of things in my life. I had to be or else I think I would've crumbled and not make it through my previous abusive relationship and perhaps be dying - who knows.

 

I do complain, but out of those complains, I still try to find something positive to get by. So among some of the people I know, I guess I'm very positive thinking? Does that make me fake then? If you say the more positive they are, the more fake they are? I know you said most positive people, not all of them.

 

I'm not faking my positivity. I take it as a form of motivation to actually live through this harshly difficult life. I can be negative about my cancer diagnosis and go - oh ****, why me, what have I done etc etc and then that would just depress me and won't help my recovery, would it?

 

Not quite sure how to take this but I guess it's just discussion. I'm just emo right now I guess, to be feeling kinda offended.

 

Hi lady,

 

I definitely do not think of you as fake. You are strong and kind and inspirational

[tuxedo cat]

I like genuine, self aware people wherever they happen to fall on an emotional spectrum. I keep my distance from inwardly miserable people who but put on a show of positivity in order to conform to the cultural standard or some ideal version of themselves. Some don't even bother putting on a show -- they treat others with contempt -- but they will insist that they ARE HAPPY and position themselves above anyone who strikes them as depressed for not playing the same game, because it's a reminder of what they dislike so much about themselves.

 

They are often self absorbed and controlling of their environments to an extent that they expect others to radiate them with sunshine and will resent anyone who makes a dark blot in their visual field by daring to be unhappy, despite the massive shadow that they cast on those around them.

 

If you're unhappy either own it or get help for it, but please stop being a dick to others and insisting that you're happy.

 

Your thread made me think of this Hemingway story, about the divide between those who hide it and those who don't.

Edited February 3, 2013 by tuxedo cat

[2sure]

I know just what you mean. " Positive" is a good trait ans something I've been known to flirt with myself...but very often people that project "Positive" are actually uninterested and uninformed and not sincerely empathetic. Socially, I see it frequently and my friends and I call it "Perky"....as in

 

Tiffany is perky as hell.

 

What we actually mean is: that women would shyte on a newspaper before she read one

[Woggle]

I know just what you mean. " Positive" is a good trait ans something I've been known to flirt with myself...but very often people that project "Positive" are actually uninterested and uninformed and not sincerely empathetic. Socially, I see it frequently and my friends and I call it "Perky"....as in

 

Tiffany is perky as hell.

 

What we actually mean is: that women would shyte on a newspaper before she read one

 

That is not me at all. I just choose to enjoy the good side of life instead of letting everything bad drag me down anymore. When I see people who lost a whole lot more than I did determined to get back up and rebuild their lives what do I have to be negative about?

[2sure]

That is not me at all. I just choose to enjoy the good side of life instead of letting everything bad drag me down anymore. When I see people who lost a whole lot more than I did determined to get back up and rebuild their lives what do I have to be negative about?

 

Yep. That's the really good stuff we all draw from. Inspiration, Thankfulness, those aren't just positive things ...they are essential.

[nerd]

I just wish they could be more real. Most people are actually not happy. They would never admit it though.

 

 

I'm not sure that's true. I think most people are able to distract themselves from how pointless life seems to some of us. That's probably a good thing, overall, particularly for your health if nothing else. I often wish I could be more positive rather than negative, and I'm sure if I trained myself to do so, I could. But somehow I'm never willing to take the initial steps to do so.

 

They probably could be unhappy if they let themselves be, but a little self-deception makes things easier to handle.

[SpiralOut]

So I take it this thread isn't really about positive people. It seems to be about people who pretend to be happy when they aren't. People who are deluded, or not genuine.

 

It makes me feel uncomfortable to see people act that way, mostly because it reminds me that I was like that for a while. Reading these responses makes me worry that I may come across as fake without realizing it. Making the transition from fake to genuine is difficult. It's painful. Not everyone is able to deal with the pain that comes along with doing that. But yes, I am annoyed by them anyway just because I find that they put me down to feel better about themselves, and are too far up their asses to even realize they are doing it. It's frustrating.

[in_absentia]

'I'm a positive person' 'I try not to take life too seriously' to me screams delusional/avoidant.

[veggirl]

So ES you think that "positive" means NEVER having a bad day, NEVER acknowledging negative feelings?

 

Then does that mean that "negative" means NEVER having a good day, NEVER acknowledging positive feelings?

 

That sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? So how can you say that positive people repress all feelings except positivity?

[xxoo]

I enjoy being around people who are content and grateful.

 

Often the people who feel the most blessed are not the people with the most blessings. I choose to feel blessed and grateful, and surround myself with like-minded people.

 

Of course that doesn't mean that I don't have days when I'm stressed out, angry, or sad. Just that most of my days are content and grateful, and I get back to my center relatively quickly.

Edited February 3, 2013 by xxoo

[Anela]

I remember a thread here, from a guy who said that a girl he was seeing was TOO positive/perky. It made me laugh, but it was really bothering the poor guy.

[SmileFace]

So ES you think that "positive" means NEVER having a bad day, NEVER acknowledging negative feelings?

 

Then does that mean that "negative" means NEVER having a good day, NEVER acknowledging positive feelings?

 

That sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? So how can you say that positive people repress all feelings except positivity?

Thank you!

Yet I am confusing things.

lol

[Pyro]

With so much wrong with the world, I often feel that positive people are delusional.

 

They really annoy me, and if I see "I am a positive person" in OLD profile I skip right over.

 

I love negative and pessimistic people, under the condition that they express their negativity with sarcasm and wit, rather than "woe is me" types.

 

I have actually never met anyone that likes pessimistic people, ever. Do they even exist?

 

If we have to pick one extreme or the other I would much rather associate with a positive person.

 

I would however rather be around a realist who isn't over cheerful but also isn't a Debbie downer.

[Eternal Sunshine]

So ES you think that "positive" means NEVER having a bad day, NEVER acknowledging negative feelings?

 

Then does that mean that "negative" means NEVER having a good day, NEVER acknowledging positive feelings?

 

That sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? So how can you say that positive people repress all feelings except positivity?

 

NEVER = for the most part

all = most

 

You know what I meant. It's stupid to try to catch me out by pleading ignorance

[Eternal Sunshine]

Just to clarify:

 

Fake positive people annoy me

Perky, bubbly people annoy me as well (slightly less than the first group, but still enough to stay away from them). Yes, even if they are genuine in being perky and bubbly.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It seems that overwhelming number of personality traits that today's society views as positive are actually turn offs for me.

 

So it's very difficult to try and improve myself and be more "likeable" by society, because I will become less likable to myself.

[veggirl]

Interesting.

 

I get not liking fakey happy people, but genuinely happy people also annoy you. That's weird. I'm not sure "society" applauds bubbly, in fact often bubbly is depicted as ditzy. There's a slew of personality traits that are viewed as attractive, I wouldn't say that it is just happy to lucky type of stuff.

[TheFinalWord]

It seems that overwhelming number of personality traits that today's society views as positive are actually turn offs for me.

 

So it's very difficult to try and improve myself and be more "likeable" by society, because I will become less likable to myself.

 

That's all you can do is be true to yourself. Society in general is superficial; a bloated cow designed to feed consumerism. The fact you see this as fake and disingenuous is good in my opinion. To me, that is a positive trait. An accurate view of the meaninglessness of life. I was at this point once.

 

Just by two cents, but I recommend to read Ecclesiastes from the bible. It gives the perspective of life without God. The book was written by King Solomon, the wisest and richest man in all of human history. He also had over 700 wives and has his fill of love; wrote a lot about love and romance (racy stuff folks may not know is in the bible lol). His conclusion: It's all worthless

 

"Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever. No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them.

 

Wisdom Is Meaningless

I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

 

Pleasures Are Meaningless

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.

My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.

 

Toil Is Meaningless

God gives some people wealth, possessions and honor, so that they lack nothing their hearts desire, but God does not grant them the ability to enjoy them, and strangers enjoy them instead. A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he. It comes without meaning, it departs in darkness, and in darkness its name is shrouded. Though it never saw the sun or knew anything, it has more rest than does that man—even if he lives a thousand years twice over but fails to enjoy his prosperity. Do not all go to the same place?"

 

Power is Meaningless

Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to heed a warning. The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king’s successor. There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

 

Riches are Meaningless

Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless. As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owners except to feast their eyes on them? The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much,but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep.

 

 

He goes on and on, but I think you get the theme I think you are closer to an answer than you think You pretty much have everything life has to offer: beauty, money, intelligence, success, but it's empty. I've been there If this interests you, I will let you read the rest of the book to see his conclusion.

 

Ecclesiastes 6 NIV - I have seen another evil under the sun, - Bible Gateway

[ladyabstrused]

Hi lady,

 

I definitely do not think of you as fake. You are strong and kind and inspirational

 

Aww, thanks ES.

That cleared my doubt about your original post then, I took it the wrong way, sorry. That said, I do commend your bluntness and honesty with your feelings and emotions. They're always genuine and you don't beat around the bush.

[TheFinalWord]

Aww, thanks ES.

That cleared my doubt about your original post then, I took it the wrong way, sorry. That said, I do commend your bluntness and honesty with your feelings and emotions. They're always genuine and you don't beat around the bush.

 

I agree! ES is searching (aren't we all?). I enjoy reading her thoughts and admire how she puts herself out there for all of us to see her journey. That takes courage. I couldn't do that!