clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) I mean all I want it so test him out and see his reaction Edited February 2, 2013 by clairehud
Author clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Bloody delete, it all went blank when i wanted to edit My question is does this rule work on a long distant "friend" with who you never had any fight, who just vanished and never replied to your greetings for new year's eve, but who called you for christmas a couple of times?! Sine then we dont talk, as i said no fights, no nothing, he just didnt congraluated me back NY and i got offended, I decided NC for a month. Now I want to text him to see his reaction, what should i do? Give it a last shot out of the blue? What should i text? Hi, how are you is old fashion. I even dont know why I like him, maybe because he got me into his game and I fell for how much he said he was crazy about me, but actions speak louder then the words, right?
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 What is it you want from him, exactly? No Contact is not a tool to play mind-games with, or something you use to manipulate someone else. That's just dishonest. if you want to stay in touch, just shut up and let him make the next approach. if you don't want to stay in touch, go Complete No Contact and ignore everything and anything he says or does. It's that simple.
Author clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 What is it you want from him, exactly? No Contact is not a tool to play mind-games with, or something you use to manipulate someone else. That's just dishonest. if you want to stay in touch, just shut up and let him make the next approach. if you don't want to stay in touch, go Complete No Contact and ignore everything and anything he says or does. It's that simple. I want to stay in touch, but he is the one that vanished, not me. He didnt make any approach after my last text for New Year, thats rude from him. I just dont know if I should text him to see how he is doing, some text like i'd text a friend with who I didnt talk for months, or what? Guess he is manipulating me, he is dishonest and an *******. Just dont know if i should swalllow my pride and make the first move after 4,5 weeks. Dont wanna look pathetic
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 No, do nothing. Notice that in both options, I suggested you stay No Contact. if he contacts you, then you can take a moment or 5 to decide what to do. If he never contacts you - well.... what 'friend', exactly? He sounds flaky and a 'user' anyway. When it's convenient you're his focus, when he's bored or has something else to do, he ignores you. Nice. go No Contact, and don't ever break it, at all, unless it's because his house is on fire. 1
Author clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 No, do nothing. Notice that in both options, I suggested you stay No Contact. if he contacts you, then you can take a moment or 5 to decide what to do. If he never contacts you - well.... what 'friend', exactly? He sounds flaky and a 'user' anyway. When it's convenient you're his focus, when he's bored or has something else to do, he ignores you. Nice. go No Contact, and don't ever break it, at all, unless it's because his house is on fire. Thanks! I decided I wont do it for now
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 No - Listen: Don't do it at any time. if you chase him up or keep trying, he will know that he's irresistible, no matter how hard you try.... So all he ever needs to do, is to sit back and wait for you to come back..... 'For now' doesn't cut it. 'Any more' is what you mean......
Author clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 No - Listen: Don't do it at any time. if you chase him up or keep trying, he will know that he's irresistible, no matter how hard you try.... So all he ever needs to do, is to sit back and wait for you to come back..... 'For now' doesn't cut it. 'Any more' is what you mean...... Okay, okay I wont do it at any time! I promise even though you are a complete stranger! Okay its totally reasonable for now not to contact ever, ever again. If he needs me he'd find the way. I get it all, BUT...there is just one thing that bothers me and that is: Its a bit complicated because i feel quilt! Why? Because he spent 3.000$ on me last time I've seen him! I didnt want it, I am not a gold digger he just caught me by suprise and got me return ticket plus a brand new phone because my phone died then. So to be honest my guilt is killing me and I feel I'd be a bitch by not contacting him at all even if he doesnt contact me, thats who I am, I can't change it, but I will try. I just like to be nice to people that threated me good. I know I don't own him anything but... I posted this because I am confused, usually I NC everyone easily, this time is just wierd and different, not just because I like him very much, but because of this thing above called guilt! I'd like to stay with him in good relations no matter what kind of ignoring ******* he is nowdays
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I want to stay in touch, but he is the one that vanished, not me. He didnt make any approach after my last text for New Year, thats rude from him. I just dont know if I should text him to see how he is doing, some text like i'd text a friend with who I didnt talk for months, or what? Guess he is manipulating me, he is dishonest and an *******. Just dont know if i should swalllow my pride and make the first move after 4,5 weeks. Dont wanna look pathetic And you want to contact him... why?
Author clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 And you want to contact him... why? Lol guess it posted my post all below I just dont see it haha, so I posted 2nd one! Wierd! Anyway, thanks for reply...As I said above I feel a bit guilty because of the money involved. He was nice to me as always when we met and untill he stopped communicating with me all of the sudden! I said we never faught or something, he just stopped communicating with me as I did the same to him. Yes, he is an ******* with communication lately, but he wasnt with his actions. I am not defending him or something those are just the facts. He is confusing. Or maybe I am just complicating things... I dont know guess I need to solve these things with myself and move on.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Lol guess it posted my post all below I just dont see it haha, so I posted 2nd one! Wierd! Anyway, thanks for reply...As I said above I feel a bit guilty because of the money involved. He was nice to me as always when we met and untill he stopped communicating with me all of the sudden! I said we never faught or something, he just stopped communicating with me as I did the same to him. Yes, he is an ******* with communication lately, but he wasnt with his actions. I am not defending him or something those are just the facts. He is confusing. Or maybe I am just complicating things... I dont know guess I need to solve these things with myself and move on. If he was pissed about the money thing, he would be contacting you to let you know. Drop it. Move on... pleaseeee.
Author clairehud Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 If he was pissed about the money thing, he would be contacting you to let you know. Drop it. Move on... pleaseeee. I am moving on
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