calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 last weekend we exchanged stuff and went for coffee.. she offered to be friends. i said no it'd be weird seeing her as just a friend i wouldn't like it. got really drunk i was walking through the club, she grabbed me. said something i didn't hear.. i nodded hugged her and kept walking.. Later on she pulled me to a side.. told me her life is really difficult she's struggling financially i don't seem to remember much else but we were talking for about an hour. ( we were both extremely drunk it was 3am ) i asked if she'd like to go for dinner next weekend start a fresh. i told her we were both good people just going through difficult times. She said she'd really like to. i was drunk and excited and happy went in to kiss her.. got rejected (curling up in a ball hungover and cringing about it) my friends eventually came over and said it was time to leave (good friends i just wish they came sooner) what am i to make of this? it seemed like there was a lot of chemistry in how she was with me before the rejected kiss. am i just getting excited about something i should not get excited about ? have i made things worse on myself ? she did initiate contact in the club twice.. she opened up to me emotionally and she did agree to dinner. i was stupid to try and kiss her, my friend seems to think this is positive and it's obvious she wouldn't kiss me at this stage because we have to take things slowly... but i don't know if i made a fool of myself ? I don't know if i should expect a text today along the lines of ' omg i was drunk i don't really want to go for dinner bye' we broke up a month ago and I've solidly not contacted her once.. only replied a couple of times with short answers to her texts.
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Soooo..... You DID go to the same club then......? idiotic. Really dumbklutz. Sorry. It had to be said. Might as well have been me that said it.
williamshakespeare Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 she probably felt you were rushing things a litte. if she blows you off today, just go NC for another 3 to 4 weeks (its obviously working in your case) You never know - she may wake up and thinks it kind of cute and funny. 1
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 she probably felt you were rushing things a litte. if she blows you off today, just go NC for another 3 to 4 weeks (its obviously working in your case) You never know - she may wake up and thinks it kind of cute and funny. thank you! yea she just text me asking if I enjoyed my night and how am I doing and she apologizes for being so drunk and laughed about it. I text her back but I haven't mentioned dinner yet! I think I need to stop rushing things and play this slowly!
GlassesSeventy Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 From the sounds of it, she still only wants to be friends - this isn't going to end well. 1
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Soooo..... You DID go to the same club then......? idiotic. Really dumbklutz. Sorry. It had to be said. Might as well have been me that said it. what would you have done? hidden away in your bedroom, not drinking, not having fun not living how you want to... just in case your ex showed up ? can't let somebody do that to you can you ? it's my club i'm going. if she doesn't like it she can find another, i'm not avoiding places and people I like for somebody who dumped me! if I get drunk and say something I shouldn't or do something I shouldn't, what have I got to lose? especially if i'm supposed to go no contact ignore her and never see her again anyway! my pride? in a person i'm never going to see or speak to agains eyes I may look like a loser sure. but why would that bother me ? if I try and fail at least I know I gave something I considered very important to me all i'd got and I don't think that that is an unhealthy attitude to have towards anything in life. i'll find it easier to move on knowing I didn't just walk away and sit in my bedroom not going out. not trying. just giving up and trying to heal by going no contact. I think that's idiotic. but hey if that's how you find happiness again.. go for it ! i'd rather go out and have fun .
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 what would you have done? hidden away in your bedroom, not drinking, not having fun not living how you want to... just in case your ex showed up ? No, I'd have done this: I'm gonna party hard. If she's close by and see's me i'll say hi, give her a hug and say I have to go i'm with friends or something and to enjoy her night! yeah, way to go!! 2
Ladybugz Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 So you get drunk and you dont know well all of the stuff she tld you.But you still remember exactl what was going on about kissing and go for dinner? Dude please , stop lying. And i think you wanted to take advantage of the situation to kiss her. She was their more for some distraction. So she was not interested to kiss you or anything. But you saw the drunkenness etc as a opportunity to even get in her pants. You are a jerk. How can you think about kiss while she was telling you about sadness of her life. fool. I think she was to nice to you. beat u up! 1
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 So you get drunk and you dont know well all of the stuff she tld you.But you still remember exactl what was going on about kissing and go for dinner? Dude please , stop lying. And i think you wanted to take advantage of the situation to kiss her. She was their more for some distraction. So she was not interested to kiss you or anything. But you saw the drunkenness etc as a opportunity to even get in her pants. You are a jerk. How can you think about kiss while she was telling you about sadness of her life. fool. I think she was to nice to you. beat u up! maybe you're right i am a jerk. i got too drunk. i missed her it felt like old times. sorry for being a bad person. I wish people on this site would give me advice rather than abuse. i got dumped i want my ex back. she approached me pulled me off to sit down with her, told me her emotions. agreed to go for dinner and take things slow. i got a little excited and caught up in the moment and tried to kiss her. i am a bad person. i was completely drunk it felt like the right thing to do at the time. i really don't remember much of the conversation at all and i feel terrible for it. i don't remember what i said or what she said. all i remember is plucking up the courage to ask her out and getting rejected. she text me this morning asking how my night was and she hopes i'm alright and she apologised for being a drunken mess.
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 No, I'd have done this: yeah, way to go!! she grabbed me, said something , i said yes , smiled gave her a hug and said enjoy your night and walked away.. two hours later she grabbed me and sat me down. should i have just said 'no get away from me please' 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 maybe you're right i am a jerk. i got too drunk. i missed her it felt like old times. sorry for being a bad person. I wish people on this site would give me advice rather than abuse. i got dumped i want my ex back. she approached me pulled me off to sit down with her, told me her emotions. agreed to go for dinner and take things slow. i got a little excited and caught up in the moment and tried to kiss her. i am a bad person. i was completely drunk it felt like the right thing to do at the time. i really don't remember much of the conversation at all and i feel terrible for it. i don't remember what i said or what she said. all i remember is plucking up the courage to ask her out and getting rejected. she text me this morning asking how my night was and she hopes i'm alright and she apologised for being a drunken mess. Okay, okay..... being drunk is the worst thing in a break-up. The times people in steady, resolved and unbroken No Contact, post "Oh god, I messed up last night, I drunk-texted him/her....." And it blows everything out of the water. So how to resolve this? You send her the following message: "I have to apologise for having behaved like a drunken jerk last night. The alcohol got the better of me. Sorry to have put you in that position. It won't happen again. Will do level best to avoid repetition at all costs. I'm implementing No Contact, so please forget a meal together. And please also don't contact me, or even reply to this. That way, I will get it through my head. All the best. *Name*" if you really want to make progress, heal and get over the worst, then do it.
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 she grabbed me, said something , i said yes , smiled gave her a hug and said enjoy your night and walked away.. two hours later she grabbed me and sat me down. should i have just said 'no get away from me please' Shoulda woulda coulda..... when you're drunk your defences are down anyway..... Move on, forget it, don't keep whanging yourself over the head with a proverbial skillet......
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