Justin2000 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I met a woman who had her own business and was very happy. I fell in love witih her as this bubbly happy fun loving girl. I asked her to move to my Country which she did and I had to support her as she was not allowed to work yet. She ended up wroking for me doing my accounts for 3 years...and I paid her rent. We never stayed together because I asked her if we cna start arranging wedding plans after she was here 2 weeks and she lost it saying she needs time to settle...I then pressured her into being intimate and things went downhill from there. She told me she is nervous around me because of my temper and violent nature. I do have that but I told her she has made me like that becasue she turned me down. I told her to move in with me after 3 years, I stopped paying her rent and told her to stop doing my books adn I took over all my accounts. She moved to my place and I moved to a family member. I treat her bad and then told her I was coming back whether she liked it or not. She left same day and stayed with a friend in big city. She was not happy and slept in her car for about 4 months. All this time I was paying for her food. She could not work becuase she had become depressed and crying and suicidal. I could not cope and lost the plot screaming at her all the time. All she wants is to go back to being happy in her old life, but she can't. she has no family back in her country and she will never make it there, not now, she is in her 50's and I am in my 60's. She lives in a big city and I still pay her rent and food 4 years later. She is broken emotionally and we do not get on. When we try to get together, I am so angry and bitter at her I lash out. Am I a fool for paying for her, or do I need to...is she taking advantage of me or is she really messed up.
2sunny Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I met a woman who had her own business and was very happy. I fell in love witih her as this bubbly happy fun loving girl. I asked her to move to my Country which she did and I had to support her as she was not allowed to work yet. She ended up wroking for me doing my accounts for 3 years...and I paid her rent. We never stayed together because I asked her if we cna start arranging wedding plans after she was here 2 weeks and she lost it saying she needs time to settle...I then pressured her into being intimate and things went downhill from there. She told me she is nervous around me because of my temper and violent nature. I do have that but I told her she has made me like that becasue she turned me down. I told her to move in with me after 3 years, I stopped paying her rent and told her to stop doing my books adn I took over all my accounts. She moved to my place and I moved to a family member. I treat her bad and then told her I was coming back whether she liked it or not. She left same day and stayed with a friend in big city. She was not happy and slept in her car for about 4 months. All this time I was paying for her food. She could not work becuase she had become depressed and crying and suicidal. I could not cope and lost the plot screaming at her all the time. All she wants is to go back to being happy in her old life, but she can't. she has no family back in her country and she will never make it there, not now, she is in her 50's and I am in my 60's. She lives in a big city and I still pay her rent and food 4 years later. She is broken emotionally and we do not get on. When we try to get together, I am so angry and bitter at her I lash out. Am I a fool for paying for her, or do I need to...is she taking advantage of me or is she really messed up. She needs to be free from your violence and control. Yes, she should move anywhere far away and start her business again. Or work and earn her own money. 1
Quest4_TheLost Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Your violent temper and anger problems are your fault, not hers. This women moved to your country to be with you because she loved you. You treated her like crap when she was at her lowest point in life, she couldn't work and needed you more then ever. You took that time to preassure her and try to get what you wanted out of the situation. You sound not only controling but very selfish. Your accusing her of taking advantage of you when you were suppose to be the one to help her. Who would want to be around a violent angry person?? I don't blame her one bit for leaving you. You need to take responsibility for your own actions. Depression is a very serious problem and moving to a new country away from everything you knew losing your buisness and leaping to a violent tempered fools arms. Sounds like you had a huge helping hand in ruining her life. You need to get therapy and help for your anger problems and stop blaming them on others and throwing a tantrum like a 2 yr old when you don't get what you want. That being said even though you had a hand in this girls problems, she herself needs to be a big girl and also start taking responsibility for her own life. If you do care about her perhaps instead of just paying for her to live, help her with some options to get her buisness up and going again or atleast to get herself a job to support her. Maybe get her to a Dr. so he can help her with her depression. Instead of throwing money at the situation and putting a bandaid on it, start helping with long term solutions. Then you can stop feeling guilty, angry and having to support her and she can start getting on with her own life. You yourself could try some angermanagment. Angry is a normal emotion and understandable but how you deal with and react in those situations is ALL on you! Good luck 1
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