Mimicakes Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry for taking up space in this forum but I could use a bit of advice. To make things short, this guy I met online..well I beilve he might now be in jail or possibly going to be dead from his past catching up with him and don't know how to cope not seeing him again. I can't stop crying. "lol got found, time to pay the piper -.-" That is the last message he spent from 1 week ago. I don't know whats happened to him. I'm seriously afraid. I beilve it's all my fault and hate myself for not being able to see him. Maybe I could of helped somehow, but my other issues with depression and anxiety, and unemployment kept me from seeing him in Canada. We don't have a long history but I met him on mmo and haven't started talking until Sept 2011. He said all these wonderful things about marriage and kids, and me coming to live with him. I loved it all. He was the only person to have said he liked me for who I am. Even when I look like a horrible fat freak. Don't know what to do. I know I'm stupid for crying over someone I never even met but I liked him so much. I cry everyday and can't stop hating myself for not trying to getting help for depression and axiety sooner so I could meet him. I didn't even care if he really didn't like me back. I jsust wanted to be his friend in rl too. I hate myself so much for letting him go. Anyone know a way to get rid of this feeling?
Author Mimicakes Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry I guess it's not short after all. If this in the wrong thread I'm soo sorry too.. I guess I'm a screw up with that too.. Edited February 2, 2013 by Mimicakes
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You need counselling. Not so much on how to get over him, but I think you have serious self-esteem issues and perhaps a lack of confidence. You know that your current state is ridiculous. While I feel for your situation, you really need to look to yourself and look after you. There's nothing you can do for him. So it follows that your sole focus should be to help yourself. Please - get counselling. This is just ludicrous - you're in pain, and you really needn't be.
Author Mimicakes Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I know I need counseling it has been suggested over and over but I juust cannot afford it. My parent's can't afford it either nor going to pay, and I don't want them too. Not even if it was $2 cuz it a waste of time to them. I miss him so much.
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You mentioned your parents and I guess you might still be living at home, so I didn't know how young you might have been. For all I knew I could have been 'chatting' to a 15-year-old..... See your doctor. Ask him about being referred to a counsellor. Some do exist who rely on donations only and who won't turn you away if you can't afford it. But you really need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps because this is ruling - and ruining - your life. Do you work? Are you in Education?
Author Mimicakes Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Doctor? I don't think I have a doctor. I'm not really sure. I haven't seen a doctor in a decade. How do I see a doctor without any insurance? How do I know if I got one? I haven't attended college...and the last time I worked was back when I was 16 and that was only for 2 weeks. I guess I failed at my life. Maybe thats why he wouldn't come see me.
Author Mimicakes Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I don't know. I have never had a clue. The only goal I had was seeing him but now that he's gone. I don't know anymore.
Recommended Posts