Really hating emotional roller coaster..

[Brit]

I would work on what sounds like co dependecy to dysfunctional and drama filled....toxic individuals. Hopefully it takes just a few tumbles or a long hot cycle through the dryer, before you realize it does not matter what these type of indivivduals think about you or what they are thinking, because after all they are toxic, and the best place for such is in waste disposal trash heaps....a good thought:)

[Loveandpeace14]

Haha okay, well I can give you my email, or you can give me yours.. it's up to you. Yeah lately I really can't focus on anything. My midterm was brutal, and I woke up with a cold which made it worst lol. Work was extra busy today so I didn't think of him at all, but now that I'm at home, i'm feeling a little down but maybe because i'm sick.

 

That's good that you weren't upset, and that she isn't on your mind much today, you're getter better! When I use to dream about him, I'd get sad, but now, it's not so bad. I dreamt about him last night too, it was a very bad dream, so I woke up scared haha. I'm starting to think about him less during the day, yay!

 

I can't believe it either, sometimes I'm scared that months from now, I'll still be thinking about him, or want to be with him which is such an awful feeling. I want that feeling to go away, it just like a bothersome feeling in the pit of your stomach, or days where you miss them the most, you start hurting again. I'm happy in a way too, but you are right, it really doesn't feel as good or the same.

 

That's good, always good to change for the better. It really is an experience, when I was little and heard about people getting hurt by the person they love, but I NEVER thought it would be this bad, it seems like they exaggerate it but no, it really is that horrible. Sometime strong people have their breaking point, but a person who isn't afraid to admit that they are hurt but know how to handle themselves, and without acting all dramatic, I think that they are a strong person. I still miss him, but somedays, it feels like i'm missing him a lot less than before. Some days I wish that we were still together, but others days I feel like it's for the best that we aren't.

 

Yeah sometimes it's better not to know. There's still so many questions left unanswered, and things I wish he knew/things I want to say but I know that he will probably not care, and I don't want to be weak, and break no contact.

 

Who knows, she could be regretting it. There is just no way of knowing I try not to care either but sometimes I can't help wonder if he ever wants to talk to me (or even thinks about me, but he has to right if he's talking about me? :s) but is too afraid because of what he did to me, because the first time we broke up, he told my friend he didn't deserve to talk to me because he hurt me so it gets me curious. Like what if he regrets it, but doesn't say anything because he thinks i've moved on, ugh just those little thoughts that bother me.. I know what you mean, it was nice feeling that way about someone, but I know you will find someone who will feel that way about you, someone who will make you feel better than your ex did, could even possibly make you think why you ever loved her. I've heard of stories like that, so i'm trying to stay positive

Edited February 6, 2013 by Loveandpeace14

[McDonald]

Just don't break NC. I've been on 3 weeks NC. I know it doesn't seem long, but yesterday she texted me and I did not respond. I just can't. One, because I don't just want to be her friend and two, she has no right to just text me after eveything she has done to me.

She was my best friend. My first friend I met in college. I see we out with her new boyfriend doing things she told me she hated. It sucks. I m getting better though. What is helping me through it is thinkin to myself not "why isn't she talking to me?" But that "I am not going to talk to her". Put the ball back into your court. You have the power. I wish I saw this sooner. Don't let him put you down, and get out and have fun, because that's what I did this past weekend and she suddenly texted me after running into me when we were out. Obis cult me having fun hit her someway.

[M23]

Since this is public, Ill give you my email that I never use

[email protected] feel free to message me, I don't mind

 

I get that all the time, I just haven't been able to focus the last few weeks. Sometimes it's just for no reason at all. That's good your thinking about him less! Just try to remember that he's not worth thinking about. The few times she does pop into my head, I get this weird knotted feeling, it's just unpleasant and feels physical.

 

What scares me is some people on this site who still aren't over their exes months on... Even with no contact :/ I don't want that, but it doesn't seem like it's something you can control 100%...

 

Whatever we think, we are probably wrong. Every time we think they are missing us, they probably aren't or at least not enough to do anything about it. All those little thoughts wondering if they regret it, if we could hint that we still care about them, wondering if they aren't messaging us because they think they blew it and they know we will never look at them the same again, wondering how something that special could be over so easy and quickly, from what I've read here, it's all pointless, sadly... It really does seem to be straightforward, if they miss or loved us, we wouldn't be on this site.

 

Its good to try and stay positive, its better than sitting thinking negative things about the future, yeah I've heard those stories too, people finding someone that is able to heal their broken heart, sorry if that's a bit cheesy

 

And nice one Mcdonald, do not reply! Luckily or unluckily, I'm not sure on that one, I've not been contacted. Even if I hear from her that she does regret it. I agree with you, I will not speak to her. That will be hard, I think.

[Loveandpeace14]

McDonald, I will definitely keep no contact. He keeps on trying to get a reaction out of me but I still haven't given in. Good, don't reply. Show her that you are happy It does seem as if the less I care, the more he wants to get my attention.

 

Do you want me to email you or add you on msn?

 

It is so hard to concentrate on school, it's frustrating, I don't even think the break up is the reason either. Yeah I try not to be, but sometimes it's hard, but I think i've made some progress. Yup, the feeling is very very unpleasant.

 

I know! I've read stories about people who still aren't over their exes after NINE years, like how is that possible... I definitely don't want that either, the feeling is horrible.

 

Yeah probably, but I guess we will never know. Ya it really is pointless. It's better to not think about what could've happened with that person, but to think what can happen with another person that can turn out even more so perfect.

 

I have heard about people not necessarily on this site regretting it but because they think their ex is moved on and happy, they think it's too late, and end up "suffering"(too tired to think of a better word lol) because they let "the one" go. I don't know if my ex misses me, but he has to at least be thinking of me if he talks to my friends about me right? like yeah if it was just a couple times, I think of it as nothing. What I find odd, that my ex keeps trying to post similar statuses as me after I do, like the other day I posted a status on msn about my one of my guy friends because he posted one about me as a joke, and then my ex posted one almost like it about his "friend" a couple days later. I honestly never thought I'd find myself on this site.

 

Haha it wasn't cheesy, it's nice to think about

Edited February 6, 2013 by Loveandpeace14

[M23]

Either is fine by me

 

Nine years..? Ouch, that would be hell for me... I hope I don't feel like this for that long.

 

I guess some people might feel like they let the one go, but if that was true, why wouldn't they be moving heaven or hell to have that person back? Or at least try, especially if it was their fault?

 

Our exes must be thinking of us, even if it is just a little... People might say they aren't. It just doesn't make sense that they could just completely forget about us? But to me that doesn't really matter, I suppose it is nice to think she is thinking about me, that way it tells me maybe I did mean something. As for him talking about you to friends or posting similar statuses he might be trying to see if you still miss him, if you'll message him for any reason, maybe so he feels good about himself? It could mean anything though... I wouldn't pay too much attention to it.

 

You can still see statuses he posts?

 

Yeah, it really is something that cheers me up a little, thinking someone could make it better one day but at the same time it doesn't help a lot right now.

Edited February 6, 2013 by M23

[Loveandpeace14]

I'll add you on MSN, I have an app on my phone so it's convenient, I never use email. lol

 

Yeah that would suck, but I'm sure you'll find someone before then, some people are just too afraid to move on.

 

I think if they are younger like us, they are still pretty immature and still don't know what they want. They think because they are young that it is okay. I don't really know, everyone has their own situation and what not.

 

I'd say that we probably come to mind at least sometime because after being together, how couldn't they, unless we were abusive and such, which I don't think we were. I don't think it's possible to forget someone who was a big part of our life at some point even if they aren't part of it anymore. Some people say if you gave them a lot of good things to remember, that they will end up missing you, not sure i'm not sure if that's true. If they were our best friends beforehand, I'd think they'd miss us eventually haha. Ya I really don't know what he's thinking, I try not to care about it but sometimes it's hard when my friend randomly tells me he asked about me, said this about me, or brought up a memory we had.. it's like okay then? lol.

 

Yeah, sadly, i still have him on msn, because I only have it on my phone and there's no delete button, but it doesn't bother me, I never have the urge to talk to him for some reason.

 

Yeah I know, i feel like that too. Like I try to think I will find someone who will make me happy, but yet, i'm scared that i'll be dissappointed that it won't be the same as my ex. I'm also scared that while i'm with someone I really like, but then start thinking about my ex again. :/

[M23]

Thanks

 

Yea, I know I won't let this own me. I will bounce back, better than ever. I've already decided for sure that I will never have her back. Even if saying that now is hard.

 

Luckily she won't talk to any mutual friends of ours... I have no way of knowing what she is up to, or thinking or anything. Which is good, it helps me not think about her too much.

 

That's really good that you have no urge to contact him, signs you are moving on maybe?

 

When you do find someone who makes you happy, of course you will think of your ex, but it won't be in the way you imagine. You'll maybe compare, it might bring back old feelings but those feelings won't be towards your ex anymore. Hopefully anyway

 

It is scary to think that there really is no one that can compare to my ex. But, that can't be true. There must be someone. Someone who does care. When I think of my ex, I try to remind myself of that. Doesn't fully help, but it's a start.

[McDonald]

Talk about roller coasters... Now I want to text my ex haha. The bread crumbs they throw out. It's like if you don't respond you ask yourself what if I had?

[Loveandpeace14]

Yeah I know what you mean. I was on MSN earlier, and my ex signed on but I didn't have the urge to talk to him.. but now, as I've tried going to bed, I keep wanting to talk to him ugh. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I said the things I wanted to, to my ex when he "attack" me instead of acting careless. Let's talk to each other, it will distracted us! Haha I was talking to M23 on MSN earlier too, and it really distracted me from thinking about him for a bit. It was nice, talking to people who are going through the same thing as you

[McDonald]

That does sound like a good idea.

 

I just wish she never messaged me yesterday she reopened a door I tought was closed so I was moving on. It just upsets me that she is holding onto me. I want to text her so bad!! To tell her all my feelings, but I won't get a responce and if I do, it's not going to be what I want. It's so difficult. And idk if she is texting me because she thinks we can be friends, or if she got jelous from my pics from this last weekend or when I ran into her on Saturday night as she didnt seem to happy. I afraid if it is the friendship, that I may ruin it by not responding. But then do I want to be her friend? Ugh it's so confusing. Sometimes I wish we just stayed "best friends with benefits" lol.

[Loveandpeace14]

Yeah, we can talk on here or wherever until we feel better

 

It must be very confusing, you can never know what they are thinking. If they are unhappy, want to be friends or if they just want to see you miserable. I hate that when you really want to text them but know that you shouldn't

I thought I was about ready to fully move on too, then he begged for me back, and honestly, I wish I never agreed to it. Maybe I would feel a lot better than I do now.

[M23]

Haha, I'm not sure if I'm jealous of people who get breadcrumbs etc or not. I suppose every day no contact is held up it gets easier... Every time we spoke after the breakup it just went nowhere. Or at least it didn't go how I wanted it to.

 

No matter what we do or think, it seems like they are gone. No amount of missing them can change that. I've woke up today and I just want to lie in bed and do absolutely nothing all day. I just feel like I'm alone when I'm not.

 

I used to hope for the friendship we shared to come back, but the more I think about it the more I realise that even that really is gone for good. Which sucks...

 

Ugh.

Edited February 6, 2013 by M23

[McDonald]

I relapsed. I purposely ran into her after class. Idk why. I haven't done that in two weeks. It's this message she sent me. Made it feel like this door was being reopened. Idk why I did this. I say her but she took her phone out and kept her head down. I said hey when she walked by and she said hey back. But I wanted to say so much more. Idk ways wrong with me. I wanted to say something so I didn't have this urge to text her. It's all just so hard. I want the friendship back. But I want my girlfriend back more. And I don't think the friendship..or relationship will ever be there. I wish I understood why she texted me. I wish I understood why she reopened this door.

[M23]

I'm sorry to hear you relapsed

 

I think you ran into her because to you it felt like she maybe had opened the door. Maybe just maybe there was still something there, she messaged you for a reason? You obviously still care about her.

 

I think you should go back to no contact. I wouldn't try to think about why she messaged you, it really could have been for any reason, maybe she was seeing if you're over her yet, maybe she missed you, who knows? But I know that's easier said than done...

 

Try to stay strong.

[McDonald]

I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I want to text her saying that I miss her. With that however, I'm looking for a response I know I won't get.

But what if I do get it? Idk it's so confusing. I really thought I was making progress until she messaged me. Now I'm stuck again

[Loveandpeace14]

I'm feeling the same way too. I keep wanting to tell him I miss him, but I know it will probably be a bad idea, and i might not want to know what he has to say. I'd say you are making progress anyway, everyone has their moments, it sucks, but it does happen.

 

Not wanting to sound creepy or anything, but I was wondering if you had msn or anything that we can talk on? We don't have to, but it's nice having someone to talk to who knows how you're feeling, and you and M23 are the only two people I've really "talked" with on here haha. I'm asking because it's just that I keep having a hard time posting on loveshack for some reason and it's getting annoying, probably internet reasons, but like, I still want to talk but it's hard when your post keep erasing on you after you post it. Guuurr.

Edited February 7, 2013 by Loveandpeace14

[McDonald]

Haha I do know what you mean. Yea I have an msn account. Never use it though but I can use it now haha. My account is [email protected]

[Loveandpeace14]

Okay I added you