ConfusedBrain Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Sorry this back story is going to be a bit long sorry... I ended things with my long distance gf the other day. After a year together I made plans to be closer to her by moving to CA for grad school so we can have a stronger relationship. I was happy about it last year but around the end of the year we kept breaking up and making up and I guess my breaking point was when she broke up with me via a 4 page letter because I fell asleep on cam when she was pouring her heart out about what was making her depression worse. I felt bad about it but she just ended things and then the next day after crying and yelling at each other I told her "Come back to me" and she did and after that I just felt so unsure about us and life on both our ends was getting hard and weird and when I was stressing about moving to a new city alone and then my school told me they messed up the math on how much I would need for school out there and I would have to wait till Fall to come out there when I had the cash to cover the extra cost. When I told her about it she became cold and distant and told me she couldnt wait for me anymore. So something in me snapped and I ended things. I never demanded things from her and I never forced things on her but yet she felt the need to do it with me the past 6 months. Yesterday she went from asking me if I really loved her to asking who was the I was seeing now to saying I was fake and shady for not giving her what she was owed. She mood changed on me so hard I reeling and feeling sick from it so after and hr of her threatening me I lied and told her that she was right I had met someone and it was my co worker that she hates with a passion. I only said it to end the whole thing and walk away while I was feeling unhurt by the break up but she broke me down and I started crying and then I begged her to stay in my life as a friend but she said she couldnt talk to me every again and I should burn in hell for being a waste of life and blah blah. Now Its late at night and I cant stop thinking about her and the 2 yrs of being in love with her and almost 3 yrs of friendship. I can't sleep and I keep looking at my phone hoping she would text me or call me but she is sticking to NC and moving on. I love her so much but she kept pushing me for things and demanding I move on her time table and her mood swings from her hating her life and being depressed. I have had heartbreak before this but this hurts to bad. I was her first love and I feel bad for letting her down. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with her? Should I call her? Go see her? What?
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