Woggle Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 It's a myth that men don't care about personality. I have ended things with women who had model looks because they had awful personalities. If I am going to live with and share my life with a woman she better have a good personality.
SteveC80 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I don't claim that plain women are single. I claim that plain women put a ton of effort into looking pretty, because it makes a difference in their success with men. Average men can achieve the same results by putting a ton of effort into career. I agree that men and women are equally shallow, but about different things generally. You act like men can walk out of the house on a date or to attract women unkempt or in sweatpants and ripped shirt Bottom line is most couples are evenly matched in the looks category while the guy still has to be of higher status
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 It's a myth that men don't care about personality. I have ended things with women who had model looks because they had awful personalities. If I am going to live with and share my life with a woman she better have a good personality. Oh, absolutely women need a good personality For marriage, of course. Not for sex
carhill Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Chasing is optional; occasional sincere expressions of valuation are appreciated and enjoyed. Rare gifts IME. 1
sweetjasmine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 It's a myth that men don't care about personality. I have ended things with women who had model looks because they had awful personalities. If I am going to live with and share my life with a woman she better have a good personality. Of course you're right, Woggle. And, see, this is what I don't get. Some fellas on here like to go on and on about how women contribute nothing but what's between their legs and how they don't need to have a brain or personality or the ability to do anything for themselves because they'll still have wave after wave of men throwing themselves at their feet, begging for just a chance at one date. Does anyone else see how that's essentially saying that all men are pathetic, weak idiots who are falling over themselves to have contact with a vapid, weak, useless woman with zero personality or redeeming features beyond her genitals? These fellas make all men sound like stupid animals who are slaves to their dicks and have absolutely zero standards or respect for themselves. How flattering a portrait that is.
Keenly Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Why did you two break up, if I may ask? Alright, so, our relationship, before it god bad, was a gift from the gods. I still remember the exact place, time, way she was standing, what she was wearing, and the look on her face when I realized I was completely in love with her. We always did little things for eachother, she would bring me the food and I would go steal a bunch of roses from various neighbors front yards ( Lol ) and proceed to cut all the thorns off by hand, put a rubber band on them and make them look all nice to leave on her windshield just so she could smile that big smile I know she had when she saw them. When she graduated high school she ditched all of her friends. ALL of them. This resulted in her wanting to spend every second with me, because she hated being at home. It bothered me, but only a little and I kept it down. I need by alone time, but I loved her, and her company. She would get bored, and then start the argument we had a thousands times of her complaining how we never went anywhere or did anything, and when I asked her for things that she wanted to do, promising to make them happen, she never had any actual tangible suggestions. Fast forward to summer of last year. I come home from an 11 hour day at work and we are hanging out. She wants to go out and do something, I forget what it was at the time, something I just wasn't feeling because I was so tired, possibly drive to tahoe or reno (4 hour drive ) In her anger, she hit up this dude she didnt even know and was a random add on facebook. Him and his 4 buddies picked her up and they went to a campsite where my girlfriend then claims to me she was "raped." This messed me up so bad inside, I can't even describe. This feeling of "Was it my fault this happened" or "Why wasn't I there to protect her" This haunted me for months and months and months, and she would KEEP BRINGING IT UP and talking about it over and over and over again..... even after I very politely said , please baby... I understand I am the one you can always talk to about anything but this HURTS me when you talk about... Well...... I found out after we broke up 6 months later that she just downed an entire bottle of captain morgan to herself, making stupid impulse, completely unthought out decisions and then attempting to remove her own personal responsibility of her cheating on me, with who knows how many guys. Later in the relationship, before I found that stuff out, we moved in together and stuff was just going bad. She started to get mean. She would make back handed comments under her breath that really hurt my feelings. "your hair looks disgusting today, you dress so trashy etc." She started sleeping under her own blanket instead of out mutual one, she started sleeping on the couch soon after. I had to leave her because I knew I deserved more love than what she was giving me, and the last thing I have ever said to her was denying a request weeks later to come crawl into bed and cuddle with me. That haunts me now every time I am lonely, knowing that I am the one who made that stop.
Woggle Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Of course you're right, Woggle. And, see, this is what I don't get. Some fellas on here like to go on and on about how women contribute nothing but what's between their legs and how they don't need to have a brain or personality or the ability to do anything for themselves because they'll still have wave after wave of men throwing themselves at their feet, begging for just a chance at one date. Does anyone else see how that's essentially saying that all men are pathetic, weak idiots who are falling over themselves to have contact with a vapid, weak, useless woman with zero personality or redeeming features beyond her genitals? These fellas make all men sound like stupid animals who are slaves to their dicks and have absolutely zero standards or respect for themselves. How flattering a portrait that is. There are people who will throw themselves at a scumbag because they are hot and it is not just men. The women who wrote love letters to Ted Bundy are equally as pathetic. Hopefully most people have higher functioning brains than that. 2
Bristolius Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Of course you're right, Woggle. And, see, this is what I don't get. Some fellas on here like to go on and on about how women contribute nothing but what's between their legs and how they don't need to have a brain or personality or the ability to do anything for themselves because they'll still have wave after wave of men throwing themselves at their feet, begging for just a chance at one date. Does anyone else see how that's essentially saying that all men are pathetic, weak idiots who are falling over themselves to have contact with a vapid, weak, useless woman with zero personality or redeeming features beyond her genitals? These fellas make all men sound like stupid animals who are slaves to their dicks and have absolutely zero standards or respect for themselves. How flattering a portrait that is. I don't suffer that too much here because I've got most of those guys on ignore. 18 of them.
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I never once said that There are plenty of women out there who are smart, interesting, intelligent, have good jobs, etc... The issue is one of social structure where there is basically zero expectations of any of those things because men are the ones who have to prove themselves in all aspects to women as they do everything in dating. That's just reality, I can't believe anybody would deny that And a man who is smart, interesting, intelligent and has a great job can get a beautiful woman, even if he is average looking. It is what it is.
sweetjasmine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 There are plenty of women out there who are smart, interesting, intelligent, have good jobs, etc... The issue is one of social structure where there is basically zero expectations of any of those things because men are the ones who have to prove themselves in all aspects to women as they do everything in dating. That's just reality, I can't believe anybody would deny that Well, that's odd. My H had standards and expectations. So do my male relatives and male friends. They expect their partners to be intelligent, interesting, capable of supporting themselves, etc. Are these men really so odd? 1
sweetjasmine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 So do I, but it doesn't change the reality of my previous post. Your previous post doesn't match the reality of any of the people in my life. Even outside of dating, women are certainly expected to be functional adults. Gone are the days of marrying at 16 and being provided for by someone else until death. The dating world now is a bizarre hybrid of 1950 and 2013 where women enjoy all the benefits of 2013 (equal rights, equal pay at the workplace, the fact that men have the same expectations to look great) with all the benefits of 2013 (men still have to do absolutely everything in the dating world) Men don't have to do "absolutely everything in the dating world" unless they want to. This just does not match actual reality. I don't know what planet you guys are on. It's really a fantastic setup for the opposite gender. I don't blame them for taking advantage of something that is setup for them like that. I just laugh at the ignorance when they say that dating is 50-50 In my relationship, I paid for and still pay for some dates (and paid for all my travel when we were long distance, when I did all the traveling with the exception of 2 trips), carry conversation, earn my own money, manage our finances, initiate affection, initiate sex, do thoughtful things for my H, etc. But you think I actually have never done any of those things or do any of these things because I'm a female, and you've decided that this is what reality is. And anyone who says otherwise is "ignorant." Um, okay, so I guess I'm ignorant for saying that I did what I actually did, and you're right because you're right and it's reality and I must have not really done those things because it's impossible because you said so. Yeah, sure.
pbjbear Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I have no problems showing interest in a guy as long as he is into me I have found through experience during the first few dates if I chase the guy, he was not into me. This holds true for shyer guys as well. I also show interest during the first few dates without initiating dates or talking, so no, its not a one way street. After that though, as long as I get the right vibes, I initiate things too. I pay for myself on dates unless guys got pretty mad too...I actually started doing that because I find when a guy pays for a few dates in a row he thinks hes entitled to sex. Not only that, I can afford it so why not...
pbjbear Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Even if you want to claim you do a lot more than what I'm saying in dating, you can't possibly still claim it's 50-50 At absolute best, it's like 80-20 in terms of how much men have to do and how little women have to do to find somebody I dont in the very beginning but if we've been dating longer than a month I do put in half the amount of effort. The last guy I dated brought that up and said he liked I made it easy for him after a few dates It works for me. Ive found if I have to do quite a bit of chasing in the beginning the guy isnt into me. Ive been lead on countless times when I have had to chase in the beginning
Recommended Posts