xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 "I chased and chased her until she finally caught me" Women traditionally "chase" men by selective attraction. What do you mean by selective attraction?
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Hmmm...I don't know what to say other than that my guy doesn't feel anything like the way you do. And also, our reality is nothing like how you imagine it. You don't know that for sure. The woman who did it to me never knew how much it impacted me. It didn't crush my world but it definitely felt s.hitty just like a female poster said. I'd just keep it in mind if it ever comes up with another man in the future. It's relatively easy to spare people from hurt a lot of the times by doing the little things.
123321 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 What do you mean by selective attraction? Making sure the guy notices her and making sure she's at her best when he's gonna be around. Making it clear that his stupid jokes and clumsy conversation are welcome, and so on. 2
wahine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 The thing is women equate them dressing up, putting on make up and getting ready for dates as their 50%. The guy does everything else. Initiate and plan dates, They paying of dates, moves the the relationship further, does all the chasing, calling, texting. Makes the first move in regards to displays of affection every time. The romance. The ILY's. The exclusivity talks. Not to mention making himself look good. The proposing. The paying of an engagement ring. The "keeping the marriage alive"....That's the guys 50% This post was disappointingly narrow-minded for someone with such a good username . Anyway, to support the thread topic, I asked out my first boyfriend, and my most recent one. Some guys do find it refreshing to have a woman show interest first, while others still prefer to do the "work" themselves. It's all about one's own individual preferences.
filani Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 @ Topic Ookay....it seems to me that the thread has gone waaay off track from what the OP started , namely that guys also enjoy/want to be valued and 'chased'/desired by their partners. I think the thread will be better served if our numerous ladies on here tell us how and what they do to make their BF's / partners know that they are desired and wanted..
lino Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) Yeah it's true that men value those things but often, what men value is not given much priority. Sad but true. Tell your girlfriend/partner/wife 'I didn't think you were much to look at in the beginning but you grew on me later on and I now like you for your personality' - you'll get the silent treatment for a while at best, slapped in the face and dumped/divorced/cheated on at worst. A woman telling the same thing to her man will expect the bloke to understand and appreciate it and if he leaves her for saying something like that, people will consider him a bastard. Edited February 3, 2013 by lino added more.
youdunsay Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Nothing makes my heart soar more than being pursued by the girl I am pursuing. That's really all I can say on the topic. My ex used to work at a Mexican food restaurant. On her break she would take the styrofoam to go boxes and color them with hearts and artistic designs. When she got of workr off she would fill that box full of burritos with extra salsa and randomly surprise me at my house with them. Its one of the reasons I feel in love with her, because I knew she was always thinking about me. Why did you two break up, if I may ask?
bolase Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 This post was disappointingly narrow-minded for someone with such a good username . Anyway, to support the thread topic, I asked out my first boyfriend, and my most recent one. Some guys do find it refreshing to have a woman show interest first, while others still prefer to do the "work" themselves. It's all about one's own individual preferences. ME TOO, maybe it's a Kiwi thing MY first ever boyfriend, I literally walked up to and kissed. First and last time, but it worked. With the most recent one, we lived in different cities for years and he'd come and stay at my house with our mutual friends. He used to chase me around the house and pretend to catch me, but one day when he 'caught me' i got awkward, he was all "I wasn't trying to kiss you or anything" and we didn't do it after that. When he went back to his city I sent him a facebook msg saying I was only awkward because I wished he had, in fact, kissed me. Then next time it was
Els Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I do NOT enjoy being pursued by women who are pretty much the opposite of what I'm attracted to. It's said that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade... but when life gives me durians, what the hell am I supposed to do with the damn things??? Eat them. They're fscking delicious. Seriously.
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 @ Topic Ookay....it seems to me that the thread has gone waaay off track from what the OP started , namely that guys also enjoy/want to be valued and 'chased'/desired by their partners. I think the thread will be better served if our numerous ladies on here tell us how and what they do to make their BF's / partners know that they are desired and wanted.. I do all the same things I did when we were dating--support him, take interest in him, admire him, crave his touch, crave his admiration, crave his attention, etc. Not for nothing, but I've also gestated and given birth to his children, and I've made significant personal sacrifices for our little family (as has he). What he wants is an attractive, sweet, loving, supportive partner who is a enthusiastic in the sack. He's got it.
filani Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Them letting the guy pursue them and responding positivley to it is their way of letting him know he's "desired". @ shutupmeg Anybody taking the time to read a good number of level headed replies by men on this forum knows that this line of thought doesn't cut it anymore for a growing number of guys out there. Another point is that some ladies try to show they desire a guy based on what THEY want rather than what HE needs in order to feel wanted/desired. The end result is that lots of women believe they have done so much of X,Y,Z and that's enough but the guy is silently thinking 'she hasn't done A,B,C in over a week, she's not into me. I'm outta here' .
sweetjasmine Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Man says: I have to take all the initiatives and do all the chasing Woman replys: Well, I have to look good, put on make up and buy clothes so it evens out! I have seen this alot of times. Women overestimate what they bring to a relationship. That's not a relationship. That's one date. There are a few differences, y'know.
SteveC80 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 But isn't that what women respond aswell. Man says: I have to take all the initiatives and do all the chasing Woman replys: Well, I have to look good, put on make up and buy clothes so it evens out! I have seen this alot of times. Women overestimate what they bring to a relationship. It does seem women are saying they offer whats between their legs as what they bring to a relationship But is it all their fault when their told since chlidren what they have to offer is their looks? Nobody really tells women to cultivate a personality and be funny and charming or be a giver its look good and get what you want from a man
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 It does seem women are saying they offer whats between their legs as what they bring to a relationship But is it all their fault when their told since chlidren what they have to offer is their looks? Nobody really tells women to cultivate a personality and be funny and charming or be a giver its look good and get what you want from a man If women got that idea, where do you think they got it? Try being a funny, sweet, charming woman who does not look good and see how much men appreciate it. Women bring a lot to relationships. We have skills, talents, and careers. In this house, I do the taxes and manage all the big financial decisions. And while I know my H appreciates it, it doesn't make him feel particularly desired. OTOH, it does make me feel desired and special when he pumps gas for me. I can do it myself, but I love that he does it for me, because he's the man and I'm the woman. That is one of the little ways that he continues to court me, just as he did when we were dating.
mesmerized Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 If women got that idea, where do you think they got it? Try being a funny, sweet, charming woman who does not look good and see how much men appreciate it. Exactly, it's really not women's fault to be this way if they are. Blame men's extreme shallowness.
SteveC80 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 If women got that idea, where do you think they got it? Try being a funny, sweet, charming woman who does not look good and see how much men appreciate it. . I dont buy this bs that ugly women are doomed because all men are extremely shallow while women look on the inside of a person I see plenty of ugly women in relationships with other ugly men maybe its not with good looking men they desire but they get into relationships just as much as unattratcive men I dotn see this discrpeancy you and other women speak of where only good looking women are in relatinships where all ugly women are single and ugly men are dating models 1
mesmerized Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Why are men blamed for "extreme shallowness" when you can go out to any night club really and all the good looking women are dating good looking men (in the overwhelming majority of cases)? Did I say women are not shallow? women are just less shallow. You can still see plenty of good looking women with not so good looking men but rarely the other way around.
PJKino Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 The men are much more shallow thing is a bunch of hot garbage.These days .i see as many frumpy women with good looking men as i do vice versa..most couples are evenly matched Try getting a date online if youre under 5'9 as a man and tell me looks dont matter as much to women.. I think women only find a few % of men really attractive so thast why in their minds they usually find the women the better looking one in most relaitonships
mesmerized Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Men are slightly more shallow in looks, Women are more shallow in money/income/education/success - You'll find a lot more well off/educated guys dating bartender/waitress types than the other way around What's your point? Proves nothing. Men and women are a little different - in other news, the sun is warm what is YOUR point? The guy said women don't think they need to have a personality and I explained why they don't. Cause men care about looks way more than the personality. Why are you offended?
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I dont buy this bs that ugly women are doomed because all men are extremely shallow while women look on the inside of a person I see plenty of ugly women in relationships with other ugly men maybe its not with good looking men they desire but they get into relationships just as much as unattratcive men I dotn see this discrpeancy you and other women speak of where only good looking women are in relatinships where all ugly women are single and ugly men are dating models I don't see ugly men and women much at all. Extremely rare. YMMV.
PJKino Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I don't see ugly men and women much at all. Extremely rare. YMMV. both genders are equally shallow and dotn want to date ugly people
SteveC80 Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 I don't see ugly men and women much at all. Extremely rare. YMMV. Cmon you know my point.Medicore or average men and women find relationshi[s all the time you women are trying to claim that plain women are somehow all single while average ddues are getting good looking women Most of these blah looking people of both genders find each other theyres no evidence that more plain women are single then men 1
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Cmon you know my point.Medicore or average men and women find relationshi[s all the time you women are trying to claim that plain women are somehow all single while average ddues are getting good looking women Most of these blah looking people of both genders find each other theyres no evidence that more plain women are single then men I don't claim that plain women are single. I claim that plain women put a ton of effort into looking pretty, because it makes a difference in their success with men. Average men can achieve the same results by putting a ton of effort into career. I agree that men and women are equally shallow, but about different things generally.
Keenly Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Why did you two break up, if I may ask? I'll be happy to answer that question. Give me one moment to switch from phone to computer and I'll relive the tale.
xxoo Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 The reality is that men nowadays put about the same effort into looking good as women do while still having to do absolutely everything in the dating game And my question always is: then why do it? Why do men want women so much, if women are so dissatisfying?
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