AmeliePoulain Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Me and my bf have been together for almost 7 months. Everything has been more than great. He's very sweet, reliable, funny, grounded and more. We see each other 5 nights a week. I'm 27 and he's 28. When we first got together and he'd joke around and once said "That'll be a great story to tell our grandkids" and he has told me before that he would like us to live together. I told him that I wouldn't live with a bf unless I were engaged/married and he understands. I also once told him later after that that I liked to live with him in the future but not now. He said that it meant a lot to him. When he mentions buying a house (he's in real estate) I know he plans to live there and eventually rent it out as an investment and will buy another home when he's older. He tells me that he hopes I will sleep over at his place but has not brought up living with him anymore (I'm assuming because he already knows my stance on this). Last night we were talking about how he still donates money to his high school and he said "If I ever have kids I'd want them to go there too" I just want to make sure that even though he said "I" that it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't see a future with me right? He always tells me that I'm very important to him and he tries very hard to make me happy and I tell him that I notice. We talk about how great we are doing and have yet to fight and I wouldn't see a reason that he's not serious about me. I thought maybe he doesn't know how I'll react and says "I". However, when we first got together we'd always joke about what kind of house we will have and how I want him to have a jacuzzi and hammock and he'd respond back positively even though we were just playing around. He asked a couple times if I'd change my last name if I got married and then 2nd time he mentioned it if I would change my last name to his. I don't even know why I'm over-analyzing it. So, I guess what I want to know is, even though he said he wants to have kids and not "we" it's fine right? Neither one of us want kids anytime soon and we also haven't discussed marriage as I feel it would be too early to bring up.
Balzac Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Not to parse words but IF you are having sex w him, fact is you're assuming risk of a pregnancy. That's kinda how you're thinking, right? The guy is just talking. I'd venture his choice of pronouns is random. Seven months is way early to talk seriously about marriage. Edited February 2, 2013 by Balzac
Author AmeliePoulain Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Thank you for your reply. I agree it's early to talk about marriage. I'm currently on birth control as well.
Balzac Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 My point was that no contraceptive method is 100% effective yet we speak as if that were fact. Your BF will make his move and keep you informed along the way. Enjoy! 1
Krytie TV Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 This is the horrible conundrum men are raised with. In the broad sense, women want men to think about the future and to be family oriented and be romantic. In the narrow sense, we are generally shown daily that any showing of looking ahead in a relationship is "clingy" or weak, and tends to scare women off. So, your bf is doing the right thing here. By using "I", he is being forward thinking and safe by not implying that he expects you to be there too (clingy) but at the same time is not excluding you. 3
Njeanne Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 Only if he keeps saying "i" everyday in everything and stop saying "I love you" (and I don't mean after you said it) and he hasn't changed in any way, then I wouldn't worry about it. If it does, well communication is important in a relationship. Ask him about it if you keep worrying, because it won't do you any good in long run. 1
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