In love with 1st love

[Feebie Camillo]

GOTTA GET THIS OFF MY CHEST. I AM A MARRIED WOMAN WITH A GREAT DEAL OF PROBLEMS IN MY MARRIAGE. NOW MORE THAN EVER IS WHEN I AM REALIZING THAT I AM STILL TRULY AND DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH MY FIRST LOVE. YOU MAY SAY THAT I THINK THAT BECAUSE MY MARRIAGE IS UP IN SMOKE BUT WHEN I MARRIED MY HUSBAND I KNEW THAT I STILL LOVED THIS MAN AND I STILL CANT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD AND OUT OF MY HEART, HE TOO IS MARRIED AND HIS MARRIAGE IS ALSO UP IN SMOKE. HIS SISTER HAS TOLD ME NUMEROUS TIMES THAT HE ALWAYS SAYS HE SHOULD HAVE MARRIED ME, I LOVE MY HUSBAND BUT MAYBE HE WASNT THE MAN THAT I WAS MEANT TO BE WITH. I WONDER WHAT MY LIFE WOULD BE LIKE MARRIED TO HIM, MAYBE WE'D BE HAPPY. THE REASON WE BROKE UP WAS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO STAY AND LIVE IN OUR HOMETOWN, WHILE I WAS GONE HE GOT A GIRL PREGNANT AND WAS OBLIGATED INTO MARRYING HER. YOU SEE HE DOESNT LOVE HER...HE STILL LOVES ME, OR DOES HE? WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO....IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE OUR BREAK UP, I SEE HIM AROUND TOWN ALL THE TIME AND WHEN WE TALK WE BOTH GET SO NERVOUS, WE CAN BOTH TELL. I HAD TOLD MYSELF I FELT NOTHING FOR HIM THE FIRST YEAR THAT MY HUSABND AND I WERE MARRIED BUT I JUST COULND'T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND I ADMITTED TO MYSELF AND MY BEST FRIEND THAT HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, SHE SAID SHE KNEW ALL ALONG. MY HUSBAND IS NOT A GOOD PERSON SO DONT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM, HE IS A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT BUT I FIND DRUG PARIPHENALIA HIDDEN ALL OVER THE PLACE, HE SAYS HE NEEDS ME BUT I DONT NEED HIM I LOVE HIM AND CARE FOR HIM BUT MAYBE NOOT ENOUGH, I COULDNT SEE MYSELF HAVING AN AFFAIR I WANT MY MARRIAGE TO WORK BUT HOW DO I GET MY EX OUT OF MY SYSTEM? HELP...

[opentonewadvice]

WELL IT SEEMS LIKE YOU NEEDED TO SELF MEDICATE YOURSEF AND DUG A WORSER HOLE BY JUMPING IN A MARRIAGE WITHOUT MENDING YOUR WOUNDS PROPERLY. BUT WHATEVER THE CASE TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT. YES YOUR HUSBAND IS WRONG FOR USING DRUGS AND DIS-RESPECTING YOU BY HIDING HIS ADDICTION. BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU SHOULD BE WORKING WITH HIM TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS, AND IF HE REFUSES DOWN THE LINE, THEN YOU SHOULD LOOK TOWARDS A SEPER ATION. NOW AS FAR AS THE FIRST LOVE SITUATION GOES YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF IS THIS FEELING AND DESIRE GOING TO HAPPEN ARE MAKE THINGS ANY BETTER FOR YOU. BECAUSE REGARDLESS OF WHY HE MARRIED THIS NEW WOMAN THEY ARE TOGETHER AND HE MAY BE AT PEACE NOW AND ACCEPTING TO THIS NEW FUTURE. ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM HE IS STILL FRIENDLY TOWARD YOU DOES NOT MEAN THINGS WILL BE LIKE IT WAS WHEN YOU WERE FIRST LOVES THINGS CHANGE. YES THE FEELINGS OF OH I WISH THINGS WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT THIS WAY AND WANTING TO SPEND YOUR LIFE TIME TOGETHER MAY BE A BIT OVER THE TOP. SOMETIMES WE FEEL DEEPLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED THROUGH ARE TOUCHED OUR LIVES AND IT BECOMES HARD TO MOVE ON. BUT UNFORTUNATELY I WOULD SAY YOU NEED TO END THAT LAST CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK. LOVE COMES BY WAY NATURALLY...TIME AND PATIENCE IS THE KEY.

[Feebie Camillo]

Thank you for all that. You made me think that maybe all this is just me living in fantasy world. We've both changed, and we're not in High School anymore and you are right i need to let him get on with his life and i need to start fixing mine.

 

I needed to hear this from someone standing on the outside

 

Feebie

[opentonewadvice]

Your welcome. And trust me i have been there. I had a high school first love i could not let go so i tried measuring everyone up to him and what he was and it never worked out. until finally i had to look myself in thre mirror and ask myself what am i doing ok yes i can admit i care about him, but i love myself more and my happiness is way more important. You have to have those talks with yourself sometimes. and tell yourself that especially when you have that urge to wonder what he is doing, or have those desires for him. It may seem hard, but i think you will make the intelligent choice. Who knows what the future may hold.....But i would not push things or rush into anything if i were you. patience is the key like i said, all time will tell.