Sarabina Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm stuck in a conundrum. I communicate with and hold conversations with men frequently. guys are generally nice and friendly towards me, but that's it! in my 21 years no guy has shown romantic interest towards me. I dress in a pretty and feminine way and I've been told I'm attractive. why do guys just want to remain friends with me - will I die a virgin cat lady! HELP!!! P.S. I know some of you will say that I choose to ignore unattractive guys and some of them may have been interested. trust me when I say that not one guy, no matter what he looks like has shown any interest ( I've asked them, I'm not just making **** up)
rushingwaters Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 How are you when you communicate with guys? Do you sound too serious or maybe express too much pessimism?
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Show your goodies more. Just kidding, that is terrible advice. 2
todreaminblue Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm stuck in a conundrum. I communicate with and hold conversations with men frequently. guys are generally nice and friendly towards me, but that's it! in my 21 years no guy has shown romantic interest towards me. I dress in a pretty and feminine way and I've been told I'm attractive. why do guys just want to remain friends with me - will I die a virgin cat lady! HELP!!! P.S. I know some of you will say that I choose to ignore unattractive guys and some of them may have been interested. trust me when I say that not one guy, no matter what he looks like has shown any interest ( I've asked them, I'm not just making **** up) Sometimes guys can be concerned about making a first move,just like we can, ask a guy out you are interested in, kamikaze style,it does work.....deb
Author Sarabina Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I've been told I'm a bit serious but that's just how I am I can't/won't change that about me
xpaperxcutx Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I've been told I'm a bit serious but that's just how I am I can't/won't change that about me Then change the guys you are going for. If it isn't you, it's them. Sounds like they're men who want noncommital dating and you're more of the relationship oriented type.
Author Sarabina Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I'm not posting pictures of myself:rolleyes: but I will describe myself, I am 5ft, 110 pounds, long brown hair, brown eyes, and brown skin ( also I don't go for any " type" of guy, I'm open towards anyone whose personality I like)
xpaperxcutx Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm not posting pictures of myself:rolleyes: but I will describe myself, I am 5ft, 110 pounds, long brown hair, brown eyes, and brown skin ( also I don't go for any " type" of guy, I'm open towards anyone whose personality I like) But attraction doesn't start from personality, it starts from their physical features. By " type" I meant the guys that you casually strike up conversations with. What attracted you to want to start a conversation with them? You probably don't realize it, but you might unconsciously be seeking out unavailable men.
Divasu Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Do you look like this? And, do you give off the 'I am not interested' vibe? It's just a hitch, a hunch I mean. 1
Author Sarabina Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I don't go for anyone looks wise - and why the push for my picture ( was the description not enough)
ErosOcean Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Is it not interesting that guys always ask women to post pictures of themselves? Yet, women don't ask men to post pictures when men complain about not getting noticed. That's because the first thing that men seem to always perceive as the problem for women is their looks. In general it is looks first, then personality. But it is possible for a guy to fall for a girl based on personality alone. But that's dependent on what kind of personality your guy likes. For me, I liked a girl, that I wasn't attracted to at first, after she made an insanely witty comment that had me laughing. Humor and brains, is probably the best trait that I like in a girl. But some guys like the dark brooding chick. It varies. So play to your strengths and you may find a guy that you will mesh with. As someone previously stated, start pursuing the guys you like. PS. Guys stop asking women to post pictures. You sound like creeps. 12
crude Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I see you're from Canada. The men in Canada are mostly toothless from hockey pucks, and they prefer a woman with many teeth missing too. If you have all of yours, you're not much of a catch and you'll be ignored.
tbf Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Do you look like this? And, do you give off the 'I am not interested' vibe? It's just a hitch, a hunch I mean. Forgot that scene. Wow, he's good! I'd fall for that too. 1
rocketman122 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I don't go for anyone looks wise - and why the push for my picture ( was the description not enough) thats half of it. face is very important. body you can fix, face, not much. you didnt say anything about face. not sure how attractive you are in their eyes. people will say a person is attractive but if a person is, people will tell you all the time. If a person is attractive, most times they have no problem finding people to date. I know this person who dates a lot, but she has a crappy personality and guys walk away or she gets fed up and its next next all the time but she doesnt have to put much effort to find them. I sympathize with women who cant find guys. men, not so.
tbf Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I should add why that scene might be pertinent to you, Sarabina. Did you notice all her signals of interest to Hitch? If not, watch closely.
outsidethebox Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Do you do all that stuff I read about that you girls have a secret code for? That's what drew me to these sites to read about. Have to twirl your hair around a finger, look away and back, probably taking a few deep breaths doesn't hurt. 110 on 5'0" is pretty good, but men are attracted to an hourglass figure, so depends on how distributed. Then of course there's the all important what are you saying to each other. If you think he's a stud joke about what a stud he is and how does he have time to talk to you. I just made that up, may not be very good. Better ask girls who've been there and done that.
ascendotum Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Do you look like this? And, do you give off the 'I am not interested' vibe? It's just a hitch, a hunch I mean. I'm wondering if its along these lines as well. A bit serious could be another way of saying aloof or a nice way of saying quite serious & no sense of fun. As RM said too, a reasonably attractive girl no matter the 'not interested' vibe she is giving off is going to get approached if she puts herself in the right situations. OP your friends who know you best are going to have to give you some feedback with this.
ScreamingTrees Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I should add why that scene might be pertinent to you, Sarabina. Did you notice all her signals of interest to Hitch? If not, watch closely. I didn't. What was it? Her smiling? That's the only signal I really noticed, and probably the only signal I'd ever get in my day to day. If there were any other subtle "signals", I wouldn't have picked up on them. She just sat there and smiled. She didn't really do anything else.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Forgot that scene. Wow, he's good! I'd fall for that too. Yeah cuz it's will smith. That scene is so corny and contrived I had to suppress my gag reflex. 2
tbf Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I didn't. What was it? Her smiling? That's the only signal I really noticed, and probably the only signal I'd ever get in my day to day. If there were any other subtle "signals", I wouldn't have picked up on them. She just sat there and smiled. She didn't really do anything else.Notice how she was initially sitting back, maintaining distance from Hitch, then started to lean forward, focused on him. Also, the look in her eyes went from skeptical but mildly entertained, to intrigued and focused, as he built his perception of her and the situation. There was also a flirt nuance in everything she said and in all her actions. So...watch her eyes. As this pertains to Sarabina, how do you express interest to men through facial expressions and body language? When you're chatting with them, do you flirt? Bear in mind that flirting isn't necessarily what you say but more, how you say it. Yeah cuz it's will smith. That scene is so corny and contrived I had to suppress my gag reflex.Delivery counts. Hitch's approach was good. He handed out compliments and backhanded compliments without hacking her down, while providing a different perspective that was non-confrontational. Good banter because he displayed major signs of interest through his intent focus on her, while still being able to retain his identity and composure. He also provided insights that might or might not have been true but displayed his observational skills, his interest in her as an individual. Based on that scene alone, Hitch displayed intelligence through his ability to think on his feet. He helped her get Dufus (so dumb, so lacking in social finesse, more interested in forcing his reality and conversational focus, onto her) off her back which made her feel politely obligated to engage with him. This is called a foot in the door because he got her attention in a positive manner. That he didn't remind her of obligation, instead absolved her by connecting down a different path, was another positive. And at the end, he bought her a drink with no obligation attached, hence increased comfort level. Notice how your response to me was loaded with major negativity, fraught with drama potential for given offense? Had you couched it in terms of asking me why I found the scene to be interesting, it would have been more conducive to extending conversation by building a greater comfort/safety level through openness to hearing another perspective. The only reason I'm responding is to illustrate both how Hitch triggered her attraction and also how building rapport doesn't include major negativity. 4
StanMusial Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm stuck in a conundrum. I communicate with and hold conversations with men frequently. guys are generally nice and friendly towards me, but that's it! in my 21 years no guy has shown romantic interest towards me. I dress in a pretty and feminine way and I've been told I'm attractive. why do guys just want to remain friends with me - will I die a virgin cat lady! HELP!!! P.S. I know some of you will say that I choose to ignore unattractive guys and some of them may have been interested. trust me when I say that not one guy, no matter what he looks like has shown any interest ( I've asked them, I'm not just making **** up) Are you a tomboy? I have met girls I thought were attractive but they put off a sort of masculine vibe and it was sort of off-putting.
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm not posting pictures of myself:rolleyes: but I will describe myself, I am 5ft, 110 pounds, long brown hair, brown eyes, and brown skin ( also I don't go for any " type" of guy, I'm open towards anyone whose personality I like) I don't go for anyone looks wise - and why the push for my picture ( was the description not enough) They want to see your picture because they can't believe that a woman who isn't either overweight or hideously deformed in the face has had no interest from any men. And even if you were hideously deformed, they probably still wouldn't believe it.
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