Necris Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Gentlemen when you approach a girl do you look for signs of possible interest first or do you just approach without any signals from her. Also what is your approach style, as in how do you do your approaches? As for myself while this method has been shown to be a complete failure I never get signs of interest so I just talk to random (not usually total strangers but not really girls in my social circle (they are unavailable) either, mostly girls I kind of know so it would be a little less scary for her) girls who seem friendly enough and try to see if I can generate interest, if I feel like she might be interested I may decide to see if I can ask her out.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Not a single response? There is no ONE answer. It's like asking "what is the meaning of life?" Everyone has their own answer. It's up to you to find it.
Author Necris Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 There is no ONE answer. It's like asking "what is the meaning of life?" Everyone has their own answer. It's up to you to find it. I know that, this is not about me, I just want to see everybody else's approaching styles.
somedude81 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Wait for interest, and you'll never ask anybody out.
Author Necris Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 There is no ONE answer. It's like asking "what is the meaning of life?" Everyone has their own answer. It's up to you to find it. I forgot to add something else, basically I want to see how you yourself personally approached women and some of the successes and failures you had. Mainly for advice and fun, always interesting to hear stories from others. Wait for interest, and you'll never ask anybody out. Probably works for some guys, personally I agree IOIs don't help me since I don't get them.
PJKino Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I wait till i at least get some sign wheter a smile or long eye contact..im still waiting after 32 years lol
ErosOcean Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Do this and you will learn more about approaching and seeing what the signs of interest in women look like. First, stop approaching women and just observe them. Observe the attractive women, but instead of focusing on her, focus on the men around her and how they react. You may see some funny things start to happen. Some guys who are completely smitten will have puppy dog looks, other guys will begin to act all goofy and have huge grins on their faces. Others will find some excuse to be in her vicinity. Others will act completely idiotic to get her attention. It varies across the board, but you will learn a lot. And you may see a little bit of yourself in the reaction that the men give. Another reason to this experiment is because women display almost the exact same behavior when they see an attractive man or when they are attracted to a guy. Their eyes and body language give them away. If you look at a woman that finds you attractive, their eyes are a beautiful glow. Their body leans forward in anticipation as if wanting to be embraced. It's pretty incredible, I have to admit. And yes the puppy dog look happens with women as well. By observing, you will learn what NOT to do and come to find that you must do the exact opposite of what most average guys do. You will see. Now when women begin to show interest towards you, it may be a shocker. After awhile you may get cocky, but try not to let it get to your head. Be kind, and be kind to your brothers. Don't steal their gfs and wives. Anyway, try this out and work it out for yourself. Good luck. 1
TheZebra Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You men need to pay attention! I've lost count of the number of times I've been out in the last few weeks, giving solid eye contact and smiles to guys across the room and they just don't get it. The initial signs are subtle, but they are there. If she's looking in your direction multiple times in a row, it's not a coincidence and she is not looking for the bathroom.
rocketman122 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 there's no rules. I just looked at your previous thread and dude you have no clue when it comes to the vaginal gender. taking notes on how others do will not get you far. do what you think is good for you. otherwise youre a clone and acting like everyone else. be unique dont follow.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Here's a few examples: New coworker...I bump into her for the first time helping her with her computer (it was a small company and I was a one man IT show). I was immediately attracted to her...and she's immediately touch/feely with me. Holds my arm, puts her hands on my chest when I say something funny and she laughs, etc. She's just pretty much obviously flirting with me. One day we go out to a restaurant with some other coworkers after work...after dinner is over I walk her to her car, we talk a bit and I stand VERY close to her. One thing you can tell is if you move in, if she backs off or not. Had she moved away to give herself room, I probably wouldn't have done what I did next, but she didn't so I moved in for a kiss. And, of course, she returned it and then some. We ended up having an "office romance" for a few weeks, until I quit my job. Another situation...at a house party, a girl comes and sits down on the couch next to me and we start talking. I'm not thinking anything of it...just thinking this girl wants to talk and nothing more. Conversation is going good, and she seems VERY friendly (but I don't always assume friendliness means she likes me like THAT)...then another girl that's sitting next to her makes a comment on how skinny I am (she likes really husky guys) and the girl that was sitting next to me says, "I think he's perfect". Well...I didn't need much more of a signal than that. I got her number at the end of the night. We ended up dating for a year. Another situation was at Halloween Haunt (Knott's Berry Farm). Went with a bunch of friends and this one girl that I kinda knew (we didn't really speak much but hung in the same circles) decides that I'm to be her "partner" through all the mazes. She's clutching me all the way through each of the mazes and pretty much by my side the entire night. Now, I wasn't too sure because this girl was kind of a known "flirt" and other guys in our group had asked her out with no success, but I figured what the hell...I got nothing to lose. So, in front of everyone, as we were saying our goodbyes in the parking lot, I just went up and said something like, "I had a lot of fun tonight...can I call you some time?" And she gave me her number. This didn't turn out so well...as this girl turned out to be pretty jealous.
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Gentlemen when you approach a girl do you look for signs of possible interest first or do you just approach without any signals from her. Also what is your approach style, as in how do you do your approaches? As for myself while this method has been shown to be a complete failure I never get signs of interest so I just talk to random (not usually total strangers but not really girls in my social circle (they are unavailable) either, mostly girls I kind of know so it would be a little less scary for her) girls who seem friendly enough and try to see if I can generate interest, if I feel like she might be interested I may decide to see if I can ask her out. First of all - don't come on a forum asking such broad/basic question. There's BOOKS AND BOOKS AND BOOKS AND GUIDES AND ARTICLES and probaly 1,000,000 articles about approaching woman. Start with the basics. The best is to just act like you don't give a ****. She could look at you and tell you you're an ugly tramp with no future and if you smile and laugh back, and say every tramp needs a lady you're in. Realistically though... the APPROACH is just about reading and conveying body language. Learn to talk with your body. I've noticed huge differences in success based on position myself. Don't approach sometime shoulders straight at them - it's incredibly confrontational and kicks up a lot of defenses. Don't Cross your arms to them if sitting. If their legs are crossed in your dircection, reciprocrate the activity. If you don't have positive body language, act as if you could give two ****s and start playing the friend card. You'll never be "friend zoned" by a single girl the day you meet her. That's a HUGE fallacy I've learned to conquer. Girls are quick to reject and "friend zone" people because they have their defenses up. Be bold. I remember taking this girl (suppperrrr hotttt reporter!) out, and in the woods shes like "Watcha wanna do?" and I said "Make out". She looks at me and says "Yeah thats not happening" and somewhat berates me / rejects me so harshly. Much harsher than I'd ever heard....I just laughed and said "Well you asked!" and then we kept walking and I acted like what she said went in one ear and out the other. I kept my cool. She texted me and I was friendly and all that. Completely chill. Suddenly she's thinking "uh, this guy is FAR too okay for not being with me...". Girls like that are so used to the reaction, they judge value based on peoples reaction - If they don't react- They value themselves highly letting those around them that they know they can have whatever so it's not a big deal. This is what I've learned over the last year...I hooked up with about 10 girls and spent 2012 purely and analytically trying to decipher women interaction. It was pretty skeezy (In the sense that I was leading some of them on) but I learned a lot. 1
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You men need to pay attention! I've lost count of the number of times I've been out in the last few weeks, giving solid eye contact and smiles to guys across the room and they just don't get it. The initial signs are subtle, but they are there. If she's looking in your direction multiple times in a row, it's not a coincidence and she is not looking for the bathroom. THIS. A woman is not going to just "accidentally" glance your way over and over again. And if she doesn't like you and knows you trying to catch her eye, she will purposely not look that way. If you find yourself making eye contact with the same person, it's a pretty good sign. I remember one time at a club (Geckos in Westminster, man I miss that place). I was staring at this latina girl sitting at the bar while I standing to the side with some buddies. I'd catch her glance and we kept meeting eyes. But, to be honest, I'm really bad with cold approaches, especially in clubs/bars, so I didn't think much of it. Plus, my eye sight isn't the greatest so I could never be quite sure if she was looking at me, or the guy behind me. BUT, just to make sure, I walked up to the bar near to where she was to get a better look and to give her a better look at me. I walk up to an open spot and was just going to get a drink when all of a sudden my friend, who had followed me, taps me on the shoulder. I ask him what he wants and he says, "That girl over there wants to talk to you". Turns out the girl was getting tired of me pussy footing around and decided to take action into her own hands. I walked over and that was that.
Author Necris Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 there's no rules. I just looked at your previous thread and dude you have no clue when it comes to the vaginal gender. taking notes on how others do will not get you far. do what you think is good for you. otherwise youre a clone and acting like everyone else. be unique dont follow. I know I don't have a clue, but what exactly did I say to make this obvious?
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 KungFuJoe, it's easy when it's served up on a silver platter. But I don't get things on a silver platter like that. What would have happened if you didn't get the obvious signs? They were throwing themselves at you. I don't think I would say they were throwing themselves at me. I've had women say they wanted to **** me straight up. But yeah...signs were pretty obvious, I admit. I don't know what I would do with "lesser" signs. I don't really "hit" on women that much. Not good in a bar/club scene where cold approaching is necessary. I will say that I'm VERY social. I have a TON of friends, I used to go out almost every single night. When you know more people and meet more people, there is more of a chance that you find that someone.
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm done trying to figure out what universe KungfuJoe lives in. If he lives in this one, then apparently he walks around with some sort of a machine that makes women believe he's Channing Tatum or matthew mcconaughey I've talked to a huge number of men about this issue, ranging from below average to guys who look like greek statues and none of them ever get approached (by anybody outside of maybe a fat girl at a bar) and none of them get the kind of attention KungFuJoe gets. KFJ is admittedly only above average in the physical department Personally, I don't buy it. I think KFJ is just lying through his teeth I believe him...I've had similar situations like that happen. You really have to open your eyes. There's a lot of girls out there looking around. I remember an old acquaintance of mine "oh yea we should hang out sometime!" wtf? Why? Why would we hang out? OF COURSE she's interested. we banged. It didn't work out past that....(usually doesn't. Easy come = easy go). but sometimes people just want to get to know you better for real and you do to and then it does work out... A lot of times, girls in those situations aren't going to work out because it's just so random and nothing really comes of it outside the physical attraction... If you want to MEET women, then MEET them through other people. Expand your social circle and expand your hobbies / join groups / community groups.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm done trying to figure out what universe KungfuJoe lives in. If he lives in this one, then apparently he walks around with some sort of a machine that makes women believe he's Channing Tatum or matthew mcconaughey I've talked to a huge number of men about this issue, ranging from below average to guys who look like greek statues and none of them ever get approached (by anybody outside of maybe a fat girl at a bar) and none of them get the kind of attention KungFuJoe gets. KFJ is admittedly only above average in the physical department Personally, I don't buy it. I think KFJ is just lying through his teeth Why would I lie about being MARRIED? If I was going to lie on LS, I'd be lying about scoring with a ton of chicks left and right. Seriously...who LIES about being married with kids?
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Some men have it and some don't. For the men who have it, I've observed many a time everything being handed to them on a silver platter. Even more so than KungFuJoe has described. It's more than physical looks. It's maybe some innate vibe or something. Looks are seconadary. Girls like behavior > Looks. Just be incredibly independent yet friendly. Don't be phased by a thing and make sure your affection is has value (don't go handing it out).
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Some men have it and some don't. For the men who have it, I've observed many a time everything being handed to them on a silver platter. Even more so than KungFuJoe has described. It's more than physical looks. It's maybe some innate vibe or something. I think vibe counts for a lot...and attitude. For one thing, I've always had a LOT of female friends...even in high school...who were very attractive. And I was cool with that and so I'm COMPLETELY comfortable around attractive women. I don't get all "goo goo eyed" and I don't stumble all over myself in front of them. I see some guys just falling all over themselves for just a smidgen of attention from some hot chick and it just looks pathetic. One time, when I was out with some friends and this ridiculously gorgeous latina (who was a bit nutty)....we're all heading into Denny's at like 3AM and she decides she wants to skip through the parking lot. She asks me to skip with her and I just look at her and say, "I'm not looking like a fool at 3 in the morning". She just says, "You're no fun" or something like that asks the next guy in our group and of course HE happily goes skipping with her. Well...as soon as we entered Denny's, I start walking to the restrooms...the girl cuts right in front of me and darts into the men's room. I'm like "WTF???" and I follow her in there to let her know she's in the wrong room. As soon as I enter the bathroom, she grabs me, shoves me against the wall, and starts making out with me.
Author Necris Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Here's a few examples: New coworker...I bump into her for the first time helping her with her computer (it was a small company and I was a one man IT show). I was immediately attracted to her...and she's immediately touch/feely with me. Holds my arm, puts her hands on my chest when I say something funny and she laughs, etc. She's just pretty much obviously flirting with me. One day we go out to a restaurant with some other coworkers after work...after dinner is over I walk her to her car, we talk a bit and I stand VERY close to her. One thing you can tell is if you move in, if she backs off or not. Had she moved away to give herself room, I probably wouldn't have done what I did next, but she didn't so I moved in for a kiss. And, of course, she returned it and then some. We ended up having an "office romance" for a few weeks, until I quit my job. Another situation...at a house party, a girl comes and sits down on the couch next to me and we start talking. I'm not thinking anything of it...just thinking this girl wants to talk and nothing more. Conversation is going good, and she seems VERY friendly (but I don't always assume friendliness means she likes me like THAT)...then another girl that's sitting next to her makes a comment on how skinny I am (she likes really husky guys) and the girl that was sitting next to me says, "I think he's perfect". Well...I didn't need much more of a signal than that. I got her number at the end of the night. We ended up dating for a year. Another situation was at Halloween Haunt (Knott's Berry Farm). Went with a bunch of friends and this one girl that I kinda knew (we didn't really speak much but hung in the same circles) decides that I'm to be her "partner" through all the mazes. She's clutching me all the way through each of the mazes and pretty much by my side the entire night. Now, I wasn't too sure because this girl was kind of a known "flirt" and other guys in our group had asked her out with no success, but I figured what the hell...I got nothing to lose. So, in front of everyone, as we were saying our goodbyes in the parking lot, I just went up and said something like, "I had a lot of fun tonight...can I call you some time?" And she gave me her number. This didn't turn out so well...as this girl turned out to be pretty jealous. I don't know man, you have very different experiences than I do, random women do not sit next to me to talk or show any signs of interest, if a woman sits next to me its because she needs a seat and she won't sit close at all. And I've never experienced touchiness from any woman. At the very best a woman may act friendly, and I usually mistake that for interest and its never the case unfortunately. But I am curious would you approach without any IOIs at all? I mean no looks your way, no touchiness, etc. And how would you personally go about it?
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I don't know man, you have very different experiences than I do, random women do not sit next to me to talk or show any signs of interest, if a woman sits next to me its because she needs a seat and she won't sit close at all. And I've never experienced touchiness from any woman. At the very best a woman may act friendly, and I usually mistake that for interest and its never the case unfortunately. But I am curious would you approach without any IOIs at all? I mean no looks your way, no touchiness, etc. And how would you personally go about it? No...I don't do cold approaches. I don't think I've ever approached done a completely cold approach...at least not sober.
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I don't disagree with you but how the hell does somebody know what a certain guys' behavior is going to be when she's never spoken to him? Like I said before, body language. I explained a few things above. There's TONS on body language. Body language can dictate getting jobs and consulting clients.... Being good with people? Presenting yourself? Worth lots of money - See Advisory consulting practices - very low skill entry (hardly any technical skills), very high pay.
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I believe in this "innate" vibe. Man I should post some pics of myself when I was younger and dating. I thought I was pretty goofy looking to be honest. But, I dunno...the girls liked me. They liked my "innocence". That crazy Venezuelan/Honduran chick that made out with me in a Denny's bathroom...she even said she liked the fact that I looked innocent. She's still my friend on Facebook, btw.
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I'm a big believer in vibe/"IT factor"/confidence/attitude/etc... But not one of these things can be detected when you don't even know a person and have never spoken to them before. That's just completely ludicrous All people see is how you look - IE your face, body, posture, clothes and perhaps how you interact with others Do you know how to carry yourself when you walk? I mean, can you, off the top of your head, explain how you should be sitting/posture yourself / present yourself / Know what to look for / how to push your shoulders down and adjust your diaphragm correctly so you don't look like you're puffing your chest...etc... You have never seriously just "seen" people and felt moved by their presence? If you cant accurately spit the above off the top of your head, knowing how to react and present yourself - go read and try it! I really did! Learn to know when to smile, when to look at lips, when to look away, when to look right, when to look left, when to END short conversations, etc..... Just go grap one of those player readings on the internet. They're all mostly the same and pretty damn accurate.
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