lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I thought 1 - 4 of his text was fine. It was just him being honest. I would think many people like to feel in control of their destiny. No 5 would have rubbed me the wrong way though - honest or not ...lol
Author lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I thought 1 - 4 of his text was fine. It was just him being honest. I would think many people like to feel in control of their destiny. No 5 would have rubbed me the wrong way though - honest or not ...lol Yeah, I guess it makes sense to say that you would be uncomfortable w/ not being in control of your destiny... but I read it as him wanting to be in control of me I guess. Haha, yeah it kind of hurt my feelings to hear that his fire is dying down. Especially since it's only been a month since I've seen him. But, I guess when you go through pain, the only way to handle it is to do that.
lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 of course no 5 may be a psychological trick Reason: If you feel the fire is dying down, then its human nature to want to do something about it......or maybe its just me being overly analytical Its actually a very well structured text/email.....I don't think he meant 'control' over you - that was just an unfortunate misunderstanding imo
Author lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 of course no 5 may be a psychological trick Reason: If you feel the fire is dying down, then its human nature to want to do something about it......or maybe its just me being overly analytical Its actually a very well structured text/email.....I don't think he meant 'control' over you - that was just an unfortunate misunderstanding imo You know, my friend actually mentioned the same thing. She thought that maybe he said the fire was dying down so that I would think "oh god no!" and try to rekindle something. And, well, the comment DID in fact place that seed in my mind. He is extremely bright, and maybe manipulative, so I guess I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that. Why else would you tell someone that? His email was actually VERY well structured. I just took the main topic sentences and put them into a list, but you're right. He did a great job of constructing the message and put some good thought into it. He's very poetic when he wants to be and also threw in some nice metaphors and whatnot. Seems I may have read his message the wrong way, as most of you are saying he didn't want to 'control' ME in a very negative sense. Hmm..glad I didn't send the nasty email back that I had in mind.
Author lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 PS- There are a few reasons I might feel this way about the message while you don't. he's several years older than me and I know he thinks of me as being pretty young, and has tried to change other things in my life. He always uses some pretty poetic and magnificent rhetoric to get me to do the things he wants me to do, such as being with him even when I shouldn't be... Also the first time we tried to break, it was his idea and I wanted to talk to him very badly. BUT i respected his space b/c I knew it would hurt him if I reached out. And he didn't break NC until we happened to run into each other by chance... to me, this signals that he was content w/ having the upperhand. And this time, since it was ME who said I wanted to break and go NC, he feels as though he does not have the upperhand.
lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Dear Lollypop, Your friend is very bright to see his psychological tricks Unfortunately your ex is also an excellent strategist - I think he knows that he's lost the upper hand and is trying to get it back. At least it means he still cares.....if you even care that is. Your situation is like watching a chess game. Please keep me posted on how things unfold
lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 THe purposes of 1 to 4 was to make you feel he was being sincere and honest and therefore you let your guard down and then 5. goes right for the jugular. We should ask this guy to write the next 'state of the union' speech. 1
Author lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Dear Lollypop, Your friend is very bright to see his psychological tricks Unfortunately your ex is also an excellent strategist - I think he knows that he's lost the upper hand and is trying to get it back. At least it means he still cares.....if you even care that is. Your situation is like watching a chess game. Please keep me posted on how things unfold LOL! I actually wrote out some feelings today in my diary about the situation and said, "I feel like I'm a pawn in his chess game".. funny that you would use that phrase. I think you are right. He lost the upper hand and he wants it back. And ugh, I hate to admit it, but yes I like that he still cares... :-/
TaraMaiden Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I hate to tell you but you're not 'all that' you think you can just come right on in An' mess with my head, tread on my heart... Well you don't have that right at all, you never did, you've got no hope..... Last Chorus: I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply I bet it never ever occurred to you that each day that passes it gets much easier to kiss the past goodbye..... I love THAT song........ Go No Contact NOW. Checkmate.
Author lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Go No Contact NOW. Checkmate. Yup. Doing it.
Author lollipop29 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 THe purposes of 1 to 4 was to make you feel he was being sincere and honest and therefore you let your guard down and then 5. goes right for the jugular. We should ask this guy to write the next 'state of the union' speech. Lovecutsrighttruu, do you have an email i could contact you at? I want to ask you something but not so publicly in case he could possibly find this..
TaraMaiden Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Er... Lollipop, that's a no-no.... From community Guidelines... For your own protection and the privacy and security of all of our guests, personal or personally identifiable information such as the following may not be included within submissions to the forum: E-mail addresses Instant message contact information (screen names, usernames, etc.) Telephone numbers Mailing addresses Bank account numbers Passwords, usernames, or access codes And neither of you have PM facility yet, as you have not been members for long enough/posted the required number of posts.........
Author lollipop29 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Oh I didn't know that was a thing
TaraMaiden Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Oh yah, it's a thing all right. It's to prevent stalking, pestering and generally being a nuisance to others.... For people like spammers and the like, you know.....
Author lollipop29 Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Oh yah, it's a thing all right. It's to prevent stalking, pestering and generally being a nuisance to others.... For people like spammers and the like, you know..... Makes sense
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